Page 9 of The Cancer I Chose (BLP Signs of Love #4)

“How are you feeling?” I asked Marissa while massaging her feet.

She huffed, relaxing deeper into the couch. We were having our session at the estate today so she could determine whether she’d want to give birth to her baby girl here. “I’ve started to develop a bit of anxiety the closer it gets to my delivery date.”

Her eyes skirted around the room while she subconsciously rubbed her bulging belly. “Hm... What’s got you nervous, my love?”

She ran her perfect French manicure through her Brazilian blowout. She looked like a model on the cover of a magazine without even trying.

“I just want everything to go well. It’s crazy when I look down at my stomach and remember I’m about to be someone’s mother.

What’s even crazier is that I already know I would do anything for her.

I’ve taken a step back from work, and it’s like all I do is nest. I’ve purchased so many things that if you know someone having a baby, I’ve got some things to give away. ”

I giggled. “That’s part of the process. All of it, actually. You’re human, Madam Mayor. You’re about to embark on a journey to a land you’ve never set foot in before. The fact that you want to do right by your daughter is proof of how great a mother you will be.”

I slipped her socks on after her massage came to an end. “Oh, and I know a mother who could surely use anything you have to give. She recently lost her husband, which puts her in a dire position.”

Marissa gasped, covering her mouth in empathy. “I can’t imagine the pain she must be experiencing. I’ll have Maddie pack up everything I don’t need, and you can come by to pick it up.”

I smiled widely as I stood. “Perfect. I’m going to wash my hands. I’ll be right back.” I hurried to the bathroom downstairs, washed my hands, and then returned to the parlor room. “So, what do you think?”

Walking over to her, I helped her off the couch. She glanced around the room and smiled. “I love it. It’s like I can feel the energy vibrating beneath my feet. It would be an honor to have my daughter here.”

I placed my hands over my heart. “Thank you for trusting me. I do not take that responsibility lightly.”

She reached her hands out to me. “Oh, I know. I trust you with my life, Nuri.”

We talked more as I walked her out. She promised to have everything ready by the weekend, then she was on her way. The door closed with a resounding thud behind me. Walking toward the kitchen, I figured I’d clean up my mess from lunch, then start dinner. I needed some music to get into my element.

“Brielle, music I love to cook to!” I yelled out to the automated system hooked to the house.

“Okay, girl. Now playing some shit you can vibe to.”

I smiled before clearing out the sink to run some fresh water. My hips swayed as “Adore” by Prince blasted through the speaker. I started on the dishes, singing along to the music. There wasn’t a huge mess, so I was finished by the end of the first song.

Wiping down the counters, I danced around the kitchen singing my heart out.

Moving to the refrigerator, I grabbed the fresh red snapper I’d gotten from the meat market on High Street.

I was lost in my own world as the playlist kept my chakras open and flowing with good energy.

The spatula became my microphone as I got distracted by some lyrics.

The red snapper was completely forgotten as I held my own personal concert. I damn near jumped out of my skin when Sekai started clapping in the doorway. I spun around with wide eyes and my hand covering my heart.

“Shit, you scared the living daylights out of me.”

Kai chuckled, offering me a half smile that made me sigh and sway in place. “I bet. You got a nice vibe going on in here. I’d be transported to my own world too.”

I smiled brightly, loving that he was even talking to me right now.

“What do you know about Anita Baker and Anthony Hamilton?” he teased while taking a seat on one of the island barstools. “I admit I was impressed when ‘Orange Moon’ played.”

I grinned, returning my attention to my red snapper. I sprinkled various seasonings onto the flesh before rubbing them all in. My eyes flicked up when I felt the heat of Kai’s eyes watching my every move.

“My mother loved music,” I shared. “Some of my favorite memories involve me, her, and her MP3 player. We’d lie on the bed together, looking at the ceiling. She’d have one earbud in her ear, and I’d have the other. We would lie there for as long as we could, listening to any and everything.”

I placed the fish inside the refrigerator to marinate while I began cutting up peppers, onions, herbs, and my cabbage.

“That’s sweet.” A smirk appeared on his face, and I knew he was fucking with me.

I waved him off. “Whatever. What do you know about them?”

Kai nodded his head to the song playing. He closed his eyes, and I had to pause what I was doing, becoming entranced by the way the music seemed to take over him. His posture relaxed in a way I hadn’t experienced before. When he opened his eyes, I knew what his answer would be.

“I’ve loved music since before I could even talk.

” He tapped his fingers on the island to the beat.

“I was so fascinated by the language and how every instrument and lyric had a role to play to bring a song alive. And the emotions I’m able to feel.

..” He whistled and shook his head. “It’s nothing else like it. ”

Hearing Sekai describe his love of music made me feel so warm inside.

By looking at him, you wouldn’t think he was a man who had the ability to feel so deeply, to express himself in a way that made me want to listen with my body more, to have a seat in the very secret priesthood he was a part of. I wanted to be in his world that much.

For the first time, I could see the light in his eyes and wanted to keep it there.

As I continued to prepare dinner, we continued to talk about his favorite subject, music.

I loved the way he could articulate what he loved most about a song or how it made him feel.

It was the most words this man had said to me, our entire marriage thus far, and I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t want to hear his voice more often.

When the food was finished, I fixed us both a plate and then took a seat beside him at the island. Kai had already poured us both a glass of red wine. He said a quick prayer, then we started to dig in.

“Damn, girl, you might know a thing or two.”

I cheesed. “Yeah, I’m very cultured,” I joked. He fell silent, and I couldn’t have that, so I followed up with a question. “What artist would you sell your soul to see perform?”

Kai paused eating his food. I watched as his thumb and middle finger began to rub together. I noticed he did that whenever he was thinking. “Nas.”

I nodded. “I can see that. He’s raw, poetic, and fluid just like you. I bet your favorite song is ‘Doo Rags’ or something like that.”

His eyes drifted over to me, and I became pinned in place. My breaths became erratic, and the air around us hummed. “It is,” he responded hoarsely. “How do you know that song?”

I laughed. “I told you my mama loved music, and we would listen to it for hours.”

Kai kept a steady gaze on me, but he cleared the bubbling emotion from his throat. The vibrations seemed to snap him out of the trance he was in. “Who is your choice?”

I tucked my bottom lip into my mouth, trying to calm my racing heart.

I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to confess it.

I watched as he gulped down a mouthful of rice and peas with some cabbage and red snapper on top.

As I watched him enjoying the meal I prepared, I felt the urge to let him know that I not only saw him, but I valued him.

“You.” It was already out there, and I couldn’t take it back. “I would sell my soul to see you perform. When I said you were my new favorite artist on our wedding night, I wasn’t trying to flatter you. I meant it.”

Kai nearly choked on his food. For the first time, he broke eye contact.

I didn’t know what to do with my hands, eyes, or mouth, so I jumped up to grab him a bottle of water from the fridge.

I handed it off before sliding back into my seat hesitantly.

I could sense my answer had thrown him completely off.

“Nu-Nuri,” he stuttered my name in shock.

I watched him grimace as his body froze in place. I was reaching a hand toward the one resting on the island when he popped up.

“I-I-go-gotta go.”

My eyes sadly watched Kai leave me. I instantly missed his presence.

The comfort he’d found with me, even for a moment, had morphed back into the armor he used to protect himself.

I wish he felt safe enough to let himself just be with me, to allow me to see his flaws and remind him that they don’t change the way I view him.

I huffed, turning to the messy kitchen. It was unlikely I’d see him again tonight, so I packed up the leftovers, cleaned up, and shut off the lights before heading to bed.