Page 42

Pete

Pete screeches into the hospital car park, punching the steering wheel in frustration as the ticket barrier takes an age to lift and let him in.

He throws the car into a parking space, feeling sick as he moves towards the bright lights of the emergency room.

He keeps replaying Natalie’s terrified words as she told him he had to come back now , the way Emily had looked up at him, her mouth twisting in horror.

‘Dad? What is it?’ Fear had given Emily’s voice a biting tone that shredded Pete’s last remaining nerves.

‘I have to go,’ he’d said as he’d hung up on Natalie, shoving his phone into his pocket and ripping open the kitchen drawer to find his car keys.

‘I have to get back to the hospital. I should never have left in the first place.’ Pete shoved old takeaway leaflets, birthday candles and more – an insurmountable amount of crap – out of the way, desperately trying to find his car keys, to no avail.

‘Here.’ Jake held out a hand, Pete’s car key dangling from his index finger.

‘You left them in the fruit bowl.’

‘Right. Cheers.’

Jake had followed Pete out into the hallway, right out on to the driveway to where Pete’s car is parked.

‘Pete?’

‘What, Jake?’

‘Erin … Is she going to be OK?’

Pete had looked up at the boy – man – who is probably going to break his eldest daughter’s heart.

The boy who quite possibly was the one to take Erin from her bed.

The sky was beginning to lighten as Pete started the engine, the sun rising on what looks to be a clear, summer’s day, and in the dawn light Jake had looked like a child, concern crossing his features.

Pete had punched the car into first gear, suddenly afraid that this would be the last time he left this house with their family still intact, giving Jake one last look before he tore out of the driveway.

I should never have left the hospital.

The thought comes back to him as he reaches the doors to the staircase, afraid that if he waits for the lifts he’ll be too late.

His vision swims with images of Erin, of wires coming out of her, of the oxygen mask swamping her face in the back of the ambulance.

He pictures her tiny chest struggling to rise, her little rosebud mouth struggling to draw in air.

He should have been here, with Natalie.

But he’d been so convinced Vanessa was involved, so sure he would find out the truth when he confronted her, that it had blinded him to what was really important.

As he reaches the doors leading to the ICU, he spots Natalie’s blonde hair as she paces, her fist pressed to her mouth.

His heart turns over at the look on her face.

She looks broken, a burnt-out shell.

‘Nat. Natalie, I’m here.

’ Pete runs towards her and pulls her into his arms, the relief as she tightens her arms around him overwhelming.

‘I think we’re losing her, Pete.

’ Natalie’s voice is muffled as she sobs against his chest. ‘The alarms … They were screaming, and they wouldn’t let me stay with her.

I’m so scared.’

Pete presses a kiss to the top of her head, inhaling the familiar scent of her.

His hands are shaking and he presses his fingers into her back, trying to hide it from her.

‘We won’t lose her, Nat.

I promise.’ He knows he shouldn’t say it, but he wants to believe it so badly.

‘Erin’s a fighter.’

Natalie nods, her cheek rubbing against his shirt, and then she pulls away.

‘She’s in there.’ She points to a room further down the corridor, and Pete grabs her hand and pulls her towards the door.

Please, God . Pete presses his hands to the window as the nurses cluster around the bed, carrying out their checks and blocking his view of Erin.

Please let her be OK.

‘This is …’ Pete can’t finish the sentence.

‘She looks so tiny. So helpless,’ Natalie says, pulling her arms across her body.

Dark circles ring her eyes, and her mouth is pinched and drawn.

‘I can’t lose her, Pete.

’ The thought that last night might have been their last night together as a family of five makes Pete’s heart turn over in his chest. Even if Erin is OK, will Natalie ever forgive him for what he’s done?

The thought of not being with her, of not sleeping beside her every night, the idea of someone else sharing her life instead of him, is enough to make him go mad.

How could he have been so stupid?

How could he have risked it all for Vanessa – for some romantic nostalgia that never even really existed?

Natalie’s shoulders heave beside him, tears streaking down her cheeks.

‘Come and sit down. You look exhausted, and Erin is going to need you when she’s feeling better.

’ If she gets better.

The words hang in the air, unspoken.

Pete gently leads Natalie to the chairs on the other side of the corridor, close enough that they are right there when the doctor has something to tell them.

He sinks into a chair beside her, unable to bear the sight of Erin hooked up to those machines.

As they wait, Pete feels winded with regret.

They’ve worked so hard, him and Natalie, building a home, a life together, and now all of it could be thrown away because of his actions, because of what he did.

Pete reaches out and links his fingers through Natalie’s silently, wondering desperately how he can fix this.

We could move away. The thought isn’t entirely unwelcome, although he’s long since given up on the idea of moving to Australia.

But they could move away, to a different area.

Maybe if we move somewhere new with no memories attached, we could make things work.

Somewhere further down south, closer to the coast. Cornwall, maybe, or even Wales.

There’s loads of construction work all over; he could move the business relatively easily.

Dave could complete the new build contract, while Pete builds things up in another city.

Far from all of this.

Far away from Vanessa.

Far enough away that maybe he can repair the damage he’s done.

Hope flares, and Pete begins to pace the short distance between the chairs and the door to Erin’s room, his feet aching despite the comfy trainers he pulled on hours ago for the party.

Natalie has leant her head back against the wall, her eyes closed, her cheeks carrying a consumptive flush against the rest of her pale face.

They could go on holiday first, he thinks, to Australia.

He’ll tell Natalie they don’t have to build a house over there, but they could go and spend a few weeks with his parents.

It would be good for the girls to spend some time with their grandparents, and he knows his mum would love to help take care of Erin.

It could be a proper holiday for Natalie; they could go to the beach, and out for dinner or drinks.

She could relax for the first time in a long time.

He’ll give up his dream of moving there, if it means Natalie can give him another chance to put their family back together and Erin will be OK.

He’ll do whatever it takes, whatever Natalie wants, if things will just work out.

‘Mr and Mrs Maxwell?’ The doctor is peering out of Erin’s room, the rim of his glasses glinting in the bright light of the corridor.

Pete freezes.

‘Here,’ he says, his voice a croak.

‘We’re here.’ Natalie’s eyes spring open, and they exchange a glance saturated with fear as the doctor steps out, pulling the door to Erin’s room closed behind him.

His face is grave, and Pete swears his heart stutters in his chest, a missing beat that makes him feel faint.

He doesn’t think he’s ready to hear what he has to say.