Page 50

Chapter forty-eight

Forest

“S o it's a party?” Kai asks, his hands violently scrubbing away at his hair, doing his best to dry the mane on his head.

He steps away from our bathroom, dressed in a gray shirt and flannel paired together to push out the brisk cold. I wear a black sweater, my legs tucked away into a pair of gray cargo pants that make me look much taller than I am. Moving around his room, he thinks about the invitation to the bonfire, nudging his backpack free from beneath his dresser. Like me, he's abandoned the idea of utilizing it for just school work, carrying whatever he can to the Unfortunate sector in it instead.

“Think of it as a way for Hunter to show us another side of their sector.”

He eyes me down, rummaging through his belongings.

“And Hunter invited you? Not Fallan?” he questions, trying his best to figure out the dynamic between us.

“Hunter invited us. I think he cared more about you showing face than me,” I admit. Kai’s body goes rigid at the remark.

“I don't know why he would care,” Kai mumbles, shielding his face from me.

I tighten the sheath of my blade to my side, keeping it concealed under the sweater. These days, all I need is one blade. My mind's strength gives me enough advantage to do the rest.

“He cares because, for some reason, he thinks you're the better of the two of us,” I say sarcastically, nudging Kai with a smile.

He loosens up a little, finally looking at me with a lazy grin.

“Will there be booze?”

“How else would we get through the night?”

Walking along the ward, we occasionally brush shoulders. Kai keeps pace with me, deliberating something in his mind that’s taking all of his focus. If I wanted to, I could see all that troubles him with little effort, saving us both an awkward conversation. At times, it's tempting to walk the minds of those around me. I’ve been curious to see how much of their mind is by design. False memories have a haze. They are frayed around the edges when compared to the ones I find that are real.

Kai’s brows are furrowed in frustration. My hand is inches away from his. One touch and I’d have the direct connection I need to see it all.

“Who needs morals?” It questions, urging me to breach my brother's trust.

“Blackburns?” Xavier’s familiar voice echoes loudly down the street, both me and Kai stopping dead in our tracks.

We could play this off causally, explaining we were going for a walk, but we happen to be dressed like we’re about to break into someone's home. We both wear jackets with the hood pulled up over our heads. The masks covering our faces and necks to keep out the cold don’t help our case, either.

Turning on our heels, we face Xavier. His hand is resting at his side. He wears an Official winter uniform, the thick jacket and pants hugging his muscular frame. He cocks his head at the sight of us, looking back to our house, before snapping his eyes back to us.

“I was just going to return some things you left in my car,” Xavier says, holding out a few of Kai’s textbooks.

“What the hell are you guys doing out here?” Xavier asks. I can feel the awkwardness from our last interaction together hanging in the air between us. I hadn’t spoken to him since that night, unwilling and unsure of what to say to him to ease the tension I’d created between us.

Tucking the books away in his bag, he moves toward us. Both Kai and I take a step back.

“For fuck’s sake, is there a reason you’re both so jumpy?”

I moved my body in front of Kai when I noticed his hands started to shake.

Xavier observes us for a moment, noticing our outfits and the direction we’re headed. Concentrating on my abilities, I attempt to peer into his mind. I find my way in, but the only thing I see are glimpses of images that I don’t understand. Wherever his thoughts are, I can’t follow them completely. Slowly, he reaches up, touching my cheek in a sweet gesture.

“You should know by now you never have to fear me,” he whispers.

“One of us knows that,” It hisses. My body relaxes as I let go of the connection tethering me to Xavier’s mind.

Gradually, I move closer to him, letting his thumb roll over my cheek again. His touch is always gentle, and he looks at me with such care and concern. But I don’t fall into the depths of his kind eyes the same way I do with Fallan’s.

“You’re going to their sector… aren't you?” Xavier questions. He looks at Kai now.

Kai keeps his head lowered, unable to look at the man he’s been conditioned his whole life to respect and obey. The Order should be feared. And as an Official, we should fear Xavier.

“There's more to the Unfortunates than meets the eye,” I whisper, watching my words register with him.

