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Chapter Eighteen

AUTUMN

A fter Renall had realized I was okay after asking if I was okay, five more times, he left the cave. Probably to answer for the mutiny that happened today.

As the emptiness of the cave without him sinks in, the cramps start to surface, and that’s how I find myself in the large geode tub. With all its hard edges, I expect it to be rough and sharp but it’s surprisingly smooth on the inside. The purple rock shimmers along with the green moon rocks, causing a swirling pattern to illuminate the tiny space. Casting oil slick swirls all across the rounded ceiling. Tendrils of steam spiral up from the water as I sink into its depths.

My muscles are starting to relax, the cramps losing their strength as I attempt to calm my mind. Today was insane. Ever since I’d arrived at Luna Cavern, I’ve been almost killed twice. If Renall hadn’t saved me … I don’t know if I’d be here right now. I shiver in the warm bath because I’ve never been the type to need saving. After Mother passed, I was the strong one. I had to be. Now here in this place, for the first time in my life—I’m the weakest link. How much longer can I survive here? No, something has to be done. To put it quite simply, I’ll need to learn this new flower power, quickly, or I’ll have to leave.

My skin tingles. A weird sensation swirls in my gut until it turns into emotions. A flash of anger roils through me before it slowly simmers to a dull roar. Angst, and finally a need that I can’t quite place. It feels something like safety or being safe, maybe providing safety in some capacity. I understand now, this sixth sense I feel with Renall—it’s a different bond than me and Colton had. The feelings are stronger, intimate even.

A bond, between me and a handsome, always-naked stranger. The long, lingering looks he gives me, the smirks and smiles even though he can’t understand a word I say. It’s downright sexy sometimes.

My face flushes. Power slowly seeping into my hands. The feeling surprises me and I clench my hands.

The door to the cave opens as I’m starting to stand to my feet. Vines spiral out of my hand and latch onto the wall. It spreads across its surface like a million spiders creeping into the shadows.

“Shit. Oh shit. No. no. no. no.”

Renall voice calls from the other side, “Rokay?”

Of course I’m not okay, look at what my life has become. “Yeah, okay,” I stammer, trying to rip the vines off the wall. I prick my finger on a vine and a flash of anger causes more vines to flutter across the wall and into the living room. “Shit.”

“Rokay?”

The more I try to reach for them, the more seem to unfurl from my hands and spread across the wall. I try to stop it by shoving my fisted hands under my bare arms so they don’t produce more vines.

Renall peeks his head in. I’m standing in the tub still, my arms crossed, hiding my fists as vines slowly stretch past the curtain and into the other room. I’m obviously not fine.

“I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to. I can’t control it.”

Ignoring me, he grabs a cloth from a ledge, wraps it around my chest, before lifting me up and onto the floor. His nose flinches slightly as he catches my scent. Damn, I need to replace my tampon before I cause another riot.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble again.

“Rr-ose,” he says, pulling me into a hug.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s a rose.” Thorns rise from the stems as white roses bloom. His English has gotten better, but still not enough to hold a conversation. “Still hazardous, but I guess it’s better than poison ivy.”

He carefully wraps me into a comforting hug. Closing my eyes, I rest my head on his chest. He’s warm, like a towel fresh out of the dryer. It’s nice on my cold wet skin. That’s when it hits me, I’m naked, he’s always naked, and the only thing between us is this tiny layer of cloth.

He must sense my change in demeanor because his muscles tense slightly, and the air in the room grows thick. My gut twists with desire.

I pull away slightly and our eyes meet. So many words we’re unable to say. What would I say anyway? That I’m attracted to him, to thank him for all he’s done for me, but I’m not in the mental place for a relationship right now. Especially since I’m still dealing with the guilt from my brother’s death and my failure to protect him from what was coming. How can I ever be expected to protect this ancient warrior? But I don’t say any of that because Renall’s warm fingers reach out and tuck a wet strand behind my ear and it causes me to lose my train of thought. His finger trails across my chin and the warmth makes a shiver run down my spine. Heat pools low in my belly. My eyes fly to his lips that are hiding in the edges of his beard. I’ve dreamt of what they felt like on mine. His lip quirks up in a knowing smile. This bond is really annoying sometimes, especially when my body is betraying my mind and sending him mixed signals.

He lowers his head and nods, leaving the bathroom alcove. I open my mouth to call him back, to close the gap between us and kiss him. But then I remember I’m in a strange place, surrounded by literal wolves who want me dead, and I need to keep my head. The last thing I need is to complicate things further.

After taking care of my feminine needs and dressing back into my sweatpants. I step outside. Renall is roasting me skewered meat over the fire. I swipe a bowl of fruit off the tray he must have brought in and curl up on the couch.

“It’s getting harder to control it,” I explain softly.

He pauses to look at me. I’m not sure he understands but he nods.

“Rokay?” he asks again.

“I don’t know.”

He nods again before pointing to the vines creeping out from behind the bathroom curtain. “Rrose rokay.” Not a question, a statement.

“The rose is okay,” I repeat.

He nods, placing the meat back onto the tray and places his hand on my leg. “Rardian is rokay.”

“Guardian is okay. Being a Guardian is okay? But what if I hurt you?”

He stares at me for a long second before snorting, “Many try.”

“Many try to hurt you?”

He nods. “RRren-all live.”

“You live, you survived. You’re saying that I can’t hurt you?”

He nods, smiling softly, before picking up his meat and roasting it again.

Maybe I can’t hurt him with a spontaneous vine of roses, but I can hurt him either with my indecision or by breaking his heart. What I do know is that this cave is different from anything I’m used to, its primitive laws, its kill-or-be-killed attitude, or its sheer lack of clothes. This place is affecting me in ways I don’t understand, and if I remain any longer, I’m afraid it might change who I am forever. But the longer I stare at Renall, I don’t have the words or the heart to explain that to him. I hope I don’t hurt him because I never want to hurt anyone again.