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Chapter twenty-eight

Forest

“I ’m struggling to understand your insatiable need to find a way to speak to their kind constantly,” Kai says, doing his best to stay quiet as several passing patrons give my untidy outfit side glances.

I keep moving forward, ignoring his badgering. It’s only been a few minutes since we decided to leave Hunter and Aaron, leaving my brother with more questions than answers, only growing his confusion.

Quickly, I ran into one of the shops, grabbing the first sketchbook I could find and paying abruptly before the shopkeeper had time to make small talk.

“Hunter was at the screening,” I finally say, doing my best to make the interaction seem as casual as it felt in my mind. “I didn’t see you complaining too much when he was talking to you earlier,” I hiss, watching his face grow flustered at the comment.

“His conversation skills were more tolerable than some of our peers at the Academy. I was simply curious about him,” Kai says, trying to keep any emotional value away from the conversation.

“And he was kind. You forgot to mention that part.”

“You mentioned that Unfortunate boy to Hunter. The one I always see lurking near you… Fallan? Why is it that more often than not, I see him around you?” Kai questions, only furthering the same line of thinking I have yet to allow myself to explore.

“Fallan helped me out of some shitty situations, even when I didn't deserve it,” I say quietly.

We continue walking, pausing once we reach a blind corner. My brother grabs my arm, pulling me behind the corner, making sure to scan the area for anyone familiar. He presses his finger to my lips, stopping me from getting a single word out.

“Are you and Fallan just… acquaintances?” Kai questions.

My face immediately grows hot, reflecting on what happened on the deck last night and the memory of Josh’s party. I took a real risk asking Hunter why Fallan took the necklace from that night back. Who knows if he even remembers that night or if it’s all just a delusion of my own mind’s making? I’m sure Fallan has no clue what the question even means. Jewelry is worth money in their sector, and, whether I like it or not, Fallan is still one of them.

“What are you trying to ask me?” I question, pushing him to say the words out loud.

“You know what I’m trying to ask, Forest. Please, tell me you haven't gotten yourself involved with an Unfortunate,” he says, enunciating his words to get his point across.

People continue passing the street corner, too invested in their conversations to focus on our bickering.

“At the end of the day, Kai, Fallan doesn’t want anything to do with me. He hates me.”

Justifiable hate.

“Whatever you think is going on between us is not anything that pleases me. Every time he looks at me, all I can see is anger in his eyes. So no, nothing is happening between us because if that were the case, he would be able to look at me for more than five seconds and not be disgusted,” I say, letting the pain in those looks he gives register within me.

Kai pauses, closing his eyes to guide his thoughts.

“And when you turn away from him?” Kai questions, keeping his eyes closed while he speaks. “What do you think is painted on his face then?

“I don’t know,” I admit, reflecting on Fallan’s hands exploring my body, seeming to know exactly where to hold me.

“I do,” Kai says, finally opening his eyes to look at me. “I have never seen someone look so tormented in the fleeting moments between when you look at him and turn away. It’s a look that has haunted my mind for days. It's the only reason I haven’t reported any of this,” Kai says, pointing a finger at me.

“What's the only reason, Kai?” I push, moving myself away from the wall to look closer at my brother.

“That look, Forest. That look I saw on his face is the same look you have given me since that day at the screening,” Kai says, forcing my heartbeat to pick up at the mention of the blood-filled event.

“What look do you mean?” I question, hearing the plea in my voice.

“A look of someone who knows too much and has lost more than you know,” Kai says, making a lump form in my throat. “There is something you aren't telling me, Forest, and it all leads back to that night. Whether I like it or not, the answers I need include those two Unfortunates,” Kai continues, my fears of his chip’s sudden activation only growing.

The slight scuff of feet dragging across the ground is more than enough to make us pause our conversation; turning on our heels in unison, we watch people stop in their tracks as a set of Officials, Adam and Xavier, barge right toward us. Xavier looks hesitant, glancing at Adam sternly like he’s preparing for him to lash out. Kai begins to position himself in front of me. This is the first time I’ve seen Xavier since our interaction at the hospital, yet having Adam with him makes things much more uncomfortable.