He takes a deep breath, looking around the quiet neighborhood.

“I parked my car a good deal away from your house, so I had the time to deliberate whether or not to bug you,” he says, his kind nature so sweet that it hurts. “So it shouldn't be an issue.”

“What shouldn't?” Kai questions, finally raising his head.

Xavier reaches into his pocket, pulling out an Official mask. Drawing up the hood of his long coat, he looks down at me, squeezing my hand.

“Me joining the two of you, of course.”

We walk casually through the sector, finding it much easier to get through this time with Xavier’s presence. When we entered through the tear in the fence, Kai and I were fully prepared to think of a diversion that ultimately ended with us breaching security at the entrance. To our surprise, no one batted an eye when Xavier flashed his ID and forced the "Two Unfortunates apprehended for questioning,” through the front entrance. He held the back of my neck for what felt like forever, shouting angrily at Kai and me to move forward before finally breaking his facade as we rounded a corner and made our way down one of the many sidewalks. Gently, he rubs my neck, soothing the tension from his stern grip, apologizing several times.

“Pretty convincing at playing the whole authoritative asshole bit,” Kai says, applauding Xavier for his acting skills.

“I could say the same about you,” Xavier says, giving Kai a warm smile that I know was meant to piss him off.

Kai rolls his eyes, nudging the man with his shoulder.

Hunter’s bakery is filled with life. There are people of varying shapes and sizes in the shop, some conversing around the pastry counter with cups filled with warm piping liquid. Everyone around the space is smiling. A bonfire blazes. Long logs are set out for people to use as a seating area. The sky is filled with bright colors, pinks and purples, all painted by the setting sun. People welcome us with warm smiles as we pass. It's become almost second nature to clasp people's hands. Kai is still getting the hang of the gesture, unsure how long to linger before it’s weird. Xavier greets people with a broad smile, his charm oozing out of him.

“If I didn't know any better, I’d say you were an Unfortunate,” I say playfully, smiling up at him.

“Maybe then you'd like me more,” he whispers sarcastically, embarrassment sweeping across my cheeks.

I stop walking and place my hand gently on his arm.

“I’m not here for Fallan,” I whisper, his head slightly lowering to get a better look at me.

“Prove it,” Xavier whispers.

“Happily,” It chimes out for me unexpectedly.

“Shut it!” I yell back, looking away from him as I speak.

“Did I say too much-”

“I wasn't talking to you,” I blurt out. His eyes grew wide for a moment before his face slipped back into an easy disposition.

The bell of the bakery door tinkles as a familiar face emerges.

“I was wondering if you were going to show,” Hunter says, smiling as he moves closer to us.

With no warning, I am wrapped up in a hug, feeling him squeeze with all he has. He cups my face with two hands before glancing behind me with a hateful stare toward Xavier.

“You brought the guard dog,” Hunter mutters, his words slightly slurred.

“And you brought a lack of consent,” Xavier lets out, motioning to his hands plastered on my face.

“Is that the best you've got?” Hunter pushes, finally looking over at Kai. Dropping his hands, he moves past me, getting a better look at Xavier and his cocky smile.

“I have no interest in the woman you’re holding over my friend like she's some trophy,” Hunter says. Xavier’s eyes narrow at his comment, his posture stiffening.

I clear my throat.

“What is he talking about?” I question, watching Xavier keep his eyes on Hunter.

“Why don't you tell her,” Hunter says, nudging him. “Might be easier once everything’s out in the open.” Hunter moves away from Xavier and closer to Kai.

I take Hunter’s spot in front of Xavier, looking over the man curiously. He crosses his arms as he avoids my gaze. My hand finally reaches up to grab his chin. He doesn’t resist me but hesitates before moving his eyes back to mine.

“I might have threatened Hunter and Fallan when I was here with your father… it's how I got the necklace back,” Xavier mutters, my hand dropping to my side at his response.

