Page 56 of The Lost Zone (Dark Water #3)

He ran into the kitchen, checked that dinner hadn’t burned to a crisp, and then reached into the cupboard for the chocolate.

As he turned, his shoulder brushed the blind covering the back door slightly to one side, and he paused, shocked, as he saw a face.

It was only for a split-second. Later, he’d question whether he’d actually seen it, or whether it was his imagination playing tricks after a long and emotional day, but it seemed so real.

He couldn’t remember the details – it disappeared too swiftly for that.

He just saw pale skin and shocked eyes, then whoever it was turned and ran.

He tried the door handle but found it locked. He grabbed the key from the cutlery drawer, but by the time he’d wrenched the door open, there was no sign of anyone outside.

He remembered the boot imprints he’d seen a few days ago, in the mud beneath the tree, and grabbed a torch to see if he could find any more.

But it had been dry for a few days now, and there was no sign of any fresh tracks.

Maybe he had imagined it. The man, if indeed there had been a man outside, was long gone.

Josiah shut and locked the kitchen door, his mind racing. Could it be one of George’s thugs, tasked with keeping an eye on them? But why? Surely Tyler had enough on his plate now without wasting men on pointless surveillance?

A thought suddenly occurred to him – could it be a bounty hunter on the prowl for Sem?

Just because there was so much else going on right now didn’t mean that it couldn’t be perhaps the simplest and most likely explanation.

In which case, he had to figure out how to get Sem to safety sooner rather than later.

That was a headache he could do without.

If it was someone looking for Sem, perhaps drawn here by Sofie’s frequent visits, that still didn’t explain the boot imprints under the tree, which pre-dated Sem’s arrival.

There was no answer, for now, at least. All he could do was check the doors and windows were all locked, then return to the living room with tea, chocolate, and a couple of plates of hot food.

Alex was looking a little better when he returned. He plonked a tray of food on his lap and placed a large box of chocolates on the sofa between them, sitting down beside him.

“Ah – the good stuff,” Alex murmured. “I must have really freaked you out if you’re sharing the posh chocs with me.” He sounded only a shade of his usual teasing self, but Josiah was grateful for even that much.

“How are you doing now?” he asked, glancing at him as he shovelled a forkful of lasagne into his mouth.

“A bit better. I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened. It was like my body was taken over by someone else. I felt like a bystander with no control over what was happening.”

“Don’t apologise. Dear God, Alex – look at what you’ve been through. Not just in the past few days but the past few years. I have no doubt that what just happened was the tip of a very large iceberg. You needed to let it out. I’m just glad you felt safe enough to do that with me.”

“I always feel safe with you.” Alex shot him a grateful smile. “I hope it doesn’t happen again.”

“I think that’s unrealistic,” Josiah said. “Alex, you’ve hidden behind that mask for years. That has to have taken its toll. I don’t think one outburst will heal you. There’s plenty more where that came from.”

“God, I hope not.”

“Take it from someone who’s an expert in bottling it all up.” Josiah gave a rueful sigh. “It finds a way out.”

“So, we’re both basket cases – that’s what you’re saying?” Alex grinned at him.

“Takes one to know one.” Josiah shot him a grin back.

“I’m fine now,” Alex said confidently. “I won’t lose it again.

It was just the strain of everything coming to a head.

This time yesterday, I was a condemned man eating his last supper.

I was so sure that Tyler would take me away again.

He was pushing me into his duck, for fuck’s sake.

I knew you’d carry on looking for her, but I thought I’d lost and he’d won yet again.

I’m so used to that feeling. Then it all changed so suddenly, but without resolution – everything happened and then nothing.

Sem tried to keep me company, but he gets tired easily, so I sent him off to bed.

Then I spent hours pacing, wondering, waiting…

I drove myself a bit mad, I think. That’s all. ”

Josiah didn’t think that was remotely “all”.

He had a suspicion that this was, in fact, the first sign that Alex’s mental health was deeply fractured, which was hardly surprising.

But he could hardly blame Alex for taking the ostrich approach and burying his head in the sand – wasn’t that precisely what he’d done for years?

If he had undiagnosed PTSD from Peter’s murder, then what must Alex be suppressing and storing up?

He’d witnessed Peter’s murder, too, and Solange’s soon after, and then he’d nearly died himself, followed by whatever had happened at Belvedere.

Josiah had no doubt that Alex was mentally strong to have apparently got through it all thus far, but the man had to have limits.

Alex seemed more like his old self after some hot food and chocolate, although he turned up his nose at the sweet tea, so Josiah drank it, along with the cup he’d made for himself.

“It’s late, and you said something about an early start,” Alex muttered guiltily. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have landed all this on you this evening. You’ve had a long day, and you’re dealing with so much.”

“I’ll survive. I don’t know, when you first arrived you were all over me, making me meals and offering me sex, and now I’m making all the food and waiting on you hand and foot,” he teased, shaking his head ruefully.

“But I’m definitely up for sex!” Alex jumped to his feet and held out his hands. “Come on, old man,” he urged as Josiah rose groaning from the sofa. “Let’s get it on.” He captured Josiah’s mouth in a deep kiss.

Josiah steadied himself by placing his hands on Alex’s slender hips, then drew away, still groaning. “Not tonight, I’m knackered. You know I was kidding about the food and sex, don’t you?”

Alex tapped the back of his head reprovingly. “D’oh! Obviously. I’m glad. The last thing I want is you tiptoeing around me like I’m made of glass. I just had a moment, that’s all.”

“Go to bed. I’ll be up in a few minutes. I just want to check all the doors are locked.”

“Why? Do you think Tyler will break in to kidnap me?” Alex looked startled, as if genuinely afraid that might happen.

“God, no.” Josiah forced a laugh he didn’t feel.

The last thing he wanted was to alarm Alex in his current fragile state of mind, but he had said he felt safe with him, so he felt he had to warn him.

“Alex… have you seen anyone outside?” he asked quietly.

“Only, I might be imagining it, but I thought I saw someone.”

He could have kicked himself when he saw the look of panic on Alex’s face.

“It was probably nothing,” he added hurriedly.

“It’s late and I’m tired. But tomorrow, I think I’ll post a couple of agents out front to watch the house.

You won’t know they’re there. I’d just feel happier knowing you’re protected when I’m at work.

I could take you with me, but I’d rather you stayed with Sem for now, while he’s still so weak. ”

He knew that he’d already locked all the doors, but he wanted one last check before bed. By the time he walked wearily up the stairs, he found Alex already fast asleep. He slumped on the side of the bed beside him.

“You poor bastard,” he murmured, stroking Alex’s hair gently. “How you’re walking around looking even halfway normal is beyond me.” He climbed in under the covers, being careful not to wake him.

This was a new problem, and not one he’d anticipated, although clearly that was because he was an idiot.

He made a mental note to speak to Sofie the next day.

She might know someone who could help. Alex might have created the perfect mask to hide his true intentions, but at what cost?

He might have found a way of surviving Tyler, but could he survive what he’d done to himself?