Page 42 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)

The hand holding mine trembles, but it doesn't let go. “Please, go on.”

“They took children for reasons beyond just offering them a home,” I say, unable to go into detail. “What you need to know is that on that trip, I was helping rescue other kidnapped children. Kids in situations similar to what I went through.”

I leave out the fact that it was the same group that once held me captive. I don't want Lilly trying to dig up anything about them, just in case something goes wrong when I catch them. The less she knows, the safer she’ll be.

“You came from an orphanage, if I understood correctly.”

“Yes. And some of those kids were supposedly adopted but then disappeared off the authorities’ radar. Others were snatched from streets, parks, with their families never hearing from them again.”

“Are you telling me there’s an organized group out there kidnapping children? I’ve heard on the news about some disgusting pedophiles kidnapping kids, but I never imagined something like a whole organization.”

“Yes, it exists. They even take orders. Just like you’d buy a pair of black or yellow shoes, they pick out their target.”

“Oh my God! But wait, you told me some kids were taken from parks, meaning they had parents!”

“Yes. Some only had parents on paper—neglected in reality. But not all of them came from dysfunctional homes.” I try not to show how hard it is for me to tell her this, how the memories are tearing me apart inside.

How can I let Lilly know everything? How can I reveal that I’m a killer who murders without remorse those I judge and condemn?

I don’t think someone like her could understand that killing monsters like Maria and Jonathan spares many kids from suffering. Taking them out saves countless lives from the same hell I endured. I’m not na?ve enough to think I’ll end all evil, but at least I’ll wipe out one part of it.

“You found them on that trip you took?”

“Yes. We rescued over a dozen. I can’t give you details, Lilly. First, because the operations are classified. And second, because I need to protect you. We’re not dealing with common criminals here. They’re a highly organized entity involving powerful people.”

“I understand. Thank you for trusting me. I’ll never speak about this to anyone. Just tell me—are the kids you saved okay?”

“Not all of them,” I say, remembering the little girl who died from poisoning. “But most of them will be.”

I hear my phone ringing on the counter and I know it’s Blood, so I get up to answer.

I listen carefully as he explains that the FBI agreed to move Bruno to another clinic and has increased security for him and the other rescued kids. But the doctors said there’s no way Bruno can be released to another foster home right now, not with his current physical and psychological state.

I order him to have our men guard the boy, because until we figure out what happened with the poisoning, as far as I’m concerned, everyone is a suspect.

After hanging up, I grip the phone tightly in my hand, making a decision I hope I won’t regret.

“You said you wanted to know more about my life? About who I am? Get dressed. I’m taking you to meet someone.”

Half an hour later, I’m nervous as hell while driving toward the clinic.

When he called, Blood said that Bruno refuses to eat unless I go see him.

The boy might not fully understand what happened at the previous clinic, or even notice that the other kids got sick, but he’s smart enough to sense something’s wrong, which must’ve left him feeling unsafe again.

I feel torn about showing Lilly this ugly side of life, but I chose to honor her request. If I want this thing between us to work, it’s not fair to keep her locked out entirely.

Besides, to protect her better, she needs to know what she’s getting into.

Yeah, because I have no doubt that the people I hunt already know who’s coming after them.

Maybe Maria and Jonathan haven’t connected the dots yet—that the person exposing and taking down their associates is the boy who was once their victim—but they probably know, given the recent arrests and rescued children, that they’re being hunted by professionals.

So if I’m not already on their radar, I soon will be. And since I’m keeping Lilly as my girlfriend, I’ll have to be twice as careful with her.

I think about what Blood said—that Bruno hasn’t eaten since I left and woke up screaming from nightmares all night.

A selfish part of me wishes I could close my eyes, pretend I’m a normal guy, and just spend the day in bed with her. But I can’t shake the image of that boy’s eyes—or the promise I made to him.

“Aren’t you going to ask where we’re going?”

She’s been quiet since we left the penthouse, but her hand lightly strokes my thigh as I drive.

I glance at her, and in the daylight, the contrast between us is even starker.

The sexy goddess I possessed all night is gone, and my beautiful girl—the only one who can calm my darkness—is back.

“I don’t need to know. I trust you. You said it’s connected to what you do?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s enough. For any part of your world you want to share, I’ll be ready.”

“You have no idea what you’re saying.”

“You’d never put me in danger, Amos. I’m not going anywhere. I want to be by your side. I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll let me.”

As I park the car, her words cut deep, and the trust Lilly gives me only ramps up my tension.

“We’re here,” I say.

“Okay.”

“We’re visiting a little boy. He’s not quite five. Bruno,” I finally reveal, watching her surprised expression.

“A child? I thought this had to do with your work. I mean, I didn’t think you got involved with the kids directly.”

“I don’t, but he’s special.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t tell you. Maybe because his temperament reminds me of mine at that age.”

“Why are you visiting today?”

“I promised to keep him safe, and he hasn’t been eating or sleeping. He wakes up with nightmares too.”

Her hand trembles on my leg, and even though she says nothing, I know she’s moved. “I get why you’re so angry at those cruel people. And why you want to bring them to justice.”

I don’t reply to that, because I’m no liar. So far, none of the pedophiles I’ve dealt with have made it to trial. They were eliminated—mercilessly.

“I should tell you—he’s not very sociable. He might not even speak to you.”

“That’s okay. I’m not going to force anything. I just want to meet him.”

“Why?”

“Because this is a part of your life you don’t share, and you’re sharing it with me now.”

“Don’t see me as a hero. I’m not a good person, Lillyana.”

“You told me back at the apartment that you could see me. Well, I see you too, Amos. No matter what you say, you’re not going to scare me off.”

“I’m not trying to scare you. I just don’t want you to be disillusioned.”

“I’m going to ask one more time: give me some credit.”

I look at her for a long moment before finally bringing the hand resting on my leg to my lips. “You have no idea who you’re getting involved with.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere. Don’t push me away.”

I hesitate for a few seconds, then release her and walk around to open her door.

“All right. Welcome to my world, Lilly,” I say with irony, because I can’t imagine anyone willingly choosing to be a part of my world.

I take her hand, and we walk into the building together.