Page 3 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)

Paris Present Day

“Ethan, do you have a minute to talk? It might take a while.”

“Lilly, is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s happened, but I need to ask you for something.” I’m incredibly nervous. My mom’s not going to support this decision, and I only have my brother to count on. “I want to come back to the U.S.”

“You mean, come back home? Have you talked to Nora about this?”

Maybe it’s silly, but it still bothers me that he doesn’t call her Mom.

Our family’s small enough—and the emotional distance between them makes it feel even smaller.

I ended up picking up the habit and started calling her Nora, too.

The first time I said it, I immediately wanted to take it back—but when I looked at her, she seemed relieved.

Now that I’m an adult, I think she worries people will see her as older if they realize she has a daughter in college.

Our relationship is . . . strange. It’s like only Ethan and I are actually related. She keeps herself at arm’s length, like she’s not part of this family.

The last time the three of us were in the same room—barely talking—was two years ago, at Christmas, in Boston.

That night always brings back his face too. My brother’s friend. But I force myself to shut it down. I may be many things, but a masochist isn’t one of them. Daydreaming about a man who probably doesn’t even remember I exist is pure stupidity.

“I just don’t want to stay here anymore,” I say, bringing myself back to the present. “I’m twenty now, which gives me access to the trust fund Dad left. I’m going to buy an apartment and live on my own.”

“You’re going to what? Lilly, I don’t think I heard that right.”

“You heard me. I’ve already withdrawn from school here. I’ve enrolled in a college in Massachusetts, but I’ve got about two weeks before classes start. I need your help finding a temporary place to stay until I find one I want to buy.”

“No way. You’re not going to be alone in a city like Boston. I get that you don’t want to live with Nora anymore, but at least find a friend to move in with.”

“Please, calm down. I’m an adult—even if I don’t know the first thing about life.”

“You’re perfect. I don’t want that to change.”

“You don’t want me to grow up. I’m sorry to break the news, but I already have—at least physically.

I need your help, Ethan. Please don’t make me go back to living with her.

Even fifteen days would feel like torture.

If you could just explain how to find a decent short-term apartment, I can figure out the rest. Please, Biggie. I don’t even know where to begin.”

“I don’t want you living alone, Lilly. You have zero life experience.”

“Is that my fault? Did I ask to be shipped off to a Swiss convent school at twelve?”

His sigh is more like a growl, but I take it as a sign I’m starting to win this argument.

“You’re not playing fair, Pumpkin.” As soon as he uses the nickname he gave me as a kid, I know I’ve won. “Fine. You can come. But forget the short-term rental. You’ll stay with me until we find something for you to buy.”

“Ethan, I can’t live with you. That’s not why I called.

We both need our privacy. And judging by the gossip columns, living with you would be like living in a hotel—with supermodels from around the globe parading through your place.

That might actually traumatize me. Those women have more legs than I have total height. ”

“I don’t bring women to my home.”

“So where do you take them?” I ask, a mix of curiosity and secondhand embarrassment. It doesn’t make sense to have a huge place and never bring your girlfriend home.

“That’s none of your business, nosy.”

“It will be my business if I’m living there with you.”

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

I swallow hard and mentally slap myself. It’s not like I have a bunch of other options. Truth is, I have no clue how to buy a place, what steps to take, who to talk to.

Come to think of it, staying with him might actually be useful. I’ll learn how to run a household, how much to spend on groceries . . . basic things that any normal twenty-year-old would know—if they hadn’t been raised inside a bubble.

“All right. No more talking about your girlfriends. Although, for the record, I don’t get why you’d date someone you can’t even bring home.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion. Now listen: I’ll let you come stay with me—but my house, my rules. Just because you’re legally an adult doesn’t mean you can’t still get hurt. The world out here isn’t anything like your precious convent.”

“I haven’t been in a convent school in three years,” I point out.

“And what have you learned about life since then?”

“You know the answer. I went from one prison to another.”

“Which is exactly why I worry. I get that you need to start taking control of your life. Just don’t rush it. There’s no need.”

“I’ll try not to push too hard, but I really need you to trust me. I have to start somewhere, or I’ll never learn how to stand on my own.”

“Okay. I’ll help you through this new phase. But I’m not changing my mind—you’ll stay with me for now. Get used to going out, shopping, managing your bills. Then I’ll feel better about letting you go off on your own.”

“You think that’ll work? You live with Amos. And he didn’t seem very thrilled to meet me at Christmas.”

“It’s not personal—Amos isn’t thrilled to meet anyone. But that won’t be a problem. I’ll talk to him. When are you planning to come?”

“I . . . well . . . I already bought the ticket. I’ll be there in a few days.”

“Confident, huh?” I can hear the smile in his voice. “Ah, shit.”

“Hey, language. That’s vulgar.”

“Sorry, mademoiselle. Didn’t mean to offend your fancy Franco-Swiss sensibilities. It’s just . . . I’m flying out in seventy-two hours tops for work. I’ll be gone at least a month.”

“Oh . . .”

“Relax. It’ll be fine. Come anyway. Amos might not be the most social guy in the world, but he’s like a brother to me—and once he gets to know you, he’ll be one to you too.”

I doubt that.

“Besides, he can look after you while I’m gone.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Pick your battles, Lilly.”

“Fine. But please don’t make him look after me. I already feel awkward enough about staying there. I don’t need your friend hating me on top of it.”

“No one could hate you. You’re the sweetest girl in the world.”

“I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a grown woman, brother. It’s about time you accepted that.”

“Nope. You’ll always be my Pumpkin—even when you’re old and wrinkly.”

“I’ve got a long way to go before I hit the wrinkle phase, thank you very much,” I say, dryly, and he laughs. “It’s not funny. You want me to go straight from baby to granny. I plan to enjoy at least sixty years between those two stages.”

“Enjoy them wisely.”

Enjoy them wildly , I promise myself in silence. “I swear, you won’t regret letting me stay with you.”

“I’d be lying if I said I won’t worry, Lilly. But there’s no way I’m letting you live on your own without a test drive first.”

I don’t bother reminding him again that I need help, not permission. I know he means well. Ethan’s just like that—overprotective. It’s who he is.

Still, I won’t stop living my life just because he’s scared I’ll get hurt.