Page 116 of The Loves We Lost

I feel dizzy as I try to not imagine the worst scenario and to instead focus on a solution.

“She suggested it while they ... talk to Rebecca.” Sometimes five-year-olds question you like it’s a rapid-fire interrogation. Other times, thankfully like today, they let it slide.

“Okay.”

“Can you grab the cushions off the sofa?” I say to Avery as I hurry to the low freestanding media unit. It has thick white doors. I peek inside and see plastic containers with books and toys in them.

Good.

The more layers there are between either of us and a bullet, the better.

The unit is not attached to the wall that I can see, so I move to the end, pushing and shoving until I create a gap behind it. It’s heavy. So heavy that for a moment, I wonder if I can move it.

Somewhere between the mental cry of anguish that it’s not going to work and a last burst of strength, I find some momentum.

A memory of some book I read while pregnant with Avery comes to mind. I shouldn’t be moving heavy weights. But I can’t leave one child at the mercy of these people while trying to protect the other.

Tears sting my eyes at the thought I might be doing damage to our unborn baby, but I need to give us all a fighting chance of surviving.

I don’t know if a bullet can get through this unit, but I just want to make it harder to get to my daughter. If I can just—

“What are you doing, Vi?” The voice is Noah.

All my courage evaporates, and I reach out my hand to Avery. Because if this is it, we’ll go together. Hand in hand. And I won’t let go, no matter where we go in this life or the next one. I place my hand over my still flat stomach, cradling my unborn child.

When she places her hand in mine, tears sting my eyes.

“Are you okay, Mommy?” she asks, but I can’t answer. I try to smile, to form the words that convey I’m fine but neither come.

“Noah, please. I don’t know what this is or what I’m caught up in, but these are children.”

“Children?” He looks at my hand over my stomach. “Shit. Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant.”

“Why? Would it make a difference?”

Noah looks over his shoulder, back up the stairs. “It shouldn’t take too long for King to do as we asked.”

“You’re going to move us, aren’t you?”

“I’m trying to keep you here.”

“I have nothing to do with this. Please, let us go.”

“I wish I could. But you undervalue yourself. You’re Bates’s everything. Anyone can see it. They’ll return the eleven million to get you back.”

“Eleven million dollars? This is about money?” I glance down at Avery. I’d die for her in a heartbeat. But if I do that, I’dallow our second child to be killed with me. I’m in an impossible situation.

“Why areyoudoing this?” I ask. “They thought you were their friend.”

Noah rubs a hand over his jaw. He’s aged in the last hour since Sarah told Noah to lock me in the basement. Noah was as shocked as I was when she spoke.

When he doesn’t speak, I continue. “They’ll know it’s you. They keep track of everything. Miles knows I was coming here this morning. I said I’d meet him for lunch,” I lie. “He’ll get worried when he can’t get hold of me. And they’ll find out it’s you. When they do, not even I’ll be able to save you.”

“Why are you even messed up with a gang like that?” he asks. “You’re a good woman. A mother.”

“And what are you? A child abductor, a hostage taker. What’s next, a killer?” The words spill from my lips in anger. “At least what I am is honest.”

Avery whimpers. A sniffle, then a sob. “Momma?”