Page 75 of The Loves We Lost

Gingerly, I reach for her hand and bring it to my lips. “Thank you for looking after me today.”

“Daddy,” Avery shouts.

“Not so loud, pumpkin,” Vi says.

“Sorry. That’s a really bad boo-boo, but Uncle Colton says it’s going to be okay. He promised.”

“I’m gonna be fine. Even better now that I got to see you.”

“I’m gonna sleep here, right next to you, because Uncle Colton is having my bed and Mom made a bed for Mr. Switch in her office where she writes all her books.”

“Well, that makes me a lucky guy.” And that hole I felt in my chest earlier starts to heal. I look up to Vi. “Thank you.”

There’s a knock at the door, and Switch and Niro come in. Their presence is an unwelcome break in the moment I was having with Avery and Vi.

“Just wanna do some quick checks,” Switch says.

“And I’m gonna get you to the bathroom unless you want Switch to stick a tube up your—” Niro looks over at Avery and stops. “Anyway, toilet break.”

I’m patient as Switch checks whether my one functioning eye can follow a flashlight. And I’m relieved when Niro takes me to the bathroom because I’m a fucking mess. The world spins. I put my hand out to the wall and misjudge the distance. Niro catches my stumble, and I’m ashamed to admit he had to lower me to the toilet and hold me upright.

Vi has turned the bedding down by the time I return to the room. When I first arrived, I simply lay down on top. Now I climb inside, and Vi tugs a thin sheet over me.

“You call for me if you need to go during the night,” Niro says as they leave the room. At the door, he glances back over his shoulder, first at Vi, then Avery. “Lucky man,” he says, before disappearing.

The girls flit around the bedroom. While Vi disappears into the bathroom, Avery climbs up onto the bed in her matching pajama set of a T-shirt and shorts. They’re white and green and have little mice on them. She sits next to me and starts to read aloud from her Dr. Seuss book.

She talks about red and blue fishes, and the whole while, her little hand is resting on my forearm. Her fingernails are perfectly curved, the tips white. Her skin is cool.

Every now and then, she chuckles at something she read. I’m pretty sure she’s making half the shit she says up because her words don’t rhyme, which I’m pretty sure is the point of Dr. Seuss. She sounds some of the words out letter by letter. But she’s loving reading, and I’m loving listening.

Me? I’m riding a spaceship, I’m that fucking high with whatever Switch just topped me up with.

It’s better than the fucking awful pain I’d been in when I arrived at Vi’s.

“That’s the end, Daddy. You want me to read another one?”

“How are we doing in here?” Vi asks as she walks into the room in a silky pair of shorts and a little boxy crop top in pink.

Viola’s braiding her hair, and the action raises the hem of her top. Even with my fucked-up vision, that little glimpse of skin looks like fucking heaven.

And nope, my dick does not respond. Must be the drugs or those fuckers broke it, because otherwise I’d be rock hard at the idea of Vi about to climb in bed with me.

“Right, little miss, time for you to climb into your bed,” Vi says, echoing my thoughts.

Avery pouts, her bottom lip protruding in the cutest way. “But I was reading to Daddy.”

“Daddy is tired and needs to get to sleep, and you need to take up your position,” Vi says.

“Oh, right,” Avery says with a very dramatic nod. “My position.”

“Your position?” I ask.

Avery clambers off the bed and hurries around to my left side. “My position,” she says, stroking my arm. I love the way she’s so tactile. Always touching, connecting, supporting. “Momma says she’s gonna look after that side of you, and I’m gonna look after this side of you, so you can sleep.”

I swallow and bite back tears that burn. And fuck, these drugs really must be making me feel trippy because I swear to god I am not going to cry again today. “That makes me feel special, Ave. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She kisses my cheek. “Night, Daddy.”