Page 10

Chapter eight

Forest

T he rest of the ride home was uneventful, filled with nothing but quiet gossip and multiple stares in my group's direction. My comforting lean into Max quickly turned into sleep I wasn’t aware I needed. Twenty minutes later, we arrived at our usual stop, and I was ready to get off and leave the events of the day far behind. I quickly work my way off the tram, making sure to be the first one off to avoid Colton and Josh. Whatever Kai had said to them managed to silence both of them. Even when they walked past me, they remained quiet, getting off without so much as a look in my direction. The twins and my brother were next, all drawing in sighs of relief. I expect the tram to leave, but it lingers.

“I can break curfew, kid, don’t-”

“Let it be, Mark,” Fallan’s familiar voice demands. He is speaking to the driver, trying to wave away his worries. Fallan exits the tram with a few Untouchables, leaving Valerie to watch him from the window with a longing look. Mark hesitantly closes the tram doors, pausing before starting the vehicle and continuing his route. Fallan casually continues his walk away from the stop. You'd think he’s an Untouchable if you didn’t know better.

“Your sector is across town. No dirty Unfortunates allowed in our neighborhood,” Max says, moving ahead of the group. Fallan continues his walk forward, ignoring Max and keeping his back toward us all.

“Let it go, Maxey,” Raegan says, utilizing one of his least favorite nicknames.

“An Official will drive by and eventually deal with him,” Kai adds, only adding to my list of questions about why Fallan would want to get off at this stop. He was here this morning, but I assumed that an Official dealing with transfers was the cause of that. Maybe I was wrong.

“Fallan!” I yell, watching his body pause at my use of his name for the first time. His shoulders tense. Even though his hands are concealed within his pockets, I know he’s balling his fists. “What are you doing here again?” I continue, watching his head turn backward to look at me. His mouth opens as if he’s going to answer. Quickly, it closes, dropping into its familiar frown. He continues moving forward, giving us all nothing but silence.

“How did you know his name?” Kai questions. Rae is quick to answer.

“We have art with him, don’t start deep diving into it.”

Max moves forward, his rage spilling free from him. He grasps his blade, filled with a sudden need for violence. I press my hand to his chest, stopping his march toward Fallan. I think of the vial. As long as he has that Cure-All, I have to play nice.

“I think we've dealt with enough today,” I plead, feeling his body relax the longer he watches me.

“Maybe you’re right, Blackburn,” he pauses, turning toward our regular route home, “If I’m ever paired with him in Defense Class, I’ll paint the mat with him,” Max finishes, guiding us away from the tram and closer to the normalcy of home.

My father's voice carries through the hallways, bouncing from wall to wall in angry shouts. The house's touch panel at the entrance confirms our presence, lighting green with a tap of our IDs. My mother and father's pictures are checked off, both home hours before us. My mother's figure is nowhere to be seen in the low-lit living area. More than one voice joins in with my father's shouts. The unfamiliar voice says my father's name repeatedly to calm him down. The wall closest to us shakes with a thud. I hear the men's volume grow, with words like “deviants” and “un-orderly” finding their way under the door of my father's study. My mom's office door is shut. The small golden light of her lamp coats the floor. The twins tap their IDs on our touch panel, sending a signal back to their own house with their current whereabouts.

I motion Rae to follow me, lingering by my father’s now silent study. My body leans toward the door, pressing my ear to its cool surface, trying my best to decipher the hushed whispers of the men behind it.

“If they wanted us to hear it, the door would be open,” Kai whispers, pulling me away from the door and guiding me closer to my room by my elbows. I stumble into the perfectly laid-out room, turning to hurl a whirlwind of curses toward my older brother. He moves Rae into my bedroom with me, while Max stands next to my brother, shaking his head with his signature smile plastered on his face. His own bedroom door closes just in time to silence me. I let the hateful words fade away, deciding maybe a closed door is best for everyone right now. Raegan hurls her body on my bed, looking up at my ceiling. Her blonde hair surrounds her head like a halo. Her natural beauty can catch me off guard even after all these years.

