Page 36 of The Loves We Lost

I finish my stretches, then bounce to my feet. “Yeah, you’d be solo. But it would only be temporary until Spark finds his feet or whatever.”

“Okay, I’m running out of questions, so just don’t fuck it up. Your kid’s cute. I don’t actually hate her. Get to know her, but only if you intend on staying in her life—which, if you don’t, I’ll kick your ass—but it’s your call. And I’m fucking pissed at Viola on your behalf, but if you tell me you love her, I’ll practice the mask shit Rae is always talking to me about and try to like her. I’ll start by not calling her a shady bitch.”

I grab Niro’s vest, tug him to me, and hug him. “She had her reasons, even if we don’t understand them yet. She was rarely irrational.”

He hugs me back. “You stink, man. And I brought coffee cake. Apple and cinnamon. Your favorite. You’re welcome, dickhead.”

I shower in Niro’s room and borrow some of his clothes while he makes coffee in the kitchen. When I leave his room, I notice a little face peering into the corridor.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I say, gesturing for her to join me. Her hair is a mess, and her dinosaur is clutched in her hand.

She smiles when she sees me. “Mr. Miles.”

I want her to call meDad. I feel it immediately, but I’m guessing if Viola hadn’t told me she’s my daughter, she also hasn’t told Avery yet. And while I want it to happen now, I’m not so much of a dick that I’m going to tell her without her mom here.

When she gets to me, I notice her feet are bare, so I pick her up. “Did you sleep okay, baby?”

“I’m not a baby. I’m more than five and a half.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize. Of course you’re not a baby anymore. Is your mom sleeping?”

“She is. I had a dream about the bad men, and she let me climb into bed with her.”

It’s the second time she’s mentioned something about trouble. “You wanna tell me about the bad men?”

“They came to my house while I was in my pool. It’s not a real pool with walls in the ground. But Momma saw it on sale in the store, and she fills it with a hosepipe, and she nearly died blowing it up because we didn’t have a pump and her cheeks went all red and she said she felt wobbly.”

“Okay, so that was a lot of detail about the pool,” I say as I carry her to the kitchen. “But why did the bad men come?”

I sit her on the stool, and Niro places some coffee cake in front of her.

“We can have cake for breakfast?” she asks like we just told her it’s Christmas every day.

“You can when I’m in charge,” Niro replies.

“We can get some healthy stuff in you later,” I add. “Tell me about the men.”

“I don’t know. We had to hide in the shed so Emily couldn’t find us. It was smelly, and I was wet from the pool. And they had cupcakes, but we weren’t allowed to take them. And then Momma said we had to pack fast. And Anthony came in his police car. He didn’t use his sirens, but the lights flashed and made my room look blue, and he said that me and Momma should go and stay at his house to be safe, but we came here instead.”

Those mixed emotions flick through me again. Sounds like Vi had some trouble and for whatever reason felt being with mewas the safest option, which makes me feel like a king. And then I think that if she hadn’t had any trouble, she wouldn’t be here at all.

AndthenI think,Who the fuck is Anthony that Avery knows him by his first name and doesn’t call himmisterlike she does me and Niro?

Avery stuffs a piece of cake in her mouth as Niro hands me a mug of coffee. “Sounds like trouble,” Niro says quietly.

“Yeah. Big trouble if you assume this would be the last place she’d want to come after all these years.”

“Avery.” I hear Viola’s voice in the hallway, and my head, heart, and cock all respond differently. My cock? Gets happy. My heart? Drops. My head? Thinks about the ways she’s robbed us of moments like this.

I take a few steps back so I can see down the corridor and show her where we are.

And fuck me, if she hasn’t borrowed the hoodie I left on the chair in my room. I used to love seeing her in my clothes. They were always so big on her, and this one grazes her knees. And I’d never let her wash them before she gave them back, so they smelled of her.

“We’re down here,” I say.

She’s wearing sandals on her feet, and her toenails are painted a vivid turquoise. Some things never change.

The first thing she does is run her hand over Avery’s hair and kiss the top of her head. She whispers something to Avery, who giggles.