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Chapter Twenty-Eight

AUTUMN

A kiss on my forehead followed by the slamming of a door wakes me. Renall has left me for the day once again. When I twist my head toward the night table stump, another golden flower is perched on it. He’s been trying to tell me all along about the tree, so maybe his little gifts weren’t a courting ritual.

This trial seems to stretch on forever. How many questions can they really have? Then another question hits me, how many transgressions does Renall have? With that thought in the back of my mind, I rush to get dressed before Onai gets here. I wouldn’t want her to see me bare naked with my skin red from Renall’s beard all over me.

I’m slipping my pants on when Onai knocks twice on the door. I let her in, attempting to hide the smile I can’t shake from my face.

“Whoa, this place smells like sex,” she comments as soon as she walks past the threshold.

“Uh, no … I mean–”

“I guess the full moon had its effect on you after all.” Onai collapses onto the couch with a smug grin. Her velvet dress is a deep purple today, making her tan skin appear darker.

“Are my services even needed anymore?”

My cheeks flame. “Well, we did a lot of … stuff, but not that .” She flashes me a knowing look and I change the subject. “How were you not affected?” I rub my sore thigh muscles and sit down beside her.

“My Mother makes me a sleeping potion every full moon and locks me in my room.” Onai shrugs.

“I guess that’s better than hearing your parents doing it all night.”

“First of all, ew! Second of all, there is nothing wrong with mating or the Joining. It’s one of our most basic and primal instincts to procreate—it doesn’t hurt that it also feels amazing.” Of course, she’d say that. That’s probably all she knows. People are mating all over the place here, she’s probably immune to it.

“And how do you know how it feels?” I tease playfully, smacking her arm.

She hides a sly smile, cheeks reddening, “I’m not joined or anything, but since I could have my pick of any of these wolves and they know it. A few have … made some convincing arguments.”

“Convincing, I see. And? Any suitors in particular that appeal to you?”

She shrieks, swinging her legs onto the couch underneath her. “I don’t want to jinx it, but there is someone. Trefaun. He has his own cave, and he’s only a century older than me, but he’s going to ask my father for permission to court me.”

“He needs permission? Don’t they preach about urges and instincts. Why would he need permission?”

“The Alpha order, remember?”

“Oh,” I pause. “So because of this Alpha order no one can … harm you? But they can finger fuck you all they like?” My voice comes out sterner than I expected. But she must know how wrong this sounds.

“Oh my Gods, Autumn, they can’t harm me, and I have to give them permission to finger fuck me thank you very much.”

“Why can’t he give this Alpha order to the whole pack? Why are wolves allowed to force themselves on anyone unmated?”

“It would be taking away their most basic instinct, there would be chaos. With no Queen to control them … they would revolt against her. Restricting them from one eligible Guardian is one thing, but all of them. Some wolves would never stand a chance.”

“Yeah, the nasty and conniving ones who don’t deserve a Guardian.” My mind wanders to that dark onyx wolf.

“But they are our best warriors. If they don’t have a Guardian, they wouldn’t stand a chance outside the cave … I guess there’s a balance to everything.”

“A balance, but at what cost? Our freedom? Our rights?”

“I don’t know, this is all I’ve ever known. The Queen was gone before I was born.”

“This Queen … she kept the balance?”

“So I’ve heard. Without her, it was left to the wolves, and the cave descended into chaos and blood. That was before the Alpha War, and an Alpha rose up and started issuing orders and making laws.”

“What happens if the Queen comes back?”

“Oh, she’s not coming back … she’s dead,” she states calmly.

“Wow, how do you know that if no one knew where she went?”

“It’s been said the cavern used to be alive. These scarce vines and flowers you see all around are nothing compared to what it looked like when a Queen sat on the throne. The Moon Flower is one of her creations. This place used to be covered from floor to ceiling in plant life and flowers. The waterfall outside used to gush, and the lagoon outside used to have so much water it created a river going south. The wolves were powerful, something to be feared. This place is a shell of what it once was.” Her voice is soft, reverent for a place she’s never seen. I admit, I wish I could have seen it in its prime too.