“Give me a good reason not to grab his curls and pin him down on the floor,” I hiss, joining her on my bed. My back hits the soft sheets, my hands dragging across my tired eyes.

“Because he only wants what's best for you.” She props herself on her elbow, turning her body to face me. “And you haven't been the most cooperative today … is something going on, Forest?” she questions.

I long for an answer to give her. I want to say I am okay. I want to tell her I hate the hybrid program and am unsettled by the Unfortunate's presence. I want to laugh at their pain with her and throw away all my corrupt thoughts that seem to spill into my mind each time I am alone.

But I can't.

“If I tell you something … can you promise me it stays between us?” I question, pulling myself back up into a seated position. Her interest is peaked. Her body readjusts to get a better look at my worried expression.

“You should know by now you can tell me anything. I still haven't told Kai who is responsible for his broken blade hilt.”

The vivid image of me tossing his weapon against a wall after one of our arguments passes through my thoughts.

I shake away the image, looking at the clock on my nightstand. Its camera blinks, watching over the room and all who inhabit it. I move closer to the device, pulling its cord away from the wall, timing the five minutes I have on Raegan’s watch until it alerts either of my parents of its deactivation. I cover her mouth, giving her no time to try and question my actions. There isn't enough time for her to start hitting me with her line of questioning.

“You know the two transfers on the tram today?” I question, still feeling the presence of the note in my front pocket. She nods, pulling away my hand from her mouth.

“Yes, Fallan ,” she says his name as if it's poison on her tongue. “He spent a great deal of that ride glancing over at you as angrily as Josh and Colton had,” Raegan whispers, side-eying the clock lying face down.

“Why did you unplug-”

“I saw them take contraband from the sector. The girl he’s been cozy with all day somehow got a light sensor prod and gave it to him. The 'deviants' my dad has been worried about sneaking around our sector are already here,” I whisper, watching her expression shift.

She sits up more, holding my arms. Her head tilts as if she can retain more information the closer she is to me.

“They stole a weapon ? How the hell would they even be able to get one of those away from an Official? Why haven't you reported it yet?” she questions.

Oh, no reason. They just have a supposed contraband item with my name plastered all over it.

“I have.” The lie sounds convincing, even to me, “Maybe that's why he got off at our stop today, to avoid Officials in his sector.”

“Did you see them wreck the school grounds?” she questions.

“That had to have happened after I left. There's no way they could have done that much damage,” I say.

“You didn’t see anything?”

Nothing that helps either of us.

“No, only what I already reported.”

I needed to tell someone. I needed to have a conversation that felt normal. Reporting Unfortunates is supposed to be like second nature. Even now, I’m questioning if I’ve revealed too much to her about the nature of Valerie and Fallan’s interaction. But I’ve always trusted her. Ever since we were children, she has safeguarded my secrets. But now, watching her nose upturn at the mention of any Unfortunate, I feel sick, like I’ve said the wrong thing.

“You could have said that in front of the clock. If anything, it would have helped you get them more violations,” Rae says, moving to plug the device back in. I grab her wrist, stopping her from leaning over me. Her hand holds the cord close.

“The Cure-All isn't banned in their sector, is it?” I question, waiting for her quick comment on my ignorance in asking something so idiotic.

She has been studying nonstop for the past three years, preparing for her medical exam and to be placed in a position under my mother after her Judgment Day. The answer should be simple: the Cure-All is meant for all . That ideology is the very foundation on which my mother built her cure.

“Y-You know already, Forest. Your mom developed it for both sectors,” Rae says, not giving me the straight answer I need.

I move her back a bit, waiting for us both to reach eye level before speaking.

“I didn’t ask who it was made for. Did our people ban its use in their sector?” I question. The familiar pit fills my stomach the longer she goes without answering, only growing my suspicions.