The two men pause before us, Adam crossing his arms in annoyance.

“Is there a problem?” Kai questions more sarcastically than normal, crossing his arms in a mimic as he peers at the two men.

“Your father said that he wants you home. It would seem one of you is not supposed to be running around,” Adam says, leaning over to get a better look at my angry scowl behind Kai.

“He didn't tell either of us why he needed you, actually,” Xavier says, ignoring the glare of his companion.

I finally step away from my brother to face Xavier fully. Smiling gently at him, I feel that familiar sense of security from being near him. Regardless, I still need to try and warn Fallan that they’re here. I don’t know if their presence is related to what happened last night, but if it is, he needs to lie low.

“Something is going on. My father is sending Officials out to drag us home,” I say, feeling a slight tremor in my closed hand.

There are several silent moments as I walk behind Adam's rigid figure. He waves towards one of the many Official vehicles. I walk next to Xavier, feeling our fingers brush. He looks at me with worry, unsure what to do or say.

“How many of them?” Fallan finally responds, and I let out the breath I hadn’t noticed I'd been holding in.

I still don’t understand how we can talk to each other like this.

“Two. Xavier and Adam.”

I feel a wave of nausea at the mention of both men's names, unsure of how it reached me in the first place.

“Was that feeling you just then?” I question.

“I can't say I’m fond of either man. This isn’t the situation I hoped to wake up to,” he says, making me gently smile. I hear the sleep in his voice. He must have one hell of a hangover.

“Do you think they plan on questioning us… about last night?” I say, feeling a wave of worry pass over me.

“We didn’t end up going through with the heist, I doubt they even saw-”

“Us. I don't mean Aaron and you, Fallan. I mean us!” I shout in my mind, finally allowing myself to address the elephant in the room. A deep-rooted sense of fear washes over me. It starts in my chest, working through my fingertips, only to end in the form of shaking through my body.

“Are you cold?” Xavier questions, touching my lower back. I try to shake away the fear in my body, feeling every bone inside of me rattle.

“Fallan?” I question, only giving Xavier a nod as Adam shoves my brother into the back of his car.

Xavier scowls at the man, moving me along more gently as he urges me to get in the back with Kai. I oblige, sliding in next to my brother. Our knees touch. We huddle together in the back seat, unsure of what will come.

“What did you do to your chip?” Fallan questions, any sound of playfulness void from his voice.

“You said it would kill me, and it didn't-”

“What did you do, Forest?!” Fallan yells, his voice breaking with emotion. My mind rattles at the question, and my throat grows dry.

“I set myself free,” I whisper, feeling that pain again. “Why did you lie to me?” I push.

Xavier looks back from the passenger seat, giving me another easing smile. All I can do is close my eyes, ignoring Adam's backward looks at my brother's angry demeanor in the rearview mirror.

“You did more than rid yourself of the chip,” he whispers, his voice barely recognizable under the cloud of emotion. “You did the one thing that will ensure I don't stay away this time,” he whispers.

This time?

“Fallan, none of that makes sense,” I say, feeling my anxiety heighten the longer I am near Adam and the gun strapped to his side.

"I need to get to your sector,” he says, making my worries grow. “Whatever you do, avoid a Re-Regulation Device. They will be able to see you have no chip. Once they know that, you’re their biggest threat,” Fallan says. My hands tap my legs in nervous jolts.

“Tell me why you know so much, and I know so little,” I prod, seeing the outline of my neighborhood come into perspective. Several moments pass before he answers softly.

“They wanted to torture me, Forest, not you. You were the one way they could do that…. Someone else is trying to take up space in your mind. I have felt it for days-”

I feel my heart pain at his response, filled with more questions than answers. Fallan’s voice is cut off, replaced by a pressure behind my eyes. The car rolls to a stop, both Officials receiving a stream of texts, no doubt from my father. Xavier moves to open my door, giving Adam a nasty look as he pulls my brother free from the car. I feel a wave of emotions work through me, each more confusing than the next.

