Page 15 of The Cancer I Chose (BLP Signs of Love #4)

I was sitting in the living room with my notebook sprawled across my lap.

I was working on my song for Nuri, but I only had a few jumbled lyrics right now.

Like things I wanted to say, but I was missing everything else.

I tapped my pen against the pages, mimicking the beat I could feel in my bones.

In the midst of my mumbling, my vibrating phone stole my attention.

Bones:

Incoming!

I hopped up and walked toward the front door, ready for whatever. I ripped it open to find my father’s black sedan racing down the driveway. When it came to a screeching stop, my baby sister, Azani, hopped out. I would never get used to seeing her with a bulging belly.

She waddled toward me with a scowl on her face. I stepped back to allow her inside. The second her foot crossed the threshold, she went off on me.

“Why is there a rumor going around that you’re married?” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

I could tell she was pissed by the bulging vein running down the side of her neck. “I swear, ever since I told you I was pregnant, you’ve been acting funny with me. I never see you anymore. You barely talk to me! I know I fucked up, but it doesn’t mean I don’t need my big brother!”

Azani was saying so much at once that it took me a minute to process. My face broke when I realized she thought my distance was because I was upset with her. “Aww, Pooh Bear. Come here. It’s not like that. I promise.”

I pulled her into my arms, and she broke down. I cradled her to my chest, feeling as if I was failing her. Did I have mixed feelings about my sister being sixteen and pregnant? Yes, I did, but was I distancing myself because of the situation she found herself in? Never.

“Hi,” Nuri’s soft voice sliced through the tension in the room. “I’m Nuri.”

Azani stepped away quickly, using the back of her hand to wipe away her tears. “Hey, I’m Kai’s baby sister, Azani,” she finally replied, looking between Nuri and me. “Is this her?”

I simply nodded. She already knew about the marriage, so there was no point in continuing to hide it from her.

Before my sister could say anything else, Nuri stepped forward. Her eyes were trained on my sister’s ankles. “Oh no, let me get your feet elevated. They’re way too swollen.”

Azani placed a protective hand over her belly. “Um, okay.”

Nuri gave her a kind smile, offering a hand that my sister took. I followed behind with a hand on her lower back. I felt so guilty for stressing Azani out. Her body was going through a lot of changes right now, and stress was the last thing she needed.

We went into the living room, where Nuri proceeded to get my sister to sit down before she placed pillows underneath her feet. Sitting on the couch beside her, she smiled proudly. “There. That’s better.”

She glanced over at me as I plopped down on the other couch. “I’m sorry for being distant, Pooh Bear. A lot was happening, and I didn’t want to involve you in it for your safety and the baby’s.”

Azani dropped her chin to her chest. “So, you’re not disappointed in me?”

I sighed. “I mean, a little because I would’ve rather you had been older and more established, but it happened, so there is nothing that can be done to change that. You gotta know I would never let you go through this alone. I’m still here. I promise.”

She finally lifted her eyes to me. “You mean it? Because I’m going to need it. Reg has been ignoring me, so I think I’m going to end up being a teenage single mother.”

Azani began to break down, and Nuri moved at the same time as I did.

We both hugged her from the side, so she didn’t feel alone.

This was what I didn’t want for my sister.

She was so beautiful and intelligent that she deserved the fucking best. It ripped my heart apart knowing I couldn’t spare her from the journey to come.

I made a mental note to pay that little nigga a visit with my brothers.

When she calmed down, Nuri sat back, rubbing her back. “I am here for you too. I know we don’t know each other, but we can change that.”

Azani sniffled and nodded. “I would like that. You seem nice, and you smell good.”

Nuri always smelled good enough to eat. I licked my lips as the fragrance wafted over to me on fucking cue.

“I’m totally nice,” Nuri joked. “I’m also a midwife and doula, so I can walk with you through this entire process.”

Azani perked up. I could see the hope in her eyes. “Really? I’ve heard about those during my research but never considered having one.” She turned to look at me. “What do you think?”

My sisters always looked at me for wisdom, but even I knew this was not something I could walk her through, unlike Nuri. She was well-trained and lived for the work she did. There was no other midwife or doula in the world I would rather trust my sister, niece, or nephew with than my wife.

“I think it’s a great idea. Nuri is good at what she does and has helped birth a lot of babies over the years. She will take care of you, and you know I have your back too.”

Azani nodded. I noticed that her head was a little higher than when she came in.

Having our support seemed to give her confidence.

It felt good to know we could do that for her.

Nuri clapped her hands excitedly. “We can talk a little more later about the details, but for now, if you have the time, I would love to give you a massage. I can see the tension in your shoulders from here.”

I moved to the loveseat while Nuri went behind the couch and began massaging Azani’s shoulders.

The entire time she worked, she talked to my sister to get to know her.

It warmed my heart to see how gentle she was with her.

Nuri was such a damn sweetheart. I think the Cancer in her could pick up on the turbulence in my sister’s aura.

She was good in Nuri’s presence in every way.

“Sometimes I feel like my life is over because of one stupid decision. I should’ve waited like everyone said,” Azani shared with Nuri after she asked how she felt about everything.

A ball of cotton swelled in my throat, hearing my sister express herself that way. I should’ve been more attentive to her feelings and thoughts. A lot was changing in her life, things that were hard for adults to manage, so it couldn’t be any easier being a teenager.

Nuri shook her head. “Your life is not over, Azani. It’s just beginning. It may not be starting like other girls your age, but it doesn’t change a thing. Only you can do that.”

My sister slightly lifted her head to see Nuri standing behind her. She gave her a reassuring head nod, which made my sister smile.

“You know my very first client was when I was fourteen years old. My best friend Samara got pregnant, and a lot of people told her that her life was over too. And you know what? Today, she is in law school and has a healthy, beautiful son. She’s thriving despite having to grow up quicker than others.

You get to determine the kind of life you have, Azani.

Don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. ”

The more I listened to them talk, the more I felt a soft spot for Nuri growing.

Fuck... This woman was going to be the death of me.

She was so loving, kind, and knowledgeable, it made my heart leap with joy.

She knew exactly what to say and answered all of Azani’s questions.

I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought about connecting the two sooner because she was already benefiting from Nuri’s presence.

By the time Nuri moved on to massaging Azani’s feet, I decided to head down to my studio.

I felt inspired seeing Nuri in her element.

It made me want to submerge myself in mine.

As I turned on the soundboard, I tried to contain my giddiness.

This studio had become my favorite room in the house.

I sat down and began working on Nuri’s song.

The beat I’d been tapping out earlier came alive.

I nodded my head while leaning back in my seat, trying to get lost in the music.

There was so much I wanted to say that I was struggling to put it together.

I knew when it finally spilled out of me that the song would be a work of art.

Something that showed Nuri Symone St. James, I truly saw her.

It was worth being patient with. Nuri deserved that.

She was that. The good thing about it was the Virgo in me wouldn’t allow the song to be anything less than perfect.

Walking over to her mother’s cassette tapes, I shuffled through them.

I paused when I came across one labeled Nuri Symone “My Light.” I don’t know how long I stood there staring at it before I went to plug it in.

As soon as the first note played and she began humming, I knew this was the missing piece.

For the rest of the night, I got lost in Ethel’s music.

She had an angelic voice that could lull a grown man to sleep.

Reminded me of Erykah Badu with its sultry tone.

The way she’d compiled a beautiful playlist full of songs for Nuri, her daughter’s laugh, or simply her speaking to her made my heart ache for her.

She lost something so beautiful when her parents passed away.

I knew without a doubt that I was willing to spend my life making up for that, but how could I when I’d promised to set her free one day?