Page 90 of The Lost Zone (Dark Water #3)

“Well, that’s where there’s even better news.

I was on my way home to tell you when Neil sidetracked us both for a few days.

” He sat down in the armchair beside the bed and reached for Alex’s hand.

“Ted came in to the SID and agreed to testify. Even more importantly, he had a lock of Solange’s hair in a locket.

Mel ran the DNA, and it was a perfect match with the skull. ”

“What?” Alex croaked. “How?”

“Tyler clearly had Bagshaw alter the DNA on the IS database, but proving that won’t be easy.

However, it was enough for us to bring charges.

We now have three witnesses who were there that night, all saying the same thing, and we have a good DNA match.

All the same, I have no doubt Tyler is one step ahead of us and we should expect some dirty tricks. ”

Alex looked at him blankly for a long time, as if struggling to take all this in.

“It’s good news, Alex. We stand a chance now.” He squeezed his hand.

“Very good news,” Alex repeated, but his tone was still dull. They were silent for a moment, as Josiah gave him a moment to process everything. “And the bad news?” Alex asked at last.

“Tyler is insisting we stick another chip in you.” No point sugar-coating it. “He wants you back on Tracker Plus, so he can keep an eye on you.”

Alex closed his eyes and rested his head back on the pillow. “Of course he does.”

“Apparently, I’m doing a terrible job of taking care of you, and he’s worried his property will be irretrievably damaged. I can’t refuse.” Josiah squeezed Alex’s hand again. “He’ll only get a court order compelling us to comply if I do. It’s not a battle worth fighting – we won’t win.”

“It’s fine. I’ve lived with it for years.” Alex didn’t even bother opening his eyes again. “When?” he asked wearily.

“Now’s as good a time as any, I suppose.”

Josiah called the nurse in, and it was the work of seconds to implant another chip and register Alex, once again, on the IS tracker database. He sent the details through to Reed, instructing him to relay them to Tyler’s lawyers.

The little red dot winked, once more, under the pale skin of Alex’s forearm. He hadn’t opened his eyes for any of it and appeared not to care, but Josiah could only imagine the psychological impact.

“Alex – I’m worried about you,” he said at last.

Alex didn’t reply and his eyelids stayed shut.

“Not your physical injuries. They’ll heal in time with care, which I’ll make sure you get. It’s your mental health. Neil abducting you was a massive setback on top of so much else. You were already struggling before that, so I’m not surprised you’re feeling so low now.”

“I’m fine.”

Josiah reached out and gently touched his face, and Alex opened his eyes wearily.

“No, you’re not, and you don’t have to be. That’s what I’m saying. You don’t have to pretend. You can talk about how shitty and frankly intolerable this whole situation is, and has been for years. It’s okay.”

“What’s the point?” Alex gazed at him blankly. “Joe, I kept going for Solange. I don’t need to anymore.”

“So, what? You’re giving up?”

“What is there to keep going for? I have no future, Joe, whatever happens with Tyler. There’s nothing for me.

I’ll be an IS for the rest of my life, either his or someone else’s.

I’ve never been important in all this. I’ve done my bit for Solange, and I’ll keep doing it until the court case is over, but I’ve got nothing else in me. I’m done.”

“No,” Josiah said firmly. “You’re at a low ebb, but you’re not out for the count just yet.”

“A boxing term. Apt.” Alex gave a twisted little smile. “You love it, don’t you? I saw you that night, pumped up on that weird adrenaline rush you get whenever you scent a good fight. I found that whole situation with Neil terrifying, but you – you were buzzing, on top of your game.”

Josiah sat back. He understood. Alex was lashing out at the one person he could lash out at right now, but that didn’t make it easy to bear. Not that he could deny there was a certain amount of truth to Alex’s accusation.

“You’re right. I’m an old soldier and I’ve always loved a fight. You’re not – you’re an artist, and a much gentler soul than me, Alex.”

“No, I’m a shitty person. A coward. Christ, I couldn’t even fight off Neil when he came for me. Neil, for fuck’s sake.”

“He had a gun. What were you supposed to do?”

Alex looked down. “I’m just tired of always losing.” It was almost a whisper.

“You didn’t. You’re still here, he’s not,” Josiah reminded him. “And we charged Tyler with Solange’s murder. It’s all still to play for, Alex.”

“No, Joe, it’s not. Win or lose, I still lose. You know that. I still get to be kicked around like a football by the Tylers and Neils of this world. That’s never going to change.”