I hadn't realized I’d grabbed Xavier's hand, walking in mindless thought toward my front door. He didn't stop me, allowing me to cling to his hand with a shaky grasp.

“Is something going on?” Xavier questions, quickly asking the question with worry. Adam nudges my brother forward, watching him stumble.

“What the hell is your problem?” Kai yells, swinging back at Adam, nearly hitting his face.

Xavier grabs my brother's fist, giving him an apologetic look in hopes of calming him down. I watch my brother's anger die down. Adam laughs in his face, taunting him.

“Fallan?” I question, feeling an unusual silence in the presence of something lingering at the back door of my mind.

“Adam, go wait in the car,'' Xavier says, lowering my brother's hand. His companion scoffs.

“Boy, you know-”

Xavier’s hands are around Adam’s collar within the blink of an eye, shoving the man back so hard into the house he almost falls to the ground. I watch Xavier pin the man against the wall, quickly putting him in a position with no easy way out.

“What the hell is going on?” my father’s voice booms.

He stands in the doorway, watching the scene unfold before him. My brother and I both give him a look, taking a step back with Xavier, all of us watching Adam slump to the ground.

“He was being rough with your children,” Xavier lets out, having no regrets in his actions against his superior.

My father pinches the bridge of his nose, finally forcing his gaze toward me. His hand reaches for me, grabbing my collar to pull me closer to him. Xavier almost reaches for me first, quickly deciding not to the minute he sees the anger on my father’s face. Kai grabs my free arm, stopping my father from being able to pull me any further.

"This doesn't involve you, Kaiden,” my father hisses, using my brother's full name, while he continues pulling.

“Whatever you have to say to her, you can say to me too,” Kai begins.

My father gives Xavier and Adam a look. Xavier looks hesitant, clenching his jaw in anger as he pries my brother's hand away from my arm, promptly shoving him back and into Adam. They both prevent Kai from following us. My head snaps to my father, giving Kai one last look of worry before feeling my legs force themselves into unison with my father’s steps. My body drags across the floor, eventually being tossed into my father’s study.

He slams the door, giving me a look of irritation. I pound my fists on its wood, ready to yell out for my mother. His hand is on my shoulder, squeezing tightly while guiding me down and into the nearest chair. He applies as much pressure as he can, keeping his weight down on me to keep me within his grasp. I thrash my shoulders, looking up at him with anger.

“Get the fuck off of me!” I yell, unsure of how willing I am to act on the energy surging through me.

“Do you have any idea what you've done? What you've made me do?” my father questions in a low tone. His computer screen is flipped away, shielding whatever paints his screen in bright light.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about-”

“Stop lying!” my father yells, grabbing my face in his hand with a clutch so tight my skin is surely bruised. I feel the scrape of a presence in my headspace, urging me to fight back.

“How long have you been around him? How long has it been since he found you?” my father questions.

My stomach drops.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I question, nudging my body forward to get out of his grasp.

He shoves my face away, easing the tension in my jaw. Angrily, he moves to his computer screen, flipping around the monitor to show me the one visual I had hoped he wouldn't. It's distant but clear enough to make out who it is. Fallan’s hands are all over me, holding me up and against him, still managing to fill me with an incurable need to be near him, even from a digitized state.

My father’s eyes are wide between glances at me and the monitor. I slowly rise to my feet, watching him switch the screen from that night on the deck to earlier today behind the shops, all of my severe violations on display like glaring red flags.

“Do you sympathize with the scum now?” my father questions, minimizing the tab that dissolves itself into a file labeled “ Project X.” There are multiple files with different dates, most dated over the last two years.

“It was a slip-up,” I start, doing my best to justify my actions. “And it wasn't his choice. I forced it onto him.” I continue.

