Page 34 of The Lost Zone (Dark Water #3)

Alex did find this helpful. It was a new way of looking at his life, and it made a big difference to his mindset.

Every morning, he arose immediately when the klaxon sounded and made his way swiftly to the gym to work out with E.

“Well, you’ve changed your tune,” she said one day, when he asked her to show him how to use one of the exercise machines, so he could work out by himself later.

“I want to learn, and you know how all this stuff works. I want to be healthy and strong,” he told her. “I’m lucky to have this opportunity. Most indies don’t.”

Oddly, she was one of those people who melted when people were nice to them.

She became quite chatty, telling him all about her woeful love life, and the squalid house she shared with two families.

She had one small, squashed room to herself, and the place was noisy, night and day.

“I love coming to work at Belvedere, because I get to enjoy the peace and quiet of this place. I work in other gyms, too, but they pay well here and leave me alone. I don’t find it easy to talk to people…

” She paused, flushing. “Except you. You’re easy to talk to. ”

He grew to like her after their unpromising start. She had a hard shell but, like so many of the people he’d met as an indie, she’d had a tough life.

“Is everyone like this?” he asked Two later that day. “If you’re nice to them, they’re nice to you?”

Two snorted. “No, but as the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Your bad attitude pushed people away before they got to know you, which is a shame, as you’re really not that bad.” He grinned and ruffled Alex’s hair.

“When will you teach me how to do the face trick?” Alex asked.

“When I decide. It’s out of your hands,” Two replied. “Patience is another skill that must be practised if it’s to be mastered.”

Alex made a face and, unexpectedly, Two slapped him.

“What was that for?” he exclaimed, clutching his cheek.

“There can be no public and private Alex,” Two scolded.

“There must be only one – the perfect servant. You can’t have friends and confidantes when you go back into Mr Tyler’s service.

You can’t allow yourself that degree of intimacy with anyone.

You can listen to E, be nice to her, but never, ever let anyone get close.

You can never tell anyone your secret. You can’t risk your houder knowing your intent.

You must be mentally strong, Alex, to keep this to yourself, to hide yourself. ”

“I am strong,” Alex responded, remembering what Ted had said when he gave him Solange’s picture. “I’ve lived through so much already and survived. Now I have a good reason to survive. I can do this.”

“Then learn not to make faces, not to react, not to have an opinion on anything – at least not one that anyone can tell. You are the perfect servant. That’s all. There is nothing else going on in here except the desire to please and the wish to serve.” He tapped Alex’s head firmly.

Alex found it hard to school himself not to react – not to pull faces or talk back.

“Learn to be quiet and to listen,” Two advised. “Talk to people about themselves, not you. Change the subject if it becomes too personal. People love talking about themselves, so it shouldn’t be hard.”

Alex found this even more difficult. To be invisible, a silent shadow in the background, handing out drinks or doing household chores.

“That’s what a good servant is – unobtrusive, hard-working, willing,” Two told him in the gym the following Sunday.

“I know that goes against everything you’ve known all your life, everything you were taught, and every expectation of you from an early age.

You were destined to be part of a powerful elite, but instead you find yourself merely a faceless servant.

Embrace your anonymity, Alex, use it as a cloak of protection, and it will keep you safe. ”

Two still stood behind him in the gym, facing the large mirrors. He put his arm around Alex and rested a hand on his midriff.

“It’s time for the lesson you’ve been waiting for. Empty your mind, focus on your breathing, and watch me.”

Alex watched in the mirror as all trace of Two’s personality disappeared.

His eyes went perfectly vacant, his face blank.

“It’s a negation of ego, an ability to disappear at will, to let nobody in and allow nobody to see the real you,” Two explained, his hand still pressed firmly over Alex’s solar plexus. “Now, it’s your turn.”

Alex tried, but it was harder than it seemed. He could manage it for a few seconds, but then he was distracted by a sound outside, or Two would make him laugh, or startle him, and then he was back, and it was all too obvious in his reflection.

“Damn it,” he sighed. “How do you make it look so easy?”

“Like all things one wishes to be good at – practice,” Two told him firmly. “I didn’t learn how to do this overnight.”

