Page 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

AUTUMN

T he bond twists in nervous churning, and an underlying anger simmers behind it as always. The trial is really weighing on Renall, my senses are always intense when he’s there. These feelings are coming more and more the closer Renall and I are getting. Sometimes they become unbearable. But above all, they terrify me, his emotions being so open to me must mean mine are raw and open for him too. Even though we are separated throughout the day, it’s still so draining because the feelings, they never go away completely.

“Right?” Onai asks.

“Mhmm.” I groan. My arms reflexively wrap around my stomach.

Onai stands with her hand on her hips. “You weren’t listening to a word I was saying, were you?”

“Huh? Oh sorry.” I bite my bottom lip. “I was just …”

“Yeah, I get it,” she sighs. “it’s got to be hard, but you need to focus.”

“I will. I’m sorry, he just gets so tense during the day.”

“It’ll only get worse tonight.” She snickers, smirking to herself as she sits beside me.

“Why tonight?”

“It’s a full moon.”

“Full moon, werewolves—oh Gods, he’s going to wolf out on me?” My hands drop from my stomach to grip the couch.

“Not necessarily …”

“Come on, don’t clam up now.” I lean forward to slap her knee. “I need to know what I’m in for.”

“I guess it can’t hurt to warn you.”

“Warn me? Gods, this doesn’t sound good.” I stand to pace and let out some of this tension.

“There’s just certain expectations surrounding the full moon.” She shrugs, looking slightly uncomfortable.

“Expectations?” Great, just when I think I’m getting things around here, a new problem arises. A full moon. Is there nowhere safe anymore?

“Well, you know the full moon is when the Goddess is closest to us, so since the wolves were created to worship her, their power is greatest on the days of the full moon.”

“Wait … wolves were created to worship the Moon Goddess?” That’s not how Mother put it. Or maybe I just wasn’t paying attention.

“Wow, I guess we need to start at the pup level. From the dawn of creation, there was the Moon Goddess Luna, the Sun God Sol, Gale the Air Goddess, Ember and Ashes, the twin Fire Gods, and the Mother of all nature Queen Ophelia. They all lived in harmony on the Earth until Sol fell in love with Luna. Queen Ophelia was jealous because she had always loved Sol. They retreated to the sky leaving the harmony on Earth to be together. In her jealousy, the Queen banished them from the Earth to their own separate star, entirely cursing them to always be apart except for one day a year when their stars would cross paths.”

“An eclipse.” I gasp.

“Indeed …” Onai smiles before continuing. “Now, being on separate stars never diminished their love for each other, it only strengthened it. Sol created the wolves to keep Luna company and to worship her when he could not. That is why the wolves howl at the moon and their strength is drawn from it. Queen Ophelia created the Guardians as a way of preserving her Earth and reaching where she could not. Ophelia gifted them powers and gifts from the stars and Earth, including the Tree of Life. But Luna had the last laugh. She created an ancient bond, linking the Guardians and the wolves that Sol had created for her to always be linked and never lonely like she is.”

“That’s actually a sweet story.” I’ve definitely never heard it that way before. There’s only one reason Mother would keep this from me, I don’t think she ever wanted me to know because maybe I would’ve realized there’s more to this life than the cabin.

“That’s why wolves love the moon, they were created to worship her. It also fuels their power. When men or wolf get drunk on power, they will always look for ways to release it. Guardians bonded to their wolf will feel its effects as well. I’ve never felt it before, but it’s said to be like riding the highest high.”

“So these expectations …”

“Let’s just say, if you don’t want to mate tonight you should probably lock your door and barricade yourself in. It makes wolves wild, and not just yours, the single ones will be crazed with no outlet as well. The wolves usually head out to the cliff to watch the full moon unfold. Renall will probably be among them. If you don’t want to engage in the festivities, I wouldn’t leave your room.”

I sigh, making a silent note that most of the wolves are going to be out tonight. “I feel like I never leave this room.”

“If you want to leave the cave, you know what you have to do … or should I say, who you have to do.” She winks.

“And I know that if I do that, I will be tethered to this cave forever.” I sigh.

She pauses before asking, “Is that really so bad?”