“I tried to keep him safe,'' my father says, running his hand along his mouth in a frustrated tick. “I told Joshua I would keep him safe and told myself each time I input code for the two of you that it would be different,” my father continues, fidgeting at his desk, finishing off what's left of the glass of scotch. “Every time, I think it's different, but we always end up back here,” he continues, pulling out the one thing that ruins it all.

A Re-Regulation Device.

“Who's Joshua?” I question with a wobble in my tone, feeling my fears rise as my father switches on the device.

“Fallan’s father," he begins, looking up at me with sorrow. “My best friend,” he continues, drawing more blanks in my mind as I try to recall us being around anyone named Joshua growing up.

“Your mother said you would forget Fallan so long as you never found your connection with him. We thought making you hate him would be enough this time. Hours in her medical clinic, utilizing the full extent of your chip’s capabilities to lock away those memories, all of which are reduced to a few files on a computer. Why couldn't you just leave it all alone?” he says, glancing at the screen.

“What are you doing, Dad?” I question, stepping back as he raises the device toward me.

“Any world in which you believe he is alive won't work. I can't protect him, or you if I let your connection grow. Each day, you seem to get closer to a reality I cannot protect you from. An hour in your mother’s clinic, and we can properly ensure you get the help you need to save you both,” he continues.

I back into the study's door, jiggling the lock that won't budge. My father stands before me, pressing the device to the side of my head. I stare him down. His brows are furrowed in frustration as he waits for the blinking light, indicating the connection to my chip that will never come because of what I did.

“Why? Why make me forget him?” I question shakily, watching his eyes pass over my own with despair.

“You wake a sleeping giant within one another, a giant that they will come looking for,” my father says, the smell of alcohol brushing against my nose. “If they find you, I’ll have failed you both,” he says, my throat burning with fear.

“Who are 'they' Dad?” I question, unsure if I want the response.

“They won’t find you,” he says. His words roll off his tongue with ease.

“ No chips matching, Forest Blackburn ,” the device announces robotically.

My dad’s eyes fly up to me, touching the space behind my ear with wide eyes. I take the moment of his confusion to shove him away, forcing my back against the door and using my legs to get him as far away from me as possible. He drops the device, letting it hit the floor with a thud. My hand encloses around the small device, shakily looking over its confusing screen, seeing the broad list of chips nearby. I see Kai and Adam quickly deleting my brother's name from the list of favorites. I point the device at my father, watching his name pop up on the screen. His chip blinks slowly as it begins to pair. He rises to his feet, holding his hands up in surrender.

“You removed your chip?” he questions, his voice shaky.

“I removed their poison,” I correct him, lowering my eyes at him in anger.

“H-how are you not dead?" my father questions, his eyes seem hopeful I have an answer.

“Maybe I didn’t do it alone,” I say, reflecting on the Shifter from last night, urging me to set myself free.

I click my father’s name, watching the worry pass over his face. I see the code now, waiting for me to type my first command.

“If you make me forget this, Forest, there is no guarantee I can protect you. The Marked-” he begins, I cut him off.

“The Marked are not the threat,” I whisper, typing in my commands.

“I know,” my father begins, undoing the buttons on his arms as he begins to work on moving up his sleeves.

Forget the footage you’ve seen of your daughter and Fallan Markswood. Delete all evidence and do not investigate what happened.

I type in, watching him move in my peripheral.

“The Marked roam among us in plain sight,” my father says shakily, trying to pull me away from my focus.

“Me included,” he whispers.

My head snaps up, almost dropping the device once he holds his wrist up for me to see. A mark as clear as day coats his skin, the same mark that paints my upper hip. I feel my hand lower the device to my side, my mouth hanging open. A flood of questions begins to enter my mind, ready to make me implode.

“Your mother and I thought we could protect your secret,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut as he speaks. “We thought we could protect you from him,” he finishes, making a thought pass over my mind.

“Who’s him? Fallan?” I question, feeling nauseous once he shakes his head no.