“The new Commander felt the medical units were wasting many resources on funding things like supplying the Cure-All in their sector. Last I heard, it was being pulled from their shelves. Most have to go to the Untouchable Med Center and join a waiting list to receive a vial. A great deal of the people who need it don't tend to come back once it is finally their turn to receive a dosage,” Rae says, tensing her jaw as she speaks.

“Don't come back?” I question, pushing farther on the notion.

“Our priority is not to keep them alive, Forest. The Cure-All is a luxury. You know this. Where one Unfortunate dies, three more stand. They're all replaceable. This isn't new information. We were giving them handouts for far too long,” Rae says. My stomach twists at her words.

“Were children on the waiting lists?” I question.

Her eyes answer the question before her words can.

“They're not people. They're not our people. Stop speaking about them as if they are,” Rae says, moving past me to cram the plug back in the outlet. I tuck my knees to my chest, reflecting on Fallan’s note with a new perspective. Of all the things in that bag he could have swiped, he chose the Cure-All. There was a wallet in the front and an ID that could get him into any part of our sector. He stole a medicine Untouchables use like it has no limit. Some spray it on simple paper cuts, using multiple doses in one go. He wasn't stealing it to taunt me, although it did work to his advantage.

He was stealing it because he needed it.

Rae’s furrowed brows relax once the device powers back to life. She looks at me sympathetically, landing her hand on my leg with a genuine expression.

“You did the right thing reporting those deviants and telling me. You know I will always support you,” Rae says with a smile. It doesn’t relax me like I wish it would.

The voices once trapped behind my father's door now resonate through the hallway. Loud laughter replaces the seriousness from earlier. I pull away from my position on the bed, swinging open the bedroom door, nearly crashing into Xavier and his wild blonde locks.

He grabs my waist, stopping me from clacking heads with him. He smiles wide at me, letting his laughter trail off. His large hand is warm against my side. I almost don’t notice how dangerously close he is to the rough skin of my birthmark. I pause, apologizing silently at my sudden entrance into the hallway. I lean up against the wall in an attempt to shift his hand away from my mark. He moves closer, allowing my father more room to occupy the hallway with him. Xavier's eyes land on his hand, pulling it away, letting it rub the back of his neck.

“Reflexes,” he whispers, giving me his gentle, soft grin.

“I didn’t mind,” I whisper back, speaking without fully processing my words.

He looks ready to say more, but the sudden presence of my father and Kai with Max quickly cuts him off. Kai and Max look curious, watching over Xavier with two very different expressions. Where Kai looks enthralled, Max looks displeased, maybe even annoyed. Xavier clears more space, joining me against the wall.

“How much did you all hear?” my dad questions, looking around at the three sets of eyes on him.

“Do you want me to lie and say I didn't hear you yelling?” I question, feeling Kai's annoyance even from this distance.

“He sounds grumpy when he's frustrated, doesn't he?” Xavier questions, grinning wildly at my dad's gaze.

“That I do,” my father says, smiling just as wide as Xavier.

The two men's banter is unlike anything I have seen before. In most scenarios, that comment would have ended with crude words and shaming from my father. Instead, he laughs along, seeing the humor in Xavier’s statement for once in his life.

“Five minutes alone yelling in a room together, and you make him smile?” I question Xavier.

“His presence might be growing on me,” my father says, patting the man on the back.

My dad's knuckles are coated in a thin layer of scabs. Only now do I see the matching wounds covering Xavier's hands. It's relatively fresh. Some knuckles are cut deeper than others. I grab Xavier's hand, examining it closely before dropping it with two pinched fingers.

“Just made conversation today?” I question, watching Xavier's brows crease with a perplexed look.

“A few Unfortunates needed a brief talking to earlier for being away from their sector for too long,” my father says.

All I can think of is the Unfortunate woman from the tram stop and Fallan’s defiant walk straight into our sector.

“Looks to me like you two handled some deviant assholes,” Max chimes in, moving closer to the young Official towering next to me.

