Page 26 of The Loves We Lost

“I love Spark like a brother, happy as fuck for the two of them that they keep finding and claiming their happiness. But it’s going to distract him. I mean, there’s going to be the obvious shit, him going to appointments with Iris. But it will also distract him in the field. I know he’s a former marine. But when it comes to putting his life on the line for the club, he’ll be thinking about that kid he hasn’t met yet. So I want you to be ready to step up.”

“Of course, I’m always ready to help.”

King grips my bicep. “I don’t mean help. I mean step in. I want you to stay really close to him, make sure you know all the plans we’re putting in place. I want you to keep an eye on him. If he starts pulling his punches, which, fuck, even I would do if Rae told me she was pregnant today, I want you to take over.”

“I always thought you’d move Halo from road captain to sergeant at arms if this ever came up.”

“And yet I’m asking you to do it. I see the hunger for it,” King says. “And you’re ready, Miles.”

He rarely uses my real name. Same for all of us. It’s a privilege to call a brother by their road name. It catches me off guard. “Thanks, Prez.”

He nods. “We should get out there and turn this into a party.”

I watch him leave and think about the past twenty-four hours. I don’t know what the universe is playing at. It put Viola back in my orbit one last time. Was it showing me what accepting King’s proposal would cost? Or was it challenging me to see if being sergeant at arms is what I really want?

Either way, I’m confused as fuck, even as I wish it were Viola and me in the bar telling everyone our good news.

10

VIOLA

“Mom, look what I can do.”

From my position on the small deck at the back of the house, I glance up from my laptop in time to see Avery belly flop into the small inflatable pool I set up in the garden. It’s nothing really, one of those big superstore buys on sale for twenty bucks. But it’s blown up nicely and has been given Avery endless fun.

“Ten out of ten for the splash,” I yell.

Avery grins. “I’m gonna do it again.”

“Okay, a couple more times, and then we’ll get you in the bath before I cook dinner.”

I glance back to the blank page on my screen. It’s been like that all day. I can’t decide what I’m meant to be writing since I handed my last book in to my editor before the book signing. Another MC, or a new mafia romance to run alongside my motorcycle club one? I want to write what I love. But I also worry that sales might start to dwindle, and people will stop engaging with posts about them. But nothing is coming together in my head.

And it’s not the plot.

Because every time I think about where this new story is going, I think about the way Miles’s cock felt as it nudged between my folds. I remember the smell of him, musky and salty. I shiver at the memory of the weight of his body over mine. When I close my eyes, it almost feels as if the light breeze is his breath against the nape of my neck, and then I get goose bumps that pebble my skin.

I’ve even masturbated three times since I got home, which is probably more than I did in the past two months.

Because everything keeps coming back to him.

I deposited the hundred dollars he gave me forFortune’s Lossand the five hundred he left next to the phone in the hotel (for reasons I don’t understand) into an account I’d set up for Avery when she was born. The money will earn interest and hopefully help Avery out at some point in her future.

I hope the money wasn’t payment for the sex, because while I might have been foolish for falling into bed with him, I am not a sex worker.

When my cellphone rings, it makes me jump. Emily, a friend from my mom group, appears on the screen, so I answer it. “Hey, Em.”

“Are you home?” Em says quickly in a hushed tone.

My heart rate increases. “I am, why? Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. Two guys just came into the bakery and bought some cupcakes. Jeremy served them, and I overheard the customer ask if they knew where Vi Graydon, the author, lived. Mrs. Bateman overheard and told them your street before Jeremy could cut her off. The old bat thought she was being helpful. Babe, one of them was bald, and the other was a big guy. Do you know them?”

My mind filters through all the options. I doubt it could be Bates and Halo, unless one of them shaved their heads. “I have no idea why two men would be trying to find me.”

But I don’t have time to run. Only to hide. The bakery is three minutes away.

“You want me to send Jeremy over?”