Page 67 of The Loves We Lost

I nod, and suck in a breath.

“Ease it in for me, buttercup. Nice and slow so I can see it and pretend it’s my cock in you right now.”

I’m so wet, it eases in. “Miles,” I gasp.

“Yeah, buttercup. I want you to fuck it real slow. Grind on it. I wanna see your hips move.”

Somewhere along the way, I stop worrying about what I look like and focus on Miles’s responses. The sound of his voice. The huff in his breath. The occasional growl.

I pull my knees up even higher, open my legs wider, and push the vibrator so deep that the little wand presses right against my clit. “Argh,” I cry out as the intensity reaches an almost unbearable level.

“Such a good fucking girl, doing this for me,” he says.

Sensations build. I want to close my knees together, but I manage to keep them open so Miles can see.

“I’m close, Miles,” I say, when my abs begin to tighten in anticipation. “Don’t let me come alone.”

“I’m close too, Vi. Ah, fuck, you’re so wet. I can hear it. Can see your cream coating your vibrator. Shit.”

The awe on his face pushes me over the edge. I arch my back, putting a hand over my mouth to muffle the cry as I come hard.

“Vi, shit, yeah,” Miles mumbles. Then: “Fuck.”

The muscles in his chest and arms tense as thick spurts of cum land on his washboard stomach. He milks his cock, over and over, pumping every last drop.

It hits me hard that I’m the reason I’m here, he’s there, and we aren’t doing this in person. And the thought that almost immediately follows is that if I could be a little braver, I could change it.

23

BATES

Istare out over the dark lot of the compound and think about checking my phone to see where Avery is at. Yesterday, Vi took her to a pool. Tonight, they’re both at the house. I’m glad to see that she’s using the trackers. It settles my mind to know where they are. I wonder if—

“Yo. Earth to Bates. You with me, brother?” King says.

“Sorry. I was spacing out.” I shake thoughts of my girls from my head and continue loading my weapons bag.

“I was saying taking the van is a better idea than taking our bikes. Easier to hide and makes us less visible. But I’m guessing that’s not important to you right now.”

I look at my president, who’s expecting me to lead the war we’re preparing for, and shake my head. “I’m good.”

King shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “You wanna lie to me, go ahead. Or do you wanna talk about it?”

“Fine. I wish Avery and Vi were here with me instead of at a house I can’t protect or even get to quickly.”

“I know how that goes.”

I turn to face him. “How the fuck do you know? When you live with your old lady, who is currently inside our clubhouse, safe as anything.”

King shrugs. “You seem to forget I had this noble idea that I should duck out of Rae’s life to make it safer. Left her in Michigan, then came back here and got drunk for two days straight.”

“Oh, shit. Yeah. Forgot about that. Then she drove back here and called you out for disappearing.”

“Yeah, well, I know what it feels like when the woman you love isn’t in arm’s reach to keep safe, when it’s like our number one fucking job.”

The wordlovestands out. “I didn’t say I loved her.”

“You wouldn’t be spacing out over her and wishing she was here if you didn’t. Tonight, we’re hitting the docks. The details Vex found on the phones of those assholes the other day indicate they expect a shipment of weapons from Belfast for the Brotherhood. We’re going to prevent the handover. Take the weapons. Sell ’em. We’re hoping it’s going to lure their leader out so we can meet him on our turf. I need your head geared to that. You said you’d be my guy.”