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Chapter Twenty-Five

AUTUMN

T he cave is quiet tonight, the night of the full moon. The hum and vibrations that usually echo through me are gone. It feels … weird. Silence in the normally rambunctious cave is deafening. To fill the emptiness, my mind is running rampant. Pacing back and forth in the cave, I’m worrying about whether Renall is going to come in like a live zombie crazed by the moon ready to hump me to death. Everything with these wolves is new and crazy and getting weirder by the second. I glance at the chair propped up against the door. Will that chair even hold off a horny wolf on a full moon? I’m not sure, but it’s better than nothing.

My escape must be tonight, Onai already told me that everyone goes outside on the cliff to watch the full moon. Since Renall still hasn’t stopped into the cave, I assume that’s where he is as well. It’s my one chance to escape unnoticed, just like their Queen did so many years ago. I hate to think I’m abandoning him just as she did, but I can’t stay here and do this. Renall deserves someone who was made for this. It’s better if I leave now before we’ve had any real intimacy. He can re-mate if he gets the chance to and he won’t have to wait for me to die. Renall can get a better Guardian, one whom the pack approves of. One who can really protect him.

Because that person is not me.

* * *

Slowly, fresh leaves sprout across the vines along the wall. As the fire dies down, I can make out that the cave is lighting up. Glowing green moon rocks trickle on across the cavern walls. I follow it across the wall and toward the door. Placing my ear to the door, it’s still silent. After removing the chair, I open it slowly and peek one eye out. The cave is certainly empty. With my backpack slung over my shoulder, I sneak out of the door and close it behind me. The glowing green vines wrap around the door and scale the wall all the way to the apex above the center of the cavern and spiral down like a chandelier before bursting into white blossoms. It’s gorgeous. Nature’s perfect decoration.

It’s now or never as I continue looking around. I don’t belong here. I’ve been a liability to Renall since the day we met. Since Renall’s already on thin ice, he’ll never be allowed to leave to find me again. Maybe with me not being here, he will get a better trial. I keep telling myself, as inch by inch I creep across the ledge toward the steps. Not a soul is seen. Not a growl is uttered. Hope floods my veins and rushes to my feet, which makes me break into a run. Down the steps, through the doorway, and only a corridor and leap from the waterfall to freedom. Fresh air. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed the outside, crisp fresh air in my lungs, sun beating down on my face, or even the hum of rushing water. I’m close, I’m so close to that freedom I can taste it.

Heart racing, fists pumping, I’m flying down the corridor. My heart beating so loud in my ears I almost don’t hear it. But then it comes again. A low, drawn-out growl behind me. I freeze.

“Rawe-tum?” His voice is soft and cracks with emotion. The hurt in his voice breaks me in half.

Slowly, I turn to face Renall, his eyes glowing green in the darkness as he approaches. The hurt is displayed on his face and echoes across the bond and into my heart. His pain, disappointment, but above all, sorrow.

“I … I …” The words don’t come as his emotions still ache inside me, my actions are clear. His hurt echoes inside me. He’s his normal self. Not moon crazed or moon drunk ready to hump me into the ground. Maybe I overexaggerated. I shrug, tears welling in my eyes.

He groans a long, painful sound, shaking his head as he continues toward me slowly.

“I think we both know I don’t belong here, Renall. And you deserve someone better than what I can offer you. And … and I can’t lose someone else again. I can’t go through this agony one more time.” The tears fall freely now. I turn away from him, continuing down the corridor toward the waterfall.

“No, Rawe-tum.” He wraps a warm hand around my wrist, the bond between us aching. A growl escapes him and echoes in the dark cave, but then I hear his voice in my head pleading, “No, please.”

It’s clear as day and in my language. I spin around to face him, his hand slips from my grip.

“What did you just say?”

He looks surprised at my sudden spin, but his face is still confused, and it’s apparent he doesn’t understand me like I did him. What was different? His arm on me—we were touching.

I grab his hand. “What did you just say?” I ask aloud.

He flinches, eyes widening as understanding flashes across his face. “Please, please, don’t go,” he repeats.

“I can hear you!” I shriek. “I can hear you clear in my head.”

He smiles, holding my hand in his as he growls, “I can understand you too, Rawe-tum.”

“Autumn.” I smirk at his accent upon my name. “My name is pronounced Awwwe-tum.”

“Awe-tum,” he repeats perfectly in my mind. Finally, we are communicating. “Where are you going, my Awe-tum?”

I pause, his voice is smooth like butter in my mind and tickling my senses. “I … I just don’t belong here, Renall. I’m not made for this. I’ve been nothing but trouble for you since the day you felt that bond. I thought if I … well, if I wasn’t …”

He listens intently to my every word before releasing a sigh. “The best trouble.” He growls the words into my mind.

Emotions swirl inside me, whether mine or his, I can’t decipher anymore. My eyes well with tears again as I whisper, “I can’t lose you too.” There it is. The real reason I want to leave before it gets too serious. I can’t lose him like I did Colton. He squeezes my hand.

We stand there in silence, holding each other’s hand, eyes watching the other before he responds, “ Can I show you something?”

“I …” I glance behind me at the vacant corridor.

“If you still want to leave afterward, I will let you.”

“You will just let me leave?”

“I know sometimes it feels like it, but you are not a prisoner here. The precautions were for your own protection at times and keeping our location secret for others. But if you want to leave, I will never force you to stay.”