“I hear you.” Leaning forward, Josiah tried to send some of his own energy into Alex’s inert frame.

“I understand why you’ve given up on yourself, after all you’ve been through.

But you have to know that I am never giving up on you.

You can have a go at me all you like. I’m a big boy, I can take it.

It won’t change the fact that I’m here for you, and always will be.

” He pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “You’re coming home in a couple of days, and I’m going to do something I haven’t done in years; I’m taking all the vacation days I’ve built up, and I’m going to spend the time with you, looking after you.

” He was surprised to hear the words coming out of his mouth, as he hadn’t planned it, but now it was the only thing that made any sense.

Alex shrugged listlessly. “What about your work? The case? Nothing gets between you and a case. It’s all you really care about.”

Josiah winced. “Not anymore. You changed that. You know you did,” he said firmly.

“As for the case, I have a team who can manage perfectly well without me for a few weeks, and a boss who is more than capable of handling it in my absence. I don’t promise I won’t work a little when you’re resting, but you’ll have my full attention when you need it.

” He stood up. “There’s months to go before the trial.

We have time – let’s use it, Alex. For the first time in a very long time, let’s have some fun. Both of us.”

Alex gazed at him sullenly, and Josiah knew it would take more than breezy optimism and the promise of quality time to make him even begin to feel better.

Alex wasn’t a child to be cheered up with kisses and kind words.

He was sunk in a deep depression, and with good reason.

Josiah knew this would be the hardest fight of his life – but since when did he give up on a fight?

As out of his depth as he was, he’d fight for Alex with everything he had.

“Now, get some rest.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Alex’s forehead. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

It didn’t get any easier when Alex returned home. He slept a lot, which Josiah hoped was good, but he wondered if it was as much a sign of his depression as his need to heal. When he was awake, he stared blankly at the wall, or the screen.

Josiah wasn’t the world’s best cook, but he tried rustling up some tempting dishes and, failing that, calling for takeaways, but nothing seemed to tempt Alex’s appetite, and the weight fell off him.

Conversation was sparse. Alex zoned in and out and often didn’t reply to anything Josiah said. It was hard going, and Josiah wasn’t sure if he was making the situation better or worse. Sofie had found a therapist, but Alex refused to go.

“What’s the point? She can’t change my material reality. There’s no point trying to fix me just to send me back to Tyler, or someone just as bad,” Alex intoned in that same listless voice. “Besides, I’m tired of people trying to get into my head. I just want to be left alone.”

He was prescribed anti-depressants, but he refused to take them, too.

“You could make him,” Sofie suggested. “On a medical issue, a houder can force an IS to take prescribed medicine.”

“Yeah, I know, but I wouldn’t do that to him.” Josiah shook his head firmly. “He hasn’t been allowed any bodily autonomy for years, and I’m not going to perpetuate that. If I want him to trust me, then I have to allow him agency.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” Liz said during their weekly catch-up. “Having agency after years suppressing your every need and having no power or choice at all – that takes some adjustment. Trust me, I know. Maybe he’s overwhelmed by it.”

“What helped you to adjust?” Josiah asked. “I’ve been helping indies to escape for years, and I don’t think I gave enough thought to how difficult they’d find it to get used to their freedom.”

“Family and friends,” she said immediately. “Having support was crucial. Also, I learned a skill, and that was a great distraction.”

“Well, he’s laid up with a broken arm – that’s part of the problem. He was drawing before this all happened, but now he can’t use his arm for a few weeks and he has to rest. He has support – I’m here twenty-four-seven, and Sofie drops by for dinner regularly. Even Cam has been to visit.”

“They’re your friends, not his,” she pointed out.

“He doesn’t have any friends,” Josiah sighed.

Josiah was a problem-solver by nature, and he could see that sitting around waiting for Alex to snap out of it wasn’t going to work.

He also missed the bright, witty man he’d come to know and couldn’t bear seeing him like this.

All the same, he couldn’t let his empathy for Alex get in the way.

Maybe all Alex needed was time, but time was in short supply, and he felt the need to do something.

A thought occurred to him. It wasn’t technically true that Alex had no friends. He’d deliberately maintained an aloofness during his years as an IS, but he did still have one friend. He put in a call.

The next day, he opened the door to Ted Burgis, who was standing nervously, holding a battered box of chocolates.