“Renall didn’t tell me any of that.”

“Well, you couldn’t really understand him if he did.”

“Actually, we’ve been able to communicate with touch lately.”

“Really?” Her ears perk up, surprised. “Without the Joining?”

I nod since Onai knows where I stand on the Joining. “Do you know how that could happen?”

She shrugs. “I guess it’s not impossible; your bond has strengthened. Maybe you are soulbonded.”

“Besides making love all night, I see you have been practicing your gift?” She points all along the walls of the cave.

“Uh, no, not practicing per se.” Heat floods my cheeks.

“No?”

“It just sort of happens when we … I get excited.”

“Oh … oh Goddess, I’m staring at your plant babies. My eyes. My virgin eyes.” Onai rubs at her eyes.

I playfully nudge her. “Oh shush, I’m sure you saw worse just walking up here.”

“True. The pack is not prudish.”

“Quite the opposite, in fact.”

We meet each other’s gaze and immediately burst into a fit of giggles.

“Okay, okay.” I reel my giggling in. “I would like to try and train today if you’re up for it.”

“I wouldn’t want to wear you out before Renall got home.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I roll my eyes.

“Let’s go, show me what you’ve got.” She slaps her hands on her legs and waits for me expectantly.

I close my eyes like Onai has taught me to do. Reaching down into that inner power, I grab ahold and draw it forward, toward my palms. The skin in my palm warms in that familiar glow when I use my power. Petals begin to open one by one, spreading in the skin-colored flower I can make on command now.

“Good, that is great, faster than usual,” Onai comments, “Now, let’s try and do something with it. Change its color or get it bigger, taller. Do what you feel.”

I nod, not trying to lose my focus on the flower between my hands. My eyes stare at the petals. I want it to change to pink. They start to darken slightly, changing slowly from the inside out.

Suddenly, rage trickles down the bond and into my gut. More raw and open than usual. I fight to hold back a snarl as I leap to my feet.

“What’s wrong?” Onai stands, alarmed, walking toward the door.

“Renall,” I mutter, still holding onto the flower in my hand. My inner anger is reacting to his and the petals of the flower in my hand turn from pink to blood red. The fury rises still. I clench my fist, attempting to hold it at bay and trying to prevent myself from running out the door.

“It’s just the trial,” Onai comments as she peeks out the door. “He’s just responding to a question. You must just be more in tune to him than usual.”

My hands are shaking with the anger that’s slowly receding from the bond. I raise them slightly when Onai gasps. Wetness drips from my hand and onto the floor. It’s red like the petals were and it smells coppery like blood.

“Oh my.” Onai reaches for a cloth to clean my hand, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I … I don’t know.” But as I wipe the blood away with my finger, there is no wound. “No, I’m not hurt.” I find my words and take the cloth from her. “It felt so strong. I felt it like my own anger.”

“Yes, your bond is growing. You’ll have to figure out a way to understand your bond so you can control it.”

“That’s never happened before. My power changed with my thoughts and feelings. They turned … dark.”

“It happens when our powers are linked to emotions, they can become unreliable.”

“It’s not coming off,” I comment, scrubbing my hand with the cloth. Tossing my hair over my shoulder with my other hand, I scrub it harder.

“Is that what I think it is?” Onai is pointing to my neck.

In all the shuffle, I forgot I was hiding the bite mark on my neck. “Oh … I…”

“Oh my Goddess, you did mate last night.”

“Uh …” My cheeks flush with heat. “We didn’t mate , but we did a lot of other stuff.”

“You let him claim you? But didn’t mate?”

“I’m menstruating.”

“Like that’s ever stopped a man before.”

“Um …I trust him, I just don’t know if I’m willing to tie my fate to his. Definitely not because some moon possessed me to.”

“Give it time,” Onai states.

What I want to tell her, though, is that time is not on my side.