Page 28 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)

I just finished my first week of classes, and my head is bursting with ideas. More than ever, I’m sure I chose the perfect career. But something the professor said today—about how she believed it was important to specialize in a specific area of fashion—stirred up a lot of thoughts.

I reflected on her words and tried to remember how and when I first felt drawn to being a seamstress—which is what I thought the profession was called back then.

It started with making wedding dresses for my dolls.

I used to plan everything—even the outfit they’d wear on their honeymoon, even though I had no clue what that meant.

That’s what I’m going to specialize in. I want to create the most beautiful wedding dresses in the world and make that “I do” moment even more magical for someone lucky enough to be marrying the love of her life.

As I walk through the college hallway, I greet a few people, even though I don’t know them, trying my best to be friendly.

My plan to become super popular in this new Boston phase hasn’t really worked, since I can’t talk to strangers unless they speak to me first. The people here aren’t that different from the students in Paris, so I keep doing what I’ve always done: attend classes and head home right after.

It’s been almost fifteen days since Amos left, and in another two weeks, I think my brother will return from Africa. And then . . .what happens?

Is what we have strong enough for him to face Ethan? Because I have no doubt a storm is going to break over our heads when he finds out I’m in a relationship with his best friend.

Amos has been calling every night, but he never says where he is. I noticed his voice sounded tense last week, but I didn’t ask again whether what he’s doing is dangerous—because it would upset me if he shut me down again.

I don’t really understand the kind of work he and my brother do.

They have tons of employees, and it makes no sense that the two partners would have to travel at the same time for separate missions.

In fact, it doesn’t make sense for either of them to be personally involved.

And now I’m sure there are a lot of secrets tied to this security company.

Theo came back from L.A., and we’ve seen several apartments, but I’m incredibly indecisive—I just can’t choose one.

I sigh, thinking about the phone call I got from Nora earlier today. It was the first time she called me since I returned to the U.S. I’d tried reaching out to her twice before, but both times she didn’t answer—just replied with a short text.

Today, she finally decided to talk to me—but of course, she had an ulterior motive. The charity gala is happening in the middle of next week, and she wanted to remind me about it.

I don’t know what to do. I mentioned the event to Amos, but I’m not even sure if he remembers.

I want him to go with me—of course I do—but he hasn’t given me any clue about when he’s coming back.

So, I’ve decided to invite Theo to go with me instead.

I don’t want to be that clingy girl waiting around for her maybe-boyfriend.

I’ve lived twenty years without him. I’m not about to start putting my life on hold now just because he’s away.

Boyfriend.

Jesus, I don’t even know if that’s what we really are. But if it’s not dating, then what is it? Friends with benefits?

Ugh, no. If I get to choose, the title is boyfriend. I like things clearly labeled, just like a proper pattern. My insecurities can’t handle undefined territories.

Facing Nora and Ramon alone isn’t an option either, so if Amos doesn’t come back in time, I’ll go with Theo. If he does show up, then maybe we’ll all go together.

I shake my head and think about the dress Theo asked me to wear.

God, it’s so bold. Will I really go through with it?

It’s made of red silk with thin straps. The back is practically bare—cut low, almost down to the curve of my butt. It’s way more daring than anything I’ve worn to Nora’s parties before—and she’ll probably lose her mind over it.

The thought amuses me.

Even so, I don’t like showing too much of my body—especially since Ramon will be there.

Ever since I told Amos what happened, I’ve been trying hard to remember if I ever felt someone touching me during those terrifying nights I spent in their house.

I’m almost sure I didn’t. But then again, putting all the memories together—and remembering the look on Amos’s face when I told him—I can only conclude he suspects that the person entering my room wasn’t some ghost but Ramon.

What other reason would Amos have to insist I don’t go back to Nora’s house alone?

Still, I have no proof it was my stepfather, no concrete evidence—just the fact that I can’t stand being near him for long.

Regardless of the creepy vibe he gives me, Ramon is a deeply unpleasant man in general. His jokes always have some sexist tone, and I can’t say I feel any affection for him, even after five years of marriage to my mom.

It’s rare for me to dislike someone right off the bat. My default is to assume the best about people. Only in a few rare cases have I disliked someone at first meeting.

Ramon was one of those.

Even though he’s always impeccably dressed in expensive suits, not a hair out of place—there’s something disturbing about him I can’t quite explain. His smile, for example—it never reaches his eyes.

It always feels like he’s playing a part, like some actor in a play.

I think about Amos.

He rarely smiles, but when he does, you know it’s real. His entire face softens. That never happens with my stepfather.

I may not know much about life, but if I had to guess, I’d say Ramon is faking it. All the time.

“Lillyana?”

I stop walking and glance back, already annoyed because I hate my full name. It sounds so pretentious!

Yeah, but when it’s Amos who calls you that, you melt like chocolate, my inner voice mocks.

But as soon as I see who it is, I smile. “Benjamin?”

Ben is a childhood friend—son of one of my mom’s many acquaintances.

And when I say friend, I mean exactly that. He was always nice to me, and unlike the other kids, he talked to me even when I was hiding away.

“Are you studying here?” he asks, pulling me into a hug.

“Yeah. I got back less than a month ago.”

“No way! My mom didn’t say a thing!” He looks at me, clearly confused, and I get why. Our mothers are very close, so it would’ve been natural for Nora to mention I was back in the States. But apparently, she didn’t.

It shouldn’t hurt to realize that—but it does.

I’ll never understand how someone so clearly unfit for motherhood gets the blessing of bearing two children.

It’s like she locked Ethan and me away in a closet and shut the door.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says, maybe noticing my mood shift.

“You didn’t. It’s just Nora being Nora. I still have a way-too-sensitive heart.”

“It’s not a flaw to be sensitive, Lilly.”

“It is when you give your love to the wrong people. But I don’t want to talk about that anymore. How about lunch so we can catch up?”

Right then, I get a message from Amos saying he’s coming back today.

My heart races so hard I think I might pass out, but I try to keep a neutral expression so Ben won’t notice.

“Sure! Any place in mind?” he asks.

“Japanese food.”

After replying to the man who’s taken up so much of my mind, I text the bodyguards where I’m going.

“Want a ride?” Ben asks when we reach the parking lot.

“No, thanks. I have a driver.” I pull up the restaurant’s address on my phone and ask, “Still got the same number?”

“I don’t change. I’m practically a tree. Predictable and steady.”

I smile—that dry self-deprecating humor is one of the things I’ve always liked about him. Ben’s one of the wealthiest heirs in the country.

“I just sent you the restaurant address. See you in thirty,” I say, waving goodbye.