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Chapter Thirty-Eight

AUTUMN

T wo days later …

The moon’s power trickles through my veins from the moment I awaken. Anticipation spreading throughout my body. To disperse some of it, I’m washing my clothes in the tub. A knock at the door sounds before Onai bursts in in a flurry of skirts and color.

“What are those?” I ask, wiping my hair away with the back of my hand.

“Well,” she hums as she places a hand to the wall and guides a tree root out and curls it over. She hangs the dresses on it. “Now that you are an official member of the pack and Guardian of the Protector Clan, I’ve had some dresses made for you.”

“For me?” I rise, water dripping from my hands as I walk over to her.

“Indeed.”

There’s at least five or six of varying colors and material. The style remains the same, floor-length, thick dresses with a V-neck and long sleeves. My fingers reach for the green velvet one, it has gold embroidery accenting the deep V-neck and repeats on each cuff, as well as a ring around the waist. It’s beautiful.

“Someone handmade all of these?”

“Some of us aren’t all gifted with death vines and ice blocks you know. Some enjoy the silkworms and needle bugs.”

“These were made by bugs?”

“The rarest bugs in the world, only here because of Bathinda, the seamstress.”

“Hats off to the bugs, these are beautiful,” I mumble, flipping through them all.

“Does this mean you’ll get rid of those horrible leggings? I feel like I’m seeing you naked each time you wear them.”

“Not on your life.” I shoot her a smile.

Onai rolls her eyes as she leans against the cave wall. “You know what tonight is, right?”

I nod. “I’ve felt it since the moment I woke up. I don’t know if it’s from the bond or just my gut recognizing its power. But I can feel the full moon as if it were in this very room.”

“Oh, I almost forgot!” She hands me a blue and green box of tampons from the pocket of one of the dresses.

“Yes, thank you. I used my last one last week.”

“So … you’re not bleeding on a full moon?” Her eyes widen.

“Nope, finished last week, but I’m sure I’ll put these to use next time.”

“Does this mean that you and Renall will …”

“Oh, I …” It’s my turn to stammer and glance around. Truth is, I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. Like an embarrassing amount. It doesn’t help that we haven’t fooled around since the attack in the corridor. I needed some space, and he was healing. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Onai screams, “Oh. My. Gods.”

“Shhhhh.” I smack her.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t get over that you might be mated by morning. Gods, it’s about time. If I have to see you guys making googly eyes at each other one more day, I’m going to vomit.”

“I don’t think the googly eyes will stop after mating … will they?”

“I hope you guys aren’t going to be the type to just do it outside on the tables.”

“Gods, no.”

“I’m all for love, but get a room already.”

We laugh in unison, slipping to the floor beside each other. When the giggles die down, I lean my head against the wall. “How do I tell him I’m ready?”

“I’m no expert, but I don’t think there should be talking involved at all.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

“Onai!” I snort.

When all the words have been said, Onai rises to her feet. “I think it might be almost time for my full moon potion. Gods, sometimes I feel like it’s the only time I get any sleep around here.”

“Thank you, Onai. You’ve been nothing but nice to me since I arrived and …”

“Don’t.” She places a finger to her eyes brimming with unshed tears, “I am just so glad you decided to stay. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As she opens the door and steps a foot outside, she leans back in and says, “Wear the green one tonight.”

* * *

Renall enters as I’m trying on the dresses and admiring them in the reflective rock above the sink and he stops short. The dress is red and the V-neck is wide enough that both shoulders are practically peeking out. It has a tight bodice on the top and flares out from the waist.

“Brutiful,” he whispers and I turn to him.

He closes the space between us and places his forehead to mine.

“Tonight is a full moon, you know?”

One look in his eyes tells me he wasn’t just asking me if I wanted to have sex. No, he was asking if I was ready. Agreeing to stay is one thing, but am I ready to tie myself to him, heart and soul? Am I ready to tie myself to this cave? Take on their mission of protecting the Tree of Life?

I nod. “What if I don’t want to …”

“Then I will leave and come back in the morning. You know what you like. If the urge gets really bad tonight, you should be able to take care of yourself.”

“And what if I do want to?”

He stills, his breath warming my face as his eyes darken. Slowly, very slowly, he states, “Then you and I will have the best night of our lives.”

My heart thunders at his words. I’ve already decided. I knew the moment I leapt to the cave floor to be with him, the moment our fates were intertwined, that I wasn’t leaving. There was no more running. No more pretending that I don’t want this just as much as he does.

“I don’t know when it was my heart healed, or when the sting of my brother’s death no longer kept me up at night. But it did. I am healing, I am mending all those lost pieces of me, until I finally feel like myself again. Better than me. Because I am no longer afraid, and I am no longer alone. Slowly this place has become my home, this cave is our cave, and these are our people. I’m not afraid of what that means. I’m not scared of anything except a life without you.”

I trace a finger down his perfect jawline as he shivers and closes his eyes.

He groans and I take advantage of his open mouth and kiss him deeply, grabbing his neck and pulling him to me, hooking my legs around his thighs.

He smiles against my lips, pulling softly away, “Easy, love, we have all night.” He chides, “Finish getting dressed, there’s something I want you to see.”

“Better than Luna Lake?”

“Better. Get ready.” He kisses me fast. “I’ll be back.”

* * *

Renall arrived shortly after sunset. I can tell because my skin started to get that flush to it, and everything is becoming more and more sensitive the longer I sit here and do my makeup. I found some of the bottles alongside the tub are perfumes, pigments, and kohl.

In his hands is a basket, and his other hand holds a curved bottle that almost looks like …

“Is that wine?”

“Moon wine.” He nods.

