Page 76 of The Loves We Lost

“Night, pumpkin.”

We both watch as Avery climbs beneath her covers, faces me, and closes her eyes.

Vi is still standing by the side of the bed.

“You getting in, buttercup?” I ask.

She sighs and finally climbs in, lying as far to her side of the bed as possible, facing away from me, and I can’t help but smile for the first time since I thought I was going to die. I’m fucking alive. I’m in bed with Vi, and my daughter is within arm’s reach. The possibility of us becoming the family I always dreamed about is still in play.

“Hey, Vi,” I whisper dramatically. “I don’t have cooties.”

Vi reaches for the tiny lamp and turns it off. “I know you don’t.”

“So come a little closer.”

“You need room tonight, and I don’t want to hurt you. I’m giving you space.”

“Any more space and you’d be in Ohio.”

I feel the bed jiggle at her laughter. “Go to sleep, Miles.”

“I’m feeling scared, Vi,” I say in a tone that suggests I’m anything but. “You wanna hold my hand?” Tentatively, I move my palm along the sheets and pat the mattress so she knows I’m reaching for her.

“You’re fine.”

“You’re gonna make me move.” I groan as I try to take some of my weight in my elbows to shunt across the bed.

“What? No,” she says, turning over quickly. “Fine. I’m here. Stop moving. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

Both of her hands surround mine, our fingers intertwined. “NowI’m fine.”

“You are such a manipulator.”

“You wanna know a secret?”

“Sure.”

I pause for a moment, taking in the quiet intimacy of being in bed with Vi. Talking about things like I always imagined. “On my way here, I wondered how I was going to get you into bed with me.”

“You’re an asshole,” Vi says, laughter in her tone, as she tries to tug her fingers away from mine. I just squeeze hold of them tighter.

“Just being honest. And you know what?”

“What?”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.”

Silence settles between us. The world peaceful as Avery falls asleep and the house goes quiet.

“I’m glad you came to me,” Vi says. “I’m glad you came here.”

I squeeze her hand. “Me too, Vi. Me too.”

26

VIOLA

“Ten out of ten. Best one yet,” Miles shouts before turning to me and lowering his voice to a whisper. “Fuck me, how many times is she going to cartwheel into the little pool?”