“Why did you learn it at all?” Alex asked.

“I witnessed many things in my early years working in the big hotels of New London. Most of those things I’d rather not have seen, frankly.

One of them was women in a state of undress with their houders or husbands.

Some men treat a servant like part of the furniture and pay you no attention, but others really don’t like the idea of you looking at their woman.

I learned to show no interest and have no reaction, no matter what I saw. ”

“You must have so many stories to tell.”

Two gave an enigmatic smile. “I do, but I don’t tell them.

You won’t, either. Discretion is an important part of being a good servant.

The only thing you will tell, one day, is the story of Solange’s death – and you will only tell it to someone you are absolutely certain has both the ability and desire to bring Mr Tyler to justice.

Everything else is private. Secret. You will learn to be the soul of discretion. ”

Alex worked harder than he ever had in his life, but he enjoyed it. He could see the value in everything he was being taught, and how it would help when he had to one day face Tyler again.

Days turned into weeks. He had no idea when he’d have to leave Belvedere, so he made the most of every day, cramming as much into them as he could, studying until late into the evening.

Three, Four, and Five were surprised by the change in him, but it had the effect of making them work harder, too, and soon they were all competing to be the best in B’s lessons, their enthusiasm infectious as they all lifted each other.

Alex had never thought to make friends again after Solange and Ted, but he felt close to them all.

“It’s a mistake,” Two said, when Alex confided this to him. “You can’t have friends, Alex. You know that.”

“ You’re my friend,” Alex pointed out.

“And that’s almost certainly a mistake, too.”

“I’m only human,” Alex said miserably. “How can I possibly get through the next however many years without something as simple and life-sustaining as friendship?”

“That’s what you need to work on. You will be isolated, Alex. It will be lonely.” Two gazed at him keenly. “But it’s the only way.”

Alex wasn’t so sure it had to be that severe. He could keep his secret and still have friends, couldn’t he?

F continued to be a bully. He didn’t hit anyone again, but they all felt his moods and the force of his tongue lashings.

Alex loathed the man, but he bit his tongue and forced himself to smile pleasantly at him.

He practised Two’s mask trick every day, but he still couldn’t consistently empty his face at will, and found it even harder around F.

“You must concentrate and try harder,” Two admonished after one incident when he’d pulled a face at F’s departing back.

“It might seem like a small thing, and you might be quite sure nobody is looking, but it’s a slip-up, Alex, and you can’t afford a single mistake.

Your life might very well depend on it, and the success of your mission certainly will. ”

D softened towards him now the photo incident had receded in their minds, and resumed smuggling him little sweet treats with his meal. The other indies all laughed and teased him about this, but Two took a dim view.

“You must learn how to stop this kind of thing, so it’s not a problem when you return to your houder,” he admonished when they were doing yoga later that evening.

“What’s the harm in it?” Alex demanded. “She’s such a poor little creature. If it gives her pleasure to bring me things, then why stop it?”

“Because it creates an obligation, a sense of friendship, and that will make things harder and more complicated for you back in the real world, Alex.”

“I don’t agree with you on this,” Alex said stubbornly. “I haven’t encouraged it or asked her to do it. It’s not my doing.”

“Agreed – but it could be your undoing,” Two said firmly.

Alex was exhausted. He’d been burning the candle at both ends for weeks, had done everything Two had asked of him, and he’d had enough.

“Oh, just fuck off,” he snapped. “I’m sick of you being so bloody well sure you’re right all the time. I’m sure you must have made at least some friends in all your years as an IS.”

“I’m not you. I don’t have the baggage you’re carrying around,” Two pointed out.

Pushing himself up off the yoga mat, Alex grabbed his towel. “I’ve had enough.”

“Alex… I’ve had friends,” Two said in that calm, reasonable tone that made him want to scream.

“Many of them, over the years… but even for someone not carrying your secret, it’s not easy.

People have left my houder’s service, or had their contracts sold on.

It can be hard to let go when that happens, to accept that it’s out of your control, that you may never see them again.

Take you…” His voice faltered. “When we leave here, I probably won’t see you again, and that hurts me more than you can possibly imagine, my dear boy. ”