Without warning, I grab his entire face this time, pulling his head close to mine. His hands clutch my sides as I enter his mind, breaching his mental wall easily. I think of his words, reflecting on that day Fallan and Hunter had received the visit from my father. I see the memory from his perspective, hovering my lips above his while I dig for more. His grasp on me tightens, and the memory becomes clearer as Xavier’s threats toward them that day fill my head. Biting my cheek, his lips nearly touch mine. The memory is now fully formed. He looks bewildered, doing his best to stop our lips from touching in front of everyone here.

Pulling away, I get what I need, letting him keep his hands on me.

“So now I’m something you feel like you have jurisdiction over?” I don’t need to be connected to his mind to know he’s ashamed.

Kai and Hunter watch the exchange through stolen glances, quietly whispering, keeping to themselves.

"No, that’s not it,” Xavier begins, his thumb trailing over my upper stomach. “Tell me right now that you have no feelings for me, and I'll stop. If you tell me right now it's impossible for you to care for me, I'll walk away,” Xavier pushes, the chatter of people around us growing louder as they enjoy the party.

I open my mouth, ready to say something to push him away.

But It speaks for me.

And I want it to.

“I can't tell you there’s nothing here,” I finally settle on saying, feeling it coax me to continue. “And I can't tell you there isn't some part of you that scares me,” I finish, waiting to see how he’ll react to the truth.

“I wish there was-”

He abruptly stops speaking, his eyes closing in annoyance. Grunting angrily, he touches his throat, shaking his head in frustration.

“I won’t ever hurt you, Forest,” he finally says., my head slowly nodding to let him know that I believe him.

“I know,” I say with complete trust, unsure why I can no longer bear being near him.

My head explodes into a vortex of thought, his shields and mine crashing down, all of his emotions hitting me like a landslide. Turning my head, Fallan’s blue eyes meet mine before eyeing down Xavier. Xavier’s hands fall from my sides. Valerie trails behind Fallan, her tiny body fitted into a lovely blue dress that is perfect for tonight. She really is gorgeous. Hunter drags Kai closer to the bonfire, urging my brother to drink from his cup, patting him on the back in encouragement. Fallan moves closer to us, crossing his arms as he continues to stare at Xavier.

“I wasn't expecting you to be here,” Fallan says to Xavier, both men completely rigid. I look at Valerie, half expecting her to egg it on. Instead, she watches me, her hands fidgeting with one another.

“Yet, here I am,” Xavier says, touching my lower back. Glancing down at his arm, I don’t know how to react. I give Fallan an apologetic look, unsure at what point Xavier had gotten his hands back on me.

“I think there are plenty of your Official asshole friends surrounding the perimeter if you want to go see them,” Fallan says.

“What's the fun in that?” Xavier questions, his hand moving around to trail down my side. He’s trying to prove he can have me.

That I’m his.

A message to Fallan.

“Can I get you a drink?” Valerie questions toward me, finally breaking her silence.

I look at her arm, feeling a pit grow in my stomach at the tension the men have created. Looping my arm around hers, I quickly nod, feeling my anxiety fade as we escape them. Aaron stands behind a table serving drinks, his eyes growing wide at the sight of me and Valerie together. With a wide grin, he pours two drinks, motioning Kai and Hunter closer, leaving Xavier and Fallan to bicker quietly.

“I figured you wanted out of that,” Valerie says with complete honesty, her perfect skin and beautifully wide eyes illuminated in this lighting.

“Thank you,” I whisper, squeezing her arm with genuine gratitude.

“I never thought I'd see the day Valerie wasn't plotting your demise,” Aaron says, pushing the drinks closer to us across the counter.

Picking it up, I sniff the contents of the cup, and I’m immediately ready to set it back down. Before I can put the cup back on the counter and ask for something else, Aaron pushes the cup to my lips, forcing the sweet amber liquid into my mouth and down my throat. Hunter does the same thing to Kai as a searing warmth spreads through my stomach.

“Fuck! That's so much stronger than our stuff,” Kai says, slamming the cup on the table for a refill.

Xavier and Fallan end their conversation, both scowling. Grabbing a woman's arm from the crowd, Fallan pulls her along with him, whispering gently in her ear, pressing his lips to the soft part of her neck. Dropping my cup, I eye them with utter disbelief, watching Valerie follow my eyesight, her mouth settling into a displeased frown.

