Page 81 of The Lost Zone (Dark Water #3)

Alex glanced around the restaurant. He could stand up, make a scene and yell that Tyler was a murderer, but that was a fool’s choice, and he only had one shot at this.

If he did that, Tyler would no doubt bundle him straight into a duck, and that would be the end of his mission.

People were unlikely to pay any attention to the rantings of someone who looked like he did right now.

“I will, but firstly, I want to say I’m sorry,” he said, surprising even himself. “I had a lot of time for reflection at Belvedere – they insisted on it – and I discovered some things about myself that I hadn’t realised before. I was spoilt, egotistical, and ungrateful. I can see that now.”

“This sounds like a miracle.” Tyler leaned back in his chair and studied Alex curiously – and with a hint of suspicion. “But I don’t believe in miracles. So, tell me, how did this road to Damascus transformation come to pass?”

“They took me to a very dark place. They were relentless. It wasn’t easy,” he said quietly.

“They stripped away my ego and revealed all my useless lies about myself. I saw myself properly for the first time, and I didn’t like what I saw.

They took me back to basics, broke me down into little pieces, and then showed me a way back – and they taught me so many things.

” He could feel his eyes shining. He sounded like a cult member, evangelising about his experience.

“I wasn’t a good person, or even a nice one,” he continued.

“I don’t pretend to be either, now, but I’m determined to try.

All I want…” He felt the tears pricking in his eyes as he spoke.

“All I want is to be a good indentured servant to you, sir. That’s all I want in the whole world.

My life before was a meaningless sham. I don’t do well on my own.

I never want to be free again. I only hurt and deceive people when I’m left to my own devices.

I want to belong to someone, to be part of something bigger than myself and to offer myself in service, however small.

I don’t want to exist as me anymore. Alexander Lytton was a shit.

As Alexander Tyler, your IS, I can be someone useful, not the waste of space I was previously.

My only wish is that you continue to find a use for me, and I promise I’ll do my best to please you. ”

Tyler looked as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. “It’s true that you’ve behaved very well since your return,” he murmured. “I’ve been impressed.”

“I only want to serve you,” Alex said quietly. “That’s all I care about.”

“And what do you think of the clothes I put you in tonight?” There was a hint of malice to Tyler’s smirk, as he sought out his old manner of needling him.

“I understand their symbolism,” he replied without rancour. “And I appreciate the opportunity you’ve given me to prove that I’ve matured since last we met. I’m happy to wear anything you want.”

“Even if it’s painful? Or degrading?”

“Anything,” Alex repeated firmly. “I don’t deserve kindness. My whole life now is a penance for my self-indulgence and destructive behaviour. I don’t find these clothes degrading at all. In fact, I took the opportunity to learn how to walk in these heels this afternoon.”

“I saw,” Tyler grunted, confirming Alex’s suspicion that he watched him obsessively.

Their food arrived. Tyler opened his napkin with a flourish and placed it on his lap, and there was silence as they began eating. Tyler looked as if he was struggling to process this new, improved Alex. Maybe he was even a little disappointed that he couldn’t wheedle some defiance out of him?

Finally, Alex spoke. “Please let me know the kind of companionship you require over dinner, sir,” he said quietly. “I wouldn’t presume to question you about your day or your affairs, but if you’d like me to make conversation, it was one of the skills they covered at Belvedere.”

“Okay, amuse me,” Tyler said, with a gleam in his eye.

Alex thought about that for a moment and then settled on something.

“I’ve been reading some of the books you sent me, and I’ve really enjoyed the selection – they were exactly what I’d choose for myself.

One of them in particular fascinated me: the history of floating cities and the engineering challenges behind them.

You must know a lot about this subject, and I’m eager to find out more. ”

Tyler dabbed his mouth with his napkin. He was a slow eater and not a hearty one – he’d chosen a small meal with a large salad.

Control. Everything was always about control for George.

Controlling his appetite, his empire, his indentured servant.

How frustrating he must have found Alex’s mother, with her free spirit and determination not to be controlled.

Or maybe that was part of the attraction.

Hadn’t that been at least part of his fascination with Alex?

The desire to control someone so wild and wilful?

How did he therefore feel about this new Alex?

Had some of the appeal faded now that he’d mastered him?

That would be a good thing. The less interested in him Tyler was, the faster he’d grow bored of him, and then the more likely he was to make a mistake in guarding him.

Tyler was, as always, good company. Over the next few hours, he showed all the traits that had attracted Alex to him in the first place.

Well read and ferociously intelligent, talking to him was an education in itself.

Alex found himself enjoying the dinner more than he could ever have imagined.

He kept checking in with himself to make sure his mask never slipped, but he was genuinely fascinated by Tyler’s conversation, and he could tell the feeling was mutual as he asked a number of insightful questions.

They ended up having a discussion he’d have positively relished under any other circumstance.

This was no way to make the man lose interest in him, he berated himself, and yet how else was he to make him believe he was a changed person?

It was so complex, confusing, and difficult.

He could only muddle through as best he could, in what he hoped was the right direction.

They finished dessert, and Tyler leaned back, stirred his coffee, and then asked casually, without warning, “So, how did it feel to betray your old friend?”

Alex felt the question like a punch to his gut, but he let nothing show on his face. He took a sip of water to compose himself before replying.

“You mean Bax? He’s of no consideration to me now. He makes his own choices. My loyalty is completely, one hundred per cent, to you now, sir. It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to put past loyalties ahead of my duty to you.”

“Hah.” Tyler shook his head. “I have to say, this new Alexander will take a bit of getting used to. Supposing it had been your brother or father? Am I to seriously believe you’d stand by if I went after them?”

“My love never did either of them any good,” Alex said quietly. “They’re better off without it. I’m your servant, sir, completely devoted to you.”

Tyler looked troubled.

“Isn’t that what you wanted when you sent me to Belvedere?” Alex asked.

Tyler looked up sharply, but Alex kept his expression neutral and unthreatening.

“I did.” Tyler gave a pained smile. “They always say you should be careful what you wish for. I’m not sure this Alexander is the improvement that I’d hoped for.

I rather liked the last one’s ludicrous self-delusion and never-ending sarcasm.

The entitlement, the back-chat, the fire, the stubborn core of him.

You’ve been neutered, Alexander, and I’m not sure that’s a good look on you. ”

“If you want me to change in any way, to be more accommodating of what you require of me now, then please say. I’ll do my best to be the perfect servant, whatever that is to you personally,” Alex said earnestly.

Tyler finished his coffee abruptly and slammed the cup down. “We’re done here. You can go now.” He clicked his fingers, and Harris, who’d been lurking by the door, came over. “Take him away,” he ordered curtly.

Alex mulled it over in the AV on the way home.

He didn’t think he could have done any better – maybe a tweak or two here or there – but he’d kept his mask on the whole time and done his absolute best. Tyler had been convinced, up to a point, but Alex had no doubt that the tests would keep on coming.

He was right. Six days later, Andrew dressed him in an ensemble of excessively tight jeans and a floaty, multi-coloured shirt, combined, rather incongruously in his view, with a black leather jacket, his hair styled loose and curly.

“No briefing info again, sorry,” Andrew said as he helped him into the jacket.

“I hope I can improvise well enough,” Alex replied, trying to keep the note of reproach out of his voice.

It wasn’t Andrew’s fault – whatever Tyler had in store for him this time, he wanted to keep it a surprise.

“But one thing I absolutely do need is the pills.” He held out his hand, and Andrew obliged by dropping the little packet onto his palm, much to his relief.

He dreaded being asked to perform without them; his mask had limits.