Page 86 of The Loves We Lost

He thrusts into my throat several times, holding my head in place with firm hands. And then Miles withdraws from me completely. With his forefinger and thumb, he pinches my chin and forces me to look up to him. “The way you take my cock like that makes me a very lucky man, buttercup.”

His words of praise feel like sunshine on a freezing cold day.

“But I don’t want to come yet,” he continues. “How much kink do you think you can handle?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

Miles grins. “Then I look forward to finding your limits. You want to build up slowly or just dive right in?”

Excitement rattles through me as I respond to his words. “Can we dive right in?”

“Brave girl.Batesis your safe word, yeah?”

I nod. My clit throbs at the fact I might need a safe word, but I’m sure there’s a hint of fear lurking within me too. What if he pushes me further than I can go? What if he wants something from me that I can’t give? Will he—

“Vi,” Miles snaps. “Eyes on me.”

I do as he says.

“Everything we’ve ever done so far would be enough for me. You’re not going to disappoint me, whatever we do tonight, yeah?”

“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m blowing this. I’m vacillating.”

“You’re what?”

“I want this. But I’m also slightly terrified.”

At this he bites down on his lip. “You should be. But trust me, if this hurts, we’re doing it wrong. Unless your kinks float toward serious pain, then I’m not sure I can deliver on them either.”

“They don’t,” I say. “Most definitely not.”

He kisses me tenderly and settles the nerves. I feel like a snow globe that just got taken off the shelf and shaken firmly. The kiss helps all the flakes settle.

“Now, hop up onto the bed. Lie on your back. And wait for me.”

The sheets are cool as I settle on them. By the time Miles returns with a small box, they are warm. Too warm.

The bed dips as Miles crawls up between my legs and places the box next to my thighs. Without any buildup, he sucks my clit into his mouth, and I arch up off the bed.

It’s almost too much for my already wired system.

Everything aches with anticipation of what will follow, and I don’t have long to wait. Miles uses his tongue to bring me up to the edge of orgasm so quickly, I can barely breathe. With firm strokes, soft licks, and hard bites, he teases me relentlessly. Always taking me to the cusp of coming, but never letting me trip over.

I know what edging is, but I’ve never experienced it.

Each time I go up a little faster, and each time the ache burns when he stops.

“Please,” I beg.

Miles lifts onto his elbows so I can see him. “Please, what?”

“You know what you’re doing to me.”

He grins. “I do. But I want to hear you say it.”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Say what, Vi? You think I don’t want to hear that you need what I’m doing to you?”