Page 47

Jude

Jude’s dreams were interrupted by a strange, repetitive pounding sound. Like a judge’s gavel, banging down again and again to cast judgment on her life. She turned over in her already twisted blankets, trying to escape the incessant, annoying sound.

“Jude!” A voice called from the hallway. It sounded like Talia. “Let us in.”

Jude cracked one eye open. She was on the couch, where she’d been ever since her fight with Kat.

Her eyes were scratchy from crying, and her head pounded with dehydration, making her feel hungover.

She’d spent the past three days ordering takeout she couldn’t afford and playing reality TV shows on an endless loop, not bothering to follow the plots.

She needed the constant noise to keep her from thinking.

Because once she started thinking, she would realize how completely fucked she was.

“We know you’re in there!” Another voice called from the hallway. L.J. this time.

Jude covered her head with her pillow. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Maybe she would never talk to anyone again.

She’d stay here, fused to this couch, for the rest of her life.

Her friends would miss her at first, but they’d be better off without her in the long run.

They would move on. Like Becca had. Like Kat would.

The pillow muffled the knocking, and she drifted back into a half sleep, not fully gone but not present, either.

Until someone grabbed the pillow off her head and yanked it away.

“Hey!” Jude twisted around, startled, and fell off the couch and onto the floor. L.J., Talia, and Rhys stood above her, their arms crossed. “How did you get in here?”

“I convinced George to give me his key,” Rhys said. “We told him it was an emergency.”

“I’m fine.” Jude tried to get up, but her legs were hopelessly tangled in the blanket. “You can go now.”

“You’re not fine,” Talia said. “You haven’t answered a single text or call for three days.”

“Also, look at this place.” L.J. examined the apartment with a wrinkled nose. “This is not the apartment of someone who’s fine.”

“Just leave me alone.” Jude finally succeeded in pulling her legs free, and she got off the floor and back onto the couch, glaring at them.

Rhys sat down beside her. He put a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Jude. Buddy,” he said. “We saw the video of you destroying that guy’s phone. What happened?”

Tears pooled in Jude’s eyes. A wave of exhausted sadness washed away her resolve.

“I fucked up,” she said, her voice cracking.

“I lost control, and then Gala rescinded my job offer. Which means I left the bookstore for nothing. And I’m going to lose this apartment.

And Kat—Kat never actually cared about me.

She was lying the whole time. She just needed a girlfriend for publicity.

” Jude started to cry for real, and she covered her face so her friends couldn’t see.

“I have no job and nowhere to live and no girlfriend and no family and I’m losing everything.

I always lose everything. I try so hard to hold on to things, but I’m always getting left behind. ”

“Oh, Jude.” Rhys put his arm around her. Jude started to cry and the other two piled on, forming one big, unstable hug. “We’ve got you. We’re here. We’re here.”