Page 90 of The Loves We Lost

Thirty minutes later, after I do exactly what he said, Vi and I sit together, Avery between us, watching one of my brothers marry the woman who bowled him over from the moment he rescued her from gunfire on her porch.

They shouldn’t match. He’s a beast of a man, and she’s tiny. A motorcycle club’s sergeant at arms and an Irish mob leader’s niece. Both survivors of PTSD, Spark after living through a traumatic bombing in Afghanistan, and Iris living through being kidnapped by our biggest enemies, the Righteous Brotherhood.

And yet they fit. They love each other fiercely. And as Iris’s service dog sits by her feet, Iris pledges to love the man in front of her.

I think about how our wedding would have been, if Vi had said yes when I asked her. It would have been a cheap affair. She worked in a drive-through; I worked in a car repair shop. We would’ve been dirt poor but happy as fuck.

Now I know I want the rest of our lives together, but I’m terrified of asking her for any more than I already have, because she’s still not ready to say yes. I only just got her to commit to staying here for four weeks.

I drape my arm over the back of Avery’s chair so I can reach Viola. I cup the back of her neck, squeezing gently. When she turns to face me, she smiles, and there are tears in her eyes.

“I love you,” I say quietly.

Viola smiles, one of the real ones that make those pretty hazel eyes of hers sparkle. But she doesn’t say it back.

“I love you both,” Avery says a little louder than expected, but I don’t have it in me to shush her because I needed to hear the words from at least one of my girls.

A cherry-red lollipop appears between me and Avery from Niro on the row behind. Avery turns in her seat to grin at him, and he winks and puts a finger over his lips, gesturing for her to be quiet.

I unwrap it for her, and she sucks on it happily.

Saint and Briar are standing with Spark and Iris, and I see the two of them look at each other instead of the bride and groom as vows are said, like nothing else exists in this world.

And when the celebrant declares them husband and wife, a roar goes off around the clubhouse like I’ve never heard. It’s life affirming. In the midst of the graft, there’s love and family.

And I want that for myself.

Spark kisses the shit out of Iris, who immediately puts herProperty of Sparkcut on over the pretty white dress she’s wearing.

I want that too.

Vi in my cut.

I just have to figure out if I can ever convince her to make it our reality.

30

VIOLA

The whole day is absolutely perfect, apart from one progressively annoying thing.

The club girls.

And Penny is relentless.

As I glance over to where Miles is getting us another beer from a cooler, she sidles up next to him. I’ve written club girl characters in my books and deliberately never called them whores. It goes against my feminist principles to allow them to be labeled that way. I’ve always believed wholeheartedly that everyone is one hundred percent allowed to embrace any lifestyle they want, as long as it doesn’t harm others.

I’ve believed club girls have a right to find love, and how they chose to pursue that is up to them. Sleeping with a number of bikers in the hope of finding Mr. Right is certainly one strategy to that end. It’s not the way I would choose to do it, but they are well within their right to use and express their sexuality in any way they choose.

But as I watch Penny fawn over Miles, I hate to admit I might have been generous. Because Penny knows darn well that I’mhere, and so is Avery. And the last thing she needs to see is her father getting pawed over. But that doesn’t stop Penny.

“Who are you firing eye darts at?” Niro asks, sitting down next to me.

I tip my chin in the direction of Miles.

“Ah. Penny. You should go kick her ass if she’s bothering you.”

“What?” I ask.