“I heard Forest handled some assholes herself,” Xavier says.

My dad's eyes snap to me, waiting for me to confirm or deny the statement.

“Has she been fighting again?” My father questions Kai, not bothering to ask me for the truth.

“It was two boys taunting her. The ones with all the violations on their scorecards. Untouchables. I took the liberty of viewing the footage so you didn't have to. To me, it was justified, possibly even lenient,” Xavier says, saving me from having to pull together an excuse. I mouth a small “thank you,” watching his smirk grow at the praise.

“He's right. Colton and Josh have been going at us all nonstop,” Kai says in defense. Even he is done with their thoughtless actions.

“It was only those two you all dealt with today? You saw nothing else?” my father questions everyone in the group.

I can tell he’s trying to find answers for his leadership about the damage at the school. They genuinely have no idea what happened. They are as in the dark as me. I was hoping maybe he would have an explanation.

Max begins to explain what he saw to my father, taking the claims of my other two companions as Xavier motions me to follow him. The four of them are engrossed in their conversation, not noticing our silent exit through my father's study door. Xavier adjusts the door, keeping it semi-open to continue listening to the conversations outside.

My father's study is lined with bookshelves, filled with old literature long forgotten in the new educational systems. A perfectly filed cabinet is open, revealing countless names I don’t recognize. His computer screen is dark. The small stand of bourbon and scotch is raised high next to his leather chair. Xavier grabs a vile from his pocket, moving closer as he pushes the hair away from the side of my face. I feel my cheeks warm at the touch. His fingertips linger over my skin, his free hand cupping the side of my face. I wince once his fingers meet the cut Max had failed to heal fully with his Cure-All.

“This room has no devices. What did you do?” Xavier questions, spraying my face lightly with the medicine. His eyes watch the wound, continuing his hold on my face long after the cut is healed.

“I tripped. I’m clumsy,” I say, trying to feed him the lie everyone has believed all day.

“Yeah? Is that what the twins believed?” he questions, dropping his hand from the side of my face. He keeps a piece of my hair between his pointer finger and his thumb as he rubs down its length.

“There's nothing to believe,” I say, feeling the warmth spread in my cheeks once his eyes finally meet mine.

“Is that why your face is so red right now? Honesty has never looked so guilty,” his free hand raises, cupping my cheek. He rolls his thumb over my skin in the same way Fallan had when he touched the soft skin of Valerie's thigh. I shove away the image of Fallan, letting Xavier's enthralling eyes coat my vision. The touch is gentle. It feels different than the kiss I shared with Max. Every touch from him so far makes me nervous, and he can sense it.

“I-I’m not guilty-”

“Then what are you? You've looked lost ever since you ran into me,” Xavier says, keeping me flustered.

“Nothing happened that you haven't already laid out,” I whisper, pulling his hand down and away from my face. I expect to let his hand go, but I cling on tighter.

“I don’t believe you. Your heart is racing right now,” he says, seeking a genuine answer. His fingertips meet my pulse along my neck. His head lowers, close enough to hear my shaky breaths.

“Are you sure you’re trusting the right people?” he questions, only accelerating my heart rate.

My dad nudges open the door. Instantly, I retract my hands from Xavier’s, creating space between us. My friend's eyes meet mine. Xavier holds his calm expression, shoving the vial back in his pocket. He smiles at me, easing my tension on the note we left the conversation on.

“You’re all going to the screening tonight?” my father questions.

“What screening?” I ask, shooting my focus toward Kai.

“The school is playing The Great Gatsby tonight. It's one of the old world's coveted films. New Haven refurbished enough of a found film so they could cast it tonight in the front of the schoolyard. I’ve been telling you about it all week,” Kai says in defeat.

“Actually, you only told me,” Rae says, jumping to my defense at my brother’s ignorance. “You are going, right?” Rae continues.

“Of course she is,” Max says, rolling his eyes at his twin.

