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Chapter Thirty-Three

RENALL

T he rushing sound of the falls resounds around me. My legs kick out and barely reach the cascading power of the water. My bottom half dangling dangerously close to the edge. That’s how I feel about this trial, my growing love for Awe-tum, that I’m teetering dangerously close to an edge and about to fall into oblivion. Today almost destroyed me. I left the cave to get some perspective and when I return … Their blood still stains my hands no matter how many times I run them under the rushing waters. I wish it would be permanent, a beacon to anyone who dared attack me or mine. I would burn this place to the ground if it meant protecting my soulbonded mate.

Unfortunately, Zev is starting to see that too. I can now see the trial for what it is, a hoax. Zev must show impartiality, but he knew opening it up to a public forum would not bode well for me. He knew this would happen. The pack just ate it up. They have been waiting for this moment since, well, since Cora. The poison that Leland spread about me seeped into every vine and crevice in this place until this pack has no more love for me.

That is not what is breaking my heart. The insane sense of pain comes from the fact that I willingly brought Awe-tum into this. We should have run. We could have kept going, hid in plain sight in some town far away. A fresh start for both of us. But no; instead, I brought her into this world and willingly carried her to either her death or mine. She will never forgive me. She has suffered enough loss, and I will no doubt bring her even more before the day’s end. First Colton’s death, now mine. She will never fully recover from this and it’s my fault. That will only be the first of the atrocities to await her once I’m gone and done shielding her from what the Protector Clan has become. A brutal shell of what it was under Queen Gweneviere and Ronen’s rule.

The moon is high and hidden behind clouds when my feet take me back to our cave. It’s quiet and illuminated only by the moon rocks scattered throughout. Awe-tum is tucked away in bed as I approach. Her breathing even, her face calm. She looks so peaceful, so beautiful. I just crouch and watch her. Sleep will not find me tonight. When I confront my fate, I want to remember every detail of her perfect face so it will be the last thing I see in this world and the first I see in the next.

* * *

The cave is buzzing as I make my way to the dais. Zev and Lupe are already waiting. Lupe sits hanging off the Queen’s throne, a slight jab I don’t miss. Sitting on it completely would be treason, but hanging off it easily and lazily hints that she knows the Queen will never reappear, that she is assuming the position. Lupe’s smile has always been welcoming and inviting to me; now I see it for what it truly is—a viper waiting to strike. All these years I thought us friends, but the only thing they were looking for is power.

So I gave it to them wrapped in a big red bow. With Cora’s death, I was no Alpha leader, and I would earn no votes, so I let Zev take it without a fight. I half expect they planned this all along. Everything I’ve worked so hard to attain—to earn—has fallen apart. It is fitting that here in the heart of the cave where I was birthed is where I will take my last breath. Fitting end for a very long life I’ve lived. My only regret is my mate. A mate whom I unwillingly led into the viper’s den. I pray to Sol she’ll forgive me.

As if my thoughts could summon her, Awe-tum appears from our cave. She’s wearing all black from her head down to her leggings, as she calls them, that shape her legs and that perfect ass. She’s a stark contrast to the long, colorful dresses the Guardians wear. Her golden locks tied up behind her are swishing from side to side as she treks down the two flights of stairs.

She’s flanked by two werewolf bodyguards. Gale and Hunt, wolves I assumed were my friends, wolves I fought alongside and bled with are ushering my mate down the ledge and steps like a slab of meat on a platter. Her eyes scan the crowd, her lip tucked under her top teeth like she does when she’s nervous. She has no idea their minds are already decided, no idea the fate that awaits her. My heart breaks as she’s paraded up the center aisle. Her honey eyes lock on mine, and unwavering they hold them until she steps up the dais steps and is positioned on a stump on the other end of the thrones. She spies Zev in his Alpha seat and Lupe hanging off the Queen’s throne and hides a disgusted look. After only being here for a few months, she has already learned so much about our culture. Awe-tum amazes me some days. She will make a fine mate and give the next wolf quite a bit of a shock.

Zev stands and walks to the edge of the dais. “Renall of Warrior Clan,” Zev announces. The loud cave silences. “You have been charged with disobeying an Alpha order and various other crimes against the clan. This public trial has reviewed every crime in detail, and we are here to determine your fate.”

His eyes never meet mine. Even if they did, they hold no love for me anymore. I realized that the night he came to my room with the newspaper. My mate was in trouble, and he was more concerned about the implications it had for the clan; even threatened her. Do you know how many times I’ve saved his ass for Lupe? Zev is many things. I observed as I trained him and we turned friends—one thing was always clear to me, he was a coward. I don’t think for one second Alpha was his idea. That has Lupe written all over it. I didn’t lie when I said this place changed her, but the truth is, Zev changed her when he mated her without her permission. From that moment, she made it her job to be the best. When I realized things had changed between us and he threatened my mate, I knew I sealed my fate with the words I told him. “You better dread the day she does mate with me, Zev, because she is the only thing between me and Alpha, and we both know it.”

“Before we begin with the vote, do you have any last words to assuage your verdict?” He turns to me then and takes a step back, allowing me room.

Slowly, I rise to my feet to meet my fate.