“There's so much you don’t know-”

“Will you keep coming after them?” I cut him off, watching his brows drop, “Will you keep coming after Fallan and all of the other innocent Marked and Unfortunates?” I question, watching his frown drop.

“It's not my call-”

“Will you?” I question again, feeling my emotions threaten to explode from me.

He pauses, both of us aware of an answer neither wants to say out loud.

“I don't have a choice,” he begins, looking utterly broken.

I slowly nod my head, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

“Then neither do I,” I whisper, hitting the device’s screen, watching him clutch his head, surging toward me. His hand grabs my wrist, forcing it down and onto the side table as he shoves away the device. I make eye contact with him, watching his chip blink in the same fashion mine had.

“That does not work as easily on us,” he says, grasping tightly around my wrist. I writhe away, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror closest to us. I half expect to see my flailing figure wrestling with my father, only to be startled by the image of myself standing still, watching me with a taunting gaze and unnerving smile.

“Well, if that won't work, I guess you'll just have to do it yourself,” my own voice taunts me. The mouth of my reflection in the mirror moves as mine stays still.

For reasons beyond my knowledge, I raise my hands to the sides of my dad’s head, grasping his temples once my back collides with the floor. I drag him down with me, feeling a surge of energy work through me as I visualize every incriminating thought he could have of me and Fallan being pulled away from his mind. His eyes close while he takes in a sharp breath. My palms feel hot and full of energy. I take in the space around me, glancing back at the mirror, which now reflects real-time.

“Forget all the treason you have seen. As far as you know, Fallan is harmless and nothing has changed,” I whisper, feeling my emotions well at the sight before me. I pull my lips closer to my dad’s ear, watching his motionless face absorb my commands.

“I'm sorry, Dad. Please, rest once I let you go, and don't wake up until I leave,” I mutter, feeling his body become slack as his energy leaves him. Slowly, I lean him into the nearest chair, forcing myself up and away from him as I take several sharp breaths. I make my way to the mirror to confront the looming presence that’s suffocating the space.

“Who are you?” I question in a slow gulp, leaning my head against the mirror and shutting my eyes afraid of what I'll find.

“I’m you,” it says, running its finger along the other side of the glass. “ More specifically, the part of you that chip was hiding,” it says, giving me a sideways look.

“Why hide you?” I question.

“ Oh, honey,” it says, giving me a wink. “It's so easy for them to call the better parts of our strength 'hallucinations.’ Makes it less real for them.”

My eyes open, leaving me in the middle of my father’s study. His body sleeps peacefully, still in the same position I had left him. The image in the mirror is normal, no longer jaded by a perception of myself that brings me unease. I look back at the file on my father’s computer, sliding into his seat as I rummage through his desk for a hard drive. I rapidly copy all the files, letting each upload to the small memory saver, glancing at the door every few seconds. Each file loads quickly, only to be removed from the computer moments later. I quickly scan each video, feeling increasingly uneasy each time I see Fallan and my face in the files. In some videos, we are speaking to one another. In others, we are separate. Years of our lives are in these files, some events more painful than the next. The dates were years ago. All moments void from my mind, and possibly his. My eyes land on the oldest file, fumbling to read its title.

“Forest/Fallan Expulsion Test,” I whisper, dragging the file to the hard drive and letting the cursor hover over the video.

Hesitantly, I ready myself to move it to the trash, wanting nothing more than to leave this space. I look back at my dad, tapping my fingers against his large desk.

“I need to remember,” I whisper, pulling myself away from the desk and deleting the last file before taking the hard drive. I move toward the door, passing my taunting reflection once more, stopping in my tracks.

“If you want answers, then we'd better start from the beginning,” the other me taunts, pressing its hand to the glass, watching me shove the hard drive deep into my pocket.

I glance at its hand, unsure of my best move.

“I don't bite. After all, I am you,” it whispers, motioning for me to touch the glass.

I stare at my eyes in the mirror, silently cursing, before pressing my palm into the glass, letting the shockwave of memories flood into me.