“Looks like we are having one of those nights,” Valerie says, shaking her head as she extends her arm for seconds.

The woman is young and pretty. She is already giddy from alcohol, allowing Fallan to dance with her as my heart burns with jealousy. Slamming my hands on the walls of his mind, I scream at him through the bond.

“Looks like your blonde friend told Fallan again that he can’t have something he wants,” Valerie says, pressing her hand into her hip as she speaks. “This is his way of getting to both of you.”

“Fine. I can play that game, too,” I mutter to her. I watch as her features shift into a feral kind of delight.

Xavier finally makes his way back to us. Hunter quickly shoves a cup into his hand. Unlike the rest of us, Xavier quickly drinks it with no issues, giving Fallan one last look before turning to me. Aaron tops off my cup to the brim. Throwing back the drink, my hand drops the cup when I’m done, instantly reaching for Xavier and pulling him closer to the music.

“What are we doing?” he questions. The effects of the alcohol are already setting in, making me bolder than usual.

I yank my sweater up and pull it free from my body, revealing a sheer gray compression shirt. It’s almost see-through, with a soft shimmer that catches the light. My lace bra is visible underneath, showing more of my chest than I’m used to. Keeping my hair down and in its waves, I toss the sweater on a log, eyeing Xavier like an animal.

“You want me, Xavier?” I say without thinking, watching his pupils dilate.

All he can do is look at me.

“Prove it,” I say with a grin, throwing his words back at him.

Grabbing my waist, he pulls me flush against him. My arms wrap around his neck, and I drag him down and into me. Hungrily, his lips find my neck, causing my breath to hitch as my chin buries deep into his shoulder. My eyes find Fallan’s angry stare. He is no longer focused on the woman I saw him with earlier. His hands clench his cup, now spilling over with liquid.

“Is this all a show?” Xavier questions, his voice brushing over my ear.

“It would be so much easier if everything was just a show,” It says, speaking for me.

“Why did you say that?” I question, feeling unsure of my words.

“The two sides of you come with more than just an extra voice in your head,” It hisses, my mind drawing blanks.

He presses his head against my own, grabbing the back of my thigh, ready to pull me onto him.

“What's my name, Forest?” he questions, my mouth ready to taste his.

“Xavier. Xavier Hayes,” I say, his head gently shaking.

“Try again…. What's my name?” he asks again, my mind drawing nothing but blanks.

“Your name's Xavier,” I whisper, unsure what he wants me to say.

With a saddened expression, he pulls away, his hands slowly loosening their grasp.

“Tonight was just for him. Wasn't it?” Xavier questions, the mood between us shifting instantly.

I pause, my heart filled with emotions. Fallan moves away from the woman and the campfire's light.

I look at Xavier, and there’s that part of me that wants nothing but him. It eats me alive, a conviction I feel I have no control over.

“I have no idea what's happening to me,'' I whisper, my hand touching my chest.

“What did the two of you talk about?” I question, his head nodding.

“We-” he stops, biting his lip out of frustration.

“Do you trust me?” he questions, unable to give me a straight answer to my question.

I’m ready to say no and run away from all of this.

“Yes,” I say, my throat burning with the need to scream. “And I have no idea why.”

Kai and Hunter join us in a fit of laughter, both men clapping Xavier on the back.

“Your cups are empty!” Kai gasps, managing to get a smile from Xavier.

I look to the alleyway Fallan had disappeared into, sensing the walls in his mind slowly breaking away.

“I need a moment,” I say, backing away from Xavier, giving him no time to react as my brother and Hunter hang onto him, shoving another drink in his hand.

Moving past the other party guests, I disappear into the mess of the crowd. Moving towards the alleyway, the connection to Fallan grows stronger as I approach. Xavier’s words cloud my mind. His meaning is lost to me.

But slowly, all thoughts of Xavier leave me, my eyes set on the pair of blue ones that watch me now.

Fallan’s mind is filled with nothing but thoughts of me.