“I believe she can answer for herself,” Xavier says, crossing his arms, cocking his head at Max.

The tension between these two is suffocating. It fills my throat like a thick fog. Even my father takes a moment to observe the rise in testosterone surrounding him.

“Forest, your mother hoped to speak to you before you go. Why don't you stop by her office before you start getting ready? Xavier and I have a few more things to go over, and I’m pretty sure your parents would like you two to check in before you stay here any longer,” my father says, dispersing the group with just one statement.

That's how my father is. The man is able to dictate a room with few words. Max and Xavier look away from one another, moving to their respective areas across the room.

“We’ll be back over in an hour,” Rae says, tugging her twin and leaving the study. Kai trails behind. “I'll show them out. Good seeing you again,” he finishes, waving gently to Xavier.

Odd.

He never gives anyone a second look.

My father waits for me to back away. I take the hint, letting Xavier hold the door open for me with his typical smile.

“Tell me it's a bad idea to continue trying to figure you out,” he quickly whispers, lowering his head to avoid my dad’s ears.

“I can't do that,” I say, pulling away from the study with a smile.

My mother scans her files, covering her ears with a pair of earmuffs meant for winter. Her body jolts from my sudden presence. She pries away the soft barriers between the outside world and her. I kick her door closed with my heel, pulling up a seat beside her stressed figure.

“What's with the headgear?” I question, messing with the soft bits of the headpiece.

“Your father and the boy were getting too loud. I don’t like hearing about his work some days,” my mother says. My eyes trail to her clock. I’m shocked to see its plug pulled clean from the socket.

“How long have you had that out of the wall?” I question.

“As long as your father has been shouting in his study. It's not too fond of my distaste towards talk of violence. I'll take the marks on my scorecard,” she says as she begins shoving away the folder in front of her with a sigh.

“They were only speaking of Unfortunates-”

She covers my mouth, looking around the room, silencing me with a raised finger. After a few seconds, she lowers her hand, drawing in a deep breath.

“There's no need to specify details right now. I want to talk about you. Kai mentioned to me you might be having a hard time. He says you’ve seemed a bit off,” my mom says, glancing down at the portion of my shirt above my mark that Xavier had managed to untuck with his grasp earlier.

“I may have gotten in a physical altercation with an Untouchable,” I begin. She shakes her head, scolding me with a click of her tongue.

“You know better, Forest. What have I told you repeatedly?” she questions, pulling away another one of my hairs she has deemed too gray to be residing with my dark brown hair.

“Being in the shadows is not a disadvantage,” I say, watching her sigh.

“So, why would you go out of your way to draw attention to yourself? Why threaten someone out of a sheer power play?”

The hypocrisy eats me alive.

“I watched them beat down an elderly Unfortunate, and all is well, but the minute I make them feel the same fear, I’m the problem?” I question, cutting off her train of thought. She pauses, waiting for me to clarify.

“What-”

“There was an Unfortunate woman this morning. Josh Seal and Colton Stark beat her down outside the tram before school. Josh and Colton were the ones I got into a fight with.” I say, shaking my head out of frustration, “I already got the speech from Kai. I don’t need it from you, too,” I say, backing away from her dazed expression.

“Were you there?” she questions, ignoring my statement.

“What?” I say, pausing my hands grasp on the doorknob.

“Were you there when the ponds got destroyed?” she questions, keeping her head lowered.

“What does it matter,” I started to leave the room, twisting the doorknob, ready to free myself from this conversation.

“You'd tell me if something happened to you, right?” my mom questions. She speaks as if she already has an answer.

“Are you sure you’re trusting the right people?”

His words swarm my mind. A blink from another device tucked away by the bottom of the door hits my foot. She eagerly awaits a response, joining my stare at my foot.

“Someone is always watching. I'm sure you can get the whole picture from them. My word has never been as good as the cameras anyway,” I whisper coldly, leaving her alone with her countless spiraling thoughts.