Page 4

Chapter Four

AUTUMN

T he darkness of my room envelops me. The silence echoing around me feels like it’s drowning me in a numb, emotionless state. From the moment I left work, every second after that was a blur. I don’t remember making it home. I don’t even recall what I’d said to the officers or what they said to me. I only remember the silence when I returned home. It’s funny what you can hear when the world is silent and you’re completely alone. The dripping water from the kitchen faucet, the scratching of branches on the roof. The wind as it whips through the trees. The world around me lives on, but my world as I know it has died. The last words ever spoken to my brother echo on repeat in my head. And when I slammed the bedroom door in his face, the finality of it all. Little did I know that would be our last moment.

A knock comes at the door. I blink slowly, staring at the living room wall where a picture of us from a few summers ago hangs framed.

“Autumn,” Vicky’s voice calls. “I know you’re in there. Please let me in.”

That photo was taken at the lake, it was our first trip together since Mother … Colton had caught a fish and he chased me around the dock with it. The picture is us after he had caught up to me and made us take a selfie with it—back when we could afford a cell phone. Now I have even less than I did then, so much loss.

“Open this door, Autumn, or I’ll break it down,” she yells. “I know you’re in there … you haven’t left that disgusting bed in three days. I swear, I’ll break it down if I have to.”

I’d like to see her try. Colton put a Lockmaster 2.0 on that door a month ago. I didn’t think anything of it then, but I wonder if he somehow knew he was in danger and was trying to protect me in the process.

After a few more seconds I hear a loud thump at the front door before, “Ow, fuck.” A slow smile creeps over my cheeks, not because of happiness, but because I caused someone else pain. A sick thought, I know, but any feeling is better than this overwhelming sadness that has taken hold.

Reluctantly, I rise to get the door. The monotonous knocking is disrupting my silent darkness. As the door swings open, Vicky is standing on the steps with her hands on her hips and her eyes full of anger. “About time,” she huffs, before crushing me in a hug and pushing her way in. “Listen, I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. I came to see how you were doing. Apparently, I’m here just in time.”

Silence fills the room as she looks me up and down.

“Autumn, you reek,” She pinches her fingers on the bridge of her nose as she inspects the rest of the house. “When was the last time you took a shower?”

I collapse on the couch, not having the energy to walk any farther. Looking into my hurt face, she calms and sits down next to me. “You know, Autumn, those hunter guys came in today asking for you …”

I look up immediately, my fists clench, and everything in me glares at her with anger.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell them anything. I pretended like I didn’t know who they were talking about. Believe me, I don’t want to be having long conversations with those weirdos. They give me the creeps.” She smiles, but something buried inside of me wants to kill them. I have no idea where the anger is bubbling up from, other than the loss that I feel wants some type of retribution.

“That brings me to another reason I’m here. Tom said your bereavement leave is up next week, if you don’t come in, he’ll have to hire someone else.”

“I don’t care. Let him,” I hoarsely whisper the first words I’ve spoken in days.

“You do know you’re coming camping with me this weekend, right?” she tells me.

“No, that’s not a good idea.”

“I don’t care, I’m not leaving you alone in this place for one more day.” She sighs, placing a hand on my knee. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

We sit there for a minute watching each other. Vicky withdraws her hand, rising to her feet and adds, “I don’t care if I have to hog-tie you and throw you in the back of my truck, you’re coming.”

And with that, she leaves without another word. I slink to my side on the couch staring at the photo of Colton on the wall because I have nothing else to live for.

* * *

I’m running again, deep in the forest this time. I can’t put my finger on it, but it smells different here. The trees are denser and covered in thick moss and I have to navigate my way between them. I’m following something. A pull in my heart. It’s drawing me closer. It’s pulling us together. The tug in my chest intensifies, guiding me to turn left. My legs leap over a fallen log that’s also covered in moss. My legs are outstretched and fall into the earth, claws digging into the soil. Those aren’t legs … they are light brown paws. A shiver runs down my spine at some realization that there’s more to this life than I’m aware of.