“I didn’t know the cave had alcohol.”

He doesn’t respond as he places the basket down on the couch, probably because he doesn’t understand. I step out from behind the bathroom curtain.

The green velvet dress fits me like a glove. The deep V-neck gives me the perfect amount of cleavage peeking out. The waist is cinched at the belly button, and it’s smooth like butter until it hits the floor.

Renall freezes as he turns around. His eyes trailing down me like he’s trying to memorize every detail. Only his mouth never says a word as it hangs open.

“Do you like it?”

He coughs as he chokes on words and growls before reaching for my hand. “You look amazing.”

My cheeks flush with color. “Onai brought me some dresses since I’m a member of the pack now.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t believe you are real.”

“It’s just a dress.” I shrug.

“No, it’s the kohl along your eyes, the golden shimmer of your hair, the way your eyes brighten up every room. You, Awe-tum, belong here. It is I who has never deserved you.”

“Are you kidding me, if it weren’t for you, I would have died those thousand deaths you always speak of. Don’t make me list them.”

He smirks. “Like a new fawn stumbling about, but you’re a doe now. Beautiful, sun-kissed doe.”

I have no words so I only grip onto him tighter.

“Are you ready?”

I nod, slipping into matching green slippers.

Reluctantly, I follow Renall through the cave. I’m technically still not mated, and it seems every time I leave the cave, madness ensues. But Renall seems self-assured, and as we trek through the halls, we are greeted with silence. Instead of using the hall that takes us to the waterfall, he leads me down the stairs and through the maze of tables on the ground floor and finally, through a door inlaid into the cavern wall. This hallway is dark and cool as Renall guides me through. It lacks the musty scent of the waterfall’s corridor. We travel along a winding corridor that finally stops at an iron gate wrapped in tendrils of ivy and moss. Renall opens it with ease and holds it for me. As I step out in the night air, I see the cliff in the distance. It’s not like the ledge around the waterfall like I was picturing, it’s a large, cavernous cliff with a drop that would be fatal. The night air smells sweet like jasmine as a chorus of crickets echo in the calm night. Closing my eyes, I sense the forest come alive under the full moon. Feel the rabbit in the next bush, and hear the owl a mile away. The trees rustle and sway on a cool breeze.

When I open my eyes again, Renall is watching me silently.

When he’s confident I’m done, he leads me through the woods toward the cliff. I allow my arm to fall at my side, releasing my power back into the Earth. Flowers sprout in a line behind us. Basking in the forest as it comes alive around me, making me feel stronger than ever. This is the closest I’ve ever felt to being alive.

When we arrive at the cliff, I lose my breath. The cliff ends in a steep drop to a lush valley with a bubbling river. And in the far distance, two mountain peaks rise up from the horizon. Gods, I bet this is amazing during sunset as well. Spinning around, I spy Renall setting up a blanket and basket under the canopy of a tree at the edge. He sits in the crook of the tree and motions for me to follow. Perfect. Tonight is perfect.

“It’s beautiful out here,” I state, slipping into his arms.

“Told you it’s better than Luna Lake,” he whispers against my forehead.

I smile. “I didn’t mind that view either as I recall.”

Lust trickles through the bond. I can only imagine him thinking the same memories I am. A few feet down a Guardian rises to the edge of the cliff and raises her hands. Slowly, the clouds in the sky trickle and float away, leaving the expanse of the night sky unhindered.

Stars twinkle against the ink sky that seems to go on forever. The round, luminous full moon is as large as I’ve ever seen it, stark against the dark night. Breathtaking. Absolutely breathtaking.

That’s when I notice the bond has gone silent. I glance over at Renall; he, too, is mesmerized by the large moon before us. Full moon. Werewolf.

“Would you like to transform?”

“Not yet,” he responds as he places his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. Once again, he smells of freshly mowed grass.

Barely restrained excitement trickles through the bond. “Yes, you do. Show me.”

He nods before rising, the lack of his warmth causing me to shiver as he takes a step forward. His spine and snout elongate, his hair spreads, and soon, a wolf is standing on all fours before me. The wolf looks to the moon. Admiration sinks into the bond, and power fills my gut. Slowly, a vibration tickles inside me; silent at first, until I hear it in the wolf’s throat. His jaws open and a howl echoes into the silent night.

I understand it. Feel its meaning through the bond. To some it just might seem like a wolf howling at the moon, but it speaks to something deeper, appreciation, respect. It’s their way of bowing to a deity, the Moon Goddess. Others join in. One or two howls at first, then more. Renall howls again. The howling is like a chorus of song that resonates around us, bouncing off the moon and back.

The wolves on the edge and cliff all around sit howling at the moon. My wolf, he looks so regal against the halo moon backdrop. He’s meant to lead. My Renall is an Alpha.

When we are mated, I will see it through. If Alpha is what he desires, we will attain it. Together we will lead the pack into the new era. We are strong enough, smart enough, cunning enough to survive it all. I can see it all clearly under the power of the moon.

Then suddenly, in a flash of energy, Renall is in human form. Slipping beside me on the picnic blanket and kissing me deeply. Could he have read my mind? His kiss is slow and gentle. But as the power and frenzy of the moon soaks into my skin, all I want is passion and fury.

He reaches for a piece of fruit and dangles it between my lips. I toss it aside. “Renall, I appreciate the seduction, but maybe that’s for later down the line. Right now, I need you inside of me.”

His shoulders tense as his eyes darken. Those fingers around my waist grip me tightly to him as he growls, low, and his vibrations tickle in just the right places. I whimper, pulling him over me.

“Not here. Because once we start, it is not to be interrupted all night.”