A stray tear escapes, tracing its way down my cheek. He’d let me leave. But the real question is, would the others? Would Lupe?

I allow him to lead me by the hand back down the hallway toward the cavern. The window of opportunity to leave diminishing with every step. Yet I follow. Unable to stop my feet from following this man once again. What is it about him that makes me trust him?

Once we enter the central cavern, we take the stairs down to the floor level and pass through the dark entryway to our left.

“Watch your step.”

I hear the words filtered into my mind. Just before my eyes adjust to the darkness, my foot misses the step and I lose my footing. Strong arms grab me before I tumble down the dark stairs. Lifting me back up, my body slides up his painfully slow. Every second my body touches his naked skin, warm tingles of sparks flicker through the length of me, until we are face to face. His green eyes still glowing in the dark pin me in place. Gods, his lips look so perfect right now.

“Okay?” he asks, breaking the silent spell between us.

“Yeah.” I take a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

He nods, grabbing my hand again and slowly descending the stairs. The darkness is thick and impossible to see through, but I can tell they curve and wind. There’s a dripping sound echoing up the chasm. The air grows humid and intolerably thicker as we descend, making it hard to breathe. The farther we go, the more I’m reminded how out of shape I am.

Finally, we reach the bottom, and as we step through a stone-carved doorway, the room is lit up with green moonstones illuminating our way. The steps widen until they disappear into sand. There’s sand and rock under my feet. Before me is a huge cavern, twice the size of the cave upstairs. Only inside this cavern is an entire lake, an actual lake is before me, hidden deep within a cave. Steam rises from its blue-green surface. This underground lake is sandwiched between two grassy ledges that grow taller the farther away from shore they get. Along these sides are all kinds of plant life. Trees grow along and burst out of the cave wall. I recognize tomato plants, and bushes of berries and fruit. Not to mention flowers of all colors and sizes sprouting between them. This must be Onai’s garden she is always bragging about. Its size alone is impressive, but to grow plants underground without direct sunlight—well, that is an accomplishment.

The far wall of the cave at the deepest part of the lake is lined with copper piping, and at the top, barely visible from where I stand, appear to be two windows … no, they might be balconies overlooking the gardens and the lake. Despite being underground, it’s not dark at all because a gold glow emanates from the far corner. He points, reaching for my hand. “ This is what I wanted to show you.”

The glow is coming from a singular tree. A tree that looks like it was dipped into a vat of pure gold. Tall enough that its leaves touch the enormous cavern ceiling, and its roots climb deep into the water. It’s breathtaking. Not only that, ancient power trickles from it like waves.

“You see, we are not just protectors of nature or wolves. Our true purpose of the Protector Clan is to protect and keep the secret of the Tree of Life.”

“The Tree of Life, you’ve got to be joking?”

“Of this, I would not joke.”

“The Tree of Life is here, the tree that can give or take life at will in this cave?”

“The tree doesn’t just give life; it is responsible for it. To harm or even remove the Tree of Life from this spot is to destroy all of nature.”

“All nature?”

“That is why this Clan is the most important, this is why I’ve stayed here so long. That is why I’ve brought you here and risked this.”

What he’s saying is that the demons can never find this, we must protect it. It’s our duty blessed to us by the Gods.

“The Protector Clan is dwindling; they need all the help they can get to keep this protected–”

His eyes are alive … he’s so passionate about this. “Exactly, Awe-tum. Do you understand our true purpose?”

“I do. Why wouldn’t Lupe, or even Onai, just tell me?”

“She’s ordered everyone not to.”

“She hates me.” I shake my head, “I can’t understand why; what did I do?”

“I believe she sees herself in you. You are another version of what her life could have been.”

“I don’t understand.” My brows furrow.

“It’s not my story to tell.”

“This place has so many secrets.”

“I’m sure you will learn them all—if you want to stay.”

I sigh, tearing my eyes away from the mesmerizing Tree of Life.

That’s the big question isn’t it. Do I want to stay here … with him?

The greenish glow from the moon rocks and the golden glow from the tree shimmer and swirl across the surface of the lake. It makes my skin warm and flush. Even though I’m below the Earth’s surface, I feel as though I’m outside. The air is crisp. The scent of flowers tickles my nose. The flush of the glow against my skin, the warm air emanating from the lake soothing me. It reminds me of how my garden at the cabin did. Comfortable, at ease, warm. This place feels more like home than the cave upstairs does.

I’m so busy admiring the cave lake, I hadn’t noticed Renall has slipped from my grasp and is wading into the water before me. The glimmering golden tree basking his bare back in a glistening tan. I glance over my shoulder, toward the steps behind me. The clock is ticking with every second I stay here … and yet—my feet won’t move. Renall said I could leave after he showed me this, now I understand why. These wolves are primal, territorial, and scary, but they aren’t just humping and hiding … they have a purpose. A big purpose—to protect the Tree of Life.

The tree that’s said to give life as well as take it. A tree older than the world. Mother used to tell us stories of a world built around a magical tree that breathes life itself. The Protector Clan is protecting the actual fricken Tree of Life. Its energy radiates off it. The power it holds is immense. Maybe these wolves are honorable … deep down.

Renall is deeper in the water, now waist deep, waiting. Giving me my own space to make this decision. How can I leave a purpose like this? How can I leave him?

Renall.

Always patient, always waiting for me. Truth is, I don’t want to venture alone. That beach town dream was for me to share with someone. Maybe I can change his mind about leaving one day—maybe I’ll see where this goes.