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Chapter Two

AUTUMN

T he walk home from work is refreshing as always. Something about the fresh air always seems to put my mind at ease. The scent of the moist earth and blooming flowers hits me and my eyes automatically close. That’s one thing my Mother instilled in us at an early age, a love and appreciation of nature.

As I walk down the road, the sun shines down on me as it breaks through the trees. The worry washes away in these moments when it’s just me and the trees—things are bigger than me. The tension in my shoulders melts with the summer sun. It gives the responsibilities I carry on them some perspective. He is my brother, the only family I have left. Opening my eyes, my anger dissipates until it is all but evaporated. I didn’t realize I’d stopped walking in my little reverie, and I pick up the pace as I head for our tiny cabin.

The little red mailbox standing erect at the edge of the street indicates the turn-off to my dirt driveway. The overgrown path winds until it opens to a small clearing where our four-room cabin sits nestled between two tall pine trees. It’s not much to look at, but it’s where we grew up and holds the memory of my Mother. I never knew my father. When I started school, I saw other families with two parents. I’d asked my Mother where my father was, and she explained he’d died before I was born. Three years later, she told me I would have a brother. I didn’t understand until I was older that it meant we have different fathers. Since neither Colton nor I knew our fathers, Mother was our everything—and now she’s gone.

I try to be that for Colton. I wish I knew how Mother would handle his attitude as of late. But as I walk through the front door that that’s like wishing for something that is impossible. Colton has his back to me, reaching into the cupboard above the sink as I enter. I glance down to the coffee table in the living room and eye the white pizza box and a bottle of soda sitting there.

“What the …”

Turning to face me with two glasses in his hands and a huge smile, he proclaims, “I got dinner.”

“With what money?” I snap, my hands clenching against the back of the couch.

“I have my ways,” he slyly tells me, putting the glasses on the edge of the coffee table and tips open the box of pizza.

“I’m sure you do,” I grumble to myself before the smell of melted cheese hits me and I crumble. It’s been so long since we’ve splurged on something as simple as pizza. My stomach would revolt on me if I didn’t give in and take a slice.

Throwing my purse on the floor, I hop over the back of the couch and sink to my knees before the pizza, grabbing a cheese slice. The other half of the pie has every type of meat possible. Sausage, bacon, ham, and I think I smell anchovies. My face scrunches, but Colton dives right in like a ravenous animal devouring two slices at once. Geez, his appetite lately is insane.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he cautiously starts when he finally comes up for air before shoving down another slice.

“I shouldn’t have snapped like that,” I admit. His soft green eyes make it hard for me to stay mad at him. My brother will always be a piece of me. I sense his regret and sorrow deep in my heart like it’s my own.

“No, I deserved it. I wrecked the place.” The promise of pizza momentarily distracted me, and I finally remember how I left the house with the mess he made. Everything is cleaned up, most of the shelves are now sitting bare, and the old, red cooler is replaced by a brand-new blue one. Apparently, he bought more than just dinner.

“You cleaned it all up?”

“Yeah, it took all day.” Which means he didn’t go to school again today. “I really did a number on the place,” he jokes, flashing me a smile, finally. For some reason, I still see my sweet little brother in his eyes, and not the unruly teenager he has become. We need to be on the same page because we are all each other has left in this world.

“Mother used to make that face,” Colton interrupts. “When she was doing her full-moon ritual and I would mimic her behind her back to make you laugh.”

“Yeah, then she would send me into the woods alone to ‘listen for the call of the wolf,’ whatever that means.” I roll my eyes and a small smile appears on my lips at the memory of our Mother.

“You’re more like her than you could possibly imagine,” he states reverently. His pointed gaze searches mine for a moment before he shakes his head.

“I hope you’re right.” I mean it, my Mother was a strong, independent woman who raised us both without our fathers. She never complained, always made us thank the Earth for providing, and even though she was a terrible shut-in, she would do anything and everything for her children. It’s an honor to be compared to her.

“I know so,” he mutters more to himself than to persuade me.

Colton inhales one of my remaining two slices, and I take control of the conversation, “Have you been applying to colleges?”

His smile fades. “I was going to talk to you about that …” He drops the half-eaten slice in the box.

“About what? Colton, you know we have been starving ourselves and busting our asses, and now you want to blow it?”

“It’s not that …” He looks away, fighting some internal dilemma.

“Then what is it?” I throw the crust of my slice back into the box.

“I just feel like we need a change of scenery. There’s a house I’ve been looking at for sale in Lexington, and they are looking for workers in the power plant down there.” I clench my fists as he continues, “Matteus says he’d move, too, and pay us rent for the third bedroom. Between the three incomes, I think we could make it work. Who knows, we might be able to save up to move to the coast and start that nursery one day.”

“Colton, what about school? I thought we agreed–”

“Things have changed,” he cuts me short in that demanding tone he used on the phone. That type of assertive tone I don’t appreciate, and I won’t tolerate the disrespect. Mother never did.

“Things? Or you ?”

“Both.”

We glare at each other for a long time. A silent test of wills until I sigh, defeated, “Colton, I can’t think about this right now.” I throw my hands up in the air before climbing to my feet and heading for my room.

“Autumn …” he calls after me.

“No. I wanted better for you.” I spin on my heels and point at him. “I wanted you to go to school and be better than this place. Get out of this town and make something of yourself.”

“I am becoming something,” he screams, punching his fists into the table before climbing to his feet. His eyes glare in a wave of anger that I’ve never seen from him before. I take a step back, suddenly filled with apprehension. “Who says I have to go to school to become something? It’s my life too. I’m allowed to decide my own fate.” He pauses to take a deep breath as I stare at him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him talk like this; we’ve always been on the same page—always been a team. Why the sudden change?

“And what about you, Autumn? What happens to you when I go away? Am I just supposed to leave you behind? If we move somewhere together, we start a new life, together .”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“If I didn’t, who will? You won’t. All you care about is me .”

“I promised Mother,” I whisper, looking down at my feet.

“I made promises too …” He waits until I lift my eyes again to make sure his words sink in. I open my mouth, but don’t know what to say—I don’t think it ever crossed my mind that he would have had a conversation with Mother. He was so young; what could she have possibly said to him? Turning away from him, I open my bedroom door.

“This conversation isn’t over, we need to leave this place. I can’t stay here any longer!”

At that I slam the door behind me. This place was good enough for Mother, it should be good enough for him.

Climbing into bed, I pull the covers up before reaching over to wind up my alarm clock. Before I do, I pet my little orchid plant that sits beside my bed. When Vicky threatened to throw it away at work, she called herself a plant murderer and ranted about how useless potted plants were when long-stemmed roses do just fine. I couldn’t let her just throw it away. At first, when I took it home, I thought she might be right. Its leaves were all brown, but I refused to give up. I took it home, removed all the dead roots and leaves, and instead of potting it again, I placed it in a simple cup of water. With plenty of sun, it came back bright pink and better than ever. Now it sits beside my bed so I can look at it daily. Today it’s in full bloom, petals open wide to wish me goodnight, the scent of sweet vanilla filling the room and calming my soul. I smile before rolling over.

My head doesn’t even hit the pillow before I hear Colton pacing around outside my room. Then the front door opens and closes behind him. Typical . I scamper out of bed and pull the curtains back. Watching as Colton makes his way to the edge of the forest and disappears into the line of trees. Not toward the street, but into the forest. Ugh Gods, why are all my plans going to hell?