I try to meet her eyes, but they are downcast. “That came out wrong, I just meant it’s not my home …”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Onai looks down at her feet as well. “I hope one day you feel differently. I kind of like having you around.”

A smile graces my face as I glance at her. “I like having you around as well. For the first time in a long time, I feel like you understand.”

“Same.” She sighs.

“I don’t think I could mate tonight even if I wanted to. I meant to ask you if you have more tampons.”

“I have a few more. They were on the list for the supply run, but they haven’t returned yet.”

“Well, I hope they come back soon. The energy in the cave is a little on edge, and I don’t think it’s from the trial.”

“Indeed. Speaking of, should we check to see what is going on today?”

“Yes, let’s see what atrocities Renall has to atone for today.” We head toward the door and Onai opens it a crack and peeks her head out. A crack is all we need to hear the growling language echoes through the cave enough for Onai to translate. Leaning over, I sneak a look around the center of the cave.

Renall’s green eyes meet mine immediately. They hold me, pin me in place as my heart speeds up. The anxiety in our bond turns molten and sets my body on fire. It’s hard to breathe, but Renall has that stoic face he always has. The spell breaks when he finally turns away, toward the crowd, to respond to a question.

My eyes travel around the faces of the crowd. It’s different today, the pack is antsy and distracted. Some fidget in their chairs, others pace behind them.

“Does the cave seem off today?” I finally ask.

“Huh?” Onai asks, ears listening to the pack. “Oh yeah, it’s the full moon, they can feel it coming in their bones. They always get a little rowdy leading up to it.”

Renall’s growling voice echoes around the cave, causing my attention to gravitate to him. The bond zings with anger so fast it startles me, and I wobble slightly.

“Oh, they brought up Cora.” Onai places her hand over her mouth.

“Who is Cora?” My stomach twists with a feeling I’ve never felt before. Another woman’s name was enough to ignite jealousy within me.

“His first Guardian,” she tells me nonchalantly, as if hearing that name didn’t just shred me to pieces internally.

His first and only Guardian before me is what remains unspoken between us. The only other woman he’s ever mated. Knowing the name of Renall’s former lover makes me want to leap out of my skin and burn the place to the ground. Where is this coming from?

And why would they bring her up as a bad act? The question remains on my tongue, but I don’t have the guts to ask. I’m afraid the answer will make me think less of Renall.

Interrupting my thoughts, another harsh growl emanates around the cave. I know that growl, I look down to find the onyx wolf with the scarred face reply something at Renall. I can’t understand his words, but his tone is filled with anger and resentment. “Who is the scarred black wolf?”

“Oh, that’s Leland.”

“He hates Renall. I’ll never forget the way his onyx wolf form looked at me that day on the ledge … it was so desperate .”

There’s a pause as Onai bites her bottom lip before starting, “A few centuries back, Leland felt the pull of his Guardian, but he was not allowed to leave. Unlike Renall, he obeyed and remained in the cave. His Guardian went on to live life, and eventually, without the mating bond, she died.”

“During that time, he would have still felt the pull and her emotions …”

“Yes, I can’t even imagine the torture that must have been for him to have felt her and know she was just finally here, yet unable to act on it.”

“No wonder he despises Renall so much.”

“And he would do anything for a mate, whether it’s his or not. Don’t take your eyes off him.” Her stern warning makes me sit straighter against the cave wall.

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

What she doesn’t know is that I don’t take my eyes off any of them. Renall is the only one I feel a connection to, and now seeing how many wrongdoings he has to answer for to the pack is making me doubt whether he’s the kind of man I’d want to be tied to for the rest of my life. I thought Renall was the one guy I was safe from … now I’ve got to add, might screw me senseless every full moon whether consensual or not. No, this is not the place I want to be. This is not the place that I would want to raise children in. The world has grown by leaps and bounds for women’s rights, I will not go back in time. I’d rather take my chances out there in the real world on my own. It took the hunters years before they found me and Colton. Without a wolf I’m hoping I will be harder to find. Because since Renall refuses to leave with me, I will be forced to leave on my own. Colton and I had this dream to move to a small town on the coast and open up a florist shop. I’ll have to do that alone now, but it can be done. I can start over alone. My Mother did.

With the decision made, I pack my backpack and wait for midnight.