Page 122 of The Loves We Lost

“Because she’s Brad Collins’s half-sister and wholly involved.”

“Fuck,” I hear King curse. “I’m going with Clutch to see if I can find her. Fill me in later.”

“Let me know if you get her.” And with that I hang up the phone.

“Sarah and Rebecca are gone, aren’t they?” Vi asks.

“They are. Are you okay?”

“Defineokay.” She grips my hand, and I run my thumb over her knuckles.

And suddenly I know what I have to say, even though it’s going to break me into a thousand pieces. Even though my brothers will hear it. Even though I have no idea what comes next for me after I’ve said it.

I need to say it so she knows.

“I’ll leave the Outlaws for you, Vi. Put in an official request to leave and get my Outlaw ink removed.”

The volume in the van drops as surely as if a needle just scratched across vinyl. I look down at our joined hands and realize mine are covered in the congealed blood of my enemies. I am tarnishing her with this. Ruining her because of who I am.

I try to release her, but she won’t let me.

“We’ll move,” I continue. “Find somewhere safe, away from this life. We’ll work through this together. Every bad dream. Every tough moment. We’ll get your foot checked out in a way that’s safe for the baby. We’ll get the baby checked out and deal with the outcome together. We’ll hold on to Avery and replace every memory she has of this day with a thousand memories of things she’ll love. You were right. We can make a really fucking happy life, the four of us.”

Viola places her hands on either side of my cheeks. “I thought you’d never agree,” she says, and it feels as though one of those blades I own has pierced my own heart. I can’t bring myself to look at my brothers as they watch me give up everything I know and love.

Love?

There’s nothing I love more about my life than Vi and Avery.

“I’ll let King know as soon as I see him.” I look over to Niro, whose eyes are on mine, and he nods.

Once.

Even though the look on his face is utterly wretched. Even as he holds Avery closer.

But it’s enough to make a single tear escape from my eye. I can’t imagine him not being a part of my life every day, but I know he’s safe in Catalina’s hands. The universe is fucking with me by making her arrive in his life at the perfect time.

Six months earlier and I wouldn’t have been able to leave without feeling like I was abandoning the man who is more than an outlaw brother to me.

Viola’s lips touch mine. “I thought you’d never agree to leave. And now that you have, I can’t let you.”

I suck in a breath of air. “What?”

“Avery and I are gonna need help to process everything that happened today. But we’re always going to remember that you came for us.” Vi looks around the van. “I’m always going to remember that Niro and Cat killed for us. And that Halo carried me when I couldn’t walk. And that Spark reassured Avery when she was scared. And that Saint and Switch helped us get out of there. And that you probably knew where to look for us because of Vex’s tech magic. And that King and Clutch are doing what it takes right now to make sure we can sleep well in our beds tonight, whether it’s at the clubhouse or our home. I want us to be a family, Miles.” She takes my bloodied hand and places them on her stomach. “I accept who you are, love. With all I am.”

Everything in the van starts to spin, and I drop my head between my legs for a second, while whooping and cheering breaks out.

Vi’s hand touches my back, and I feel so utterly unworthy.

But I lift back up, cup her cheeks, and kiss her.

I sink into the warmth of her, the scent of her, even the love of her. I kiss her because I want to remember this moment. I kiss her in a way I hope expresses how fucking grateful I am for her.

“I love you,” I mumble against her lips.

And she smiles. “I love you too.”

EPILOGUE