Page 35 of The Cancer I Chose (BLP Signs of Love #4)

My fists were pressed into the vanity of the dressing room I was in.

Tonight was the final night of the St. James & Prosper Tour in the city.

The show was sold out. It felt good to know that my city still fucked with me.

My streams were still through the roof, leaving me at the number one spot for the third month in a row.

It felt good to know my art was received so well.

I’d put a lot into this project, letting the world into my life in another way.

I shared a lot of personal shit that was mentioned in interviews.

For the first time, I felt confident responding when I had Nuri sitting beside me.

She would always either hold my hand, rest it on my thigh, or rub my back.

Any time she touched me, I would sit up straighter and lift my head higher.

Then, when I looked over to see that proud smile on her face, I knew it didn’t matter what anyone else had to say about me.

I’d found my person, and she loved the fuck out of me.

She thought a nigga was perfect and shit too.

On cue, Nuri came out of the adjoining bathroom.

She tossed the paper towels in her hand into the trash, then went over to her purse to moisturize her hands.

There was so much to love about Nuri, like the way she took care of herself and the people around her, too.

She’d introduced me to so much shit that had my skin glowing and flawless.

The reason I was feeling so nervous tonight was that I’d finally finished my songs for her.

They were going to be released as a special edition of the album.

There were five songs, each named after her but in parts.

In Nuri Symone , I told the story of how we met, and she changed my life.

In Nuri Symone parts two to four, I talked about our journey to love and where we were now.

In the final part, I talked about what I hoped for our future.

The songs were not special just because they were named after her or about her.

They included samples from the cassette I’d found in her mother’s collection.

My baby was going to cry so hard when her mother’s voice blared through the arena speakers that I already had Jiah on standby with the box of tissues.

I had to take my time with these songs because Nuri was worth the intention and attention to detail.

I was so in love with the songs that I knew she would be too, not to mention shocked.

Nuri had no idea I was writing songs about her.

She was happy even to be included in my album art.

The special edition cover art was a collage of our pictures over the last few months, including some we’d taken as well as many from blog pages and fans.

We always looked good when we were out together.

Since we didn’t pop out much, the internet went crazy over us every time.

They knew I didn’t play about my wife. Our rings were always worn, and she was never too far from me.

I’d gotten a lot of support just because people respected the way I loved my girl.

Of course, some people hated on me, talking down on my ability to be committed, claiming that it would only be a matter of time before I broke Nuri’s heart.

I paid it no mind. I knew the world didn’t know the real me.

If they did, they’d know I am as loyal as they come.

A bitch couldn’t even get close to me if her name wasn’t Nuri Symone.

I didn’t even play like that. My block list was a mile long.

The number of women who began to throw themselves at me once my marriage was publicized disgusted me.

That shit probably worked on a lame, but I was a grown man who knew where home was.

Not nan ho was ever going to get the opportunity to mutter anything remotely close to me fucking around on my girl.

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.

My mind was racing with doubts about tonight.

I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted Nuri to love what I’d created for her.

I didn’t want to get in my feelings and start stuttering while proclaiming my love for my wife.

She was my world, and I just hoped the music portrayed that.

That part of my concert was for no one else but her because the songs weren’t known, but I knew after tonight they would be.

I was brought back to the moment when I felt her arms wrap around my waist. “What is it, hubby? You’re quiet tonight.”

I smiled because Nuri noticed my mood wasn’t out of the ordinary.

My girl was very attentive to my needs and moods.

Sometimes all I had to do was call her to vent about my label having me fucked up, and by the time I got home, she would have my favorite meal prepared or be naked waiting upstairs with a candlelight bath run for me.

My girl treated me like a fucking king in every way. I couldn’t get enough of her.

I ran a hand down my face. “I’m just a little nervous about tonight,” I admitted.

She turned me and palmed my face. The way her brown eyes sparkled rooted me in place. Nothing could break me from her trance but her looking away. “I don’t know why. You are going to kill it. You’ve been killing it, baby. Tonight will be no different.”

I wanted to tell Nuri what was different about tonight, but I loved to surprise her. She always got so giddy that it rubbed off on me. I would always do whatever to keep her on her toes.

Before I could respond, she grabbed my hand and then pulled me over to the couch.

Nuri’s hands went to my chest as she pushed me back onto it.

She straddled my lap after I plopped down on it, and my hands instantly went to her ass.

I began massaging her cheeks, feeling serenity pour into my veins just from inhaling her sweet coffee scent.

If a McDonald’s frappe could be bottled, that’s exactly what Nuri smelled like.

I inhaled deeply and smiled from the intoxication of her essence.

I buried my face between her titties, and she let me with a giggle. She hugged me around my back and began massaging my shoulders. When I lifted my eyes to look at her, her fingers went to my throat. She began humming “Ready for Love” while massaging my vocal chords.

“You are a natural, Sekai. There is nothing you can’t do because you are perfect the way you are.

When you get on stage, you shake the entire room with your presence before you ever open your mouth.

Even if the words didn’t come out right, it wouldn’t change what was said.

Ain’t no nigga fucking with you, baby, and this tour has proved that.

You haven’t yet reached the height of your success, but you deserve every single accolade, award, stream, and dollar that comes with that success… the kisses too.”

Nuri placed a kiss on my lips that silenced my chattering mind.

This woman always knew what to say to get me out of my head.

Because I didn’t talk much, I was always thinking.

When I was with Nuri, she made it her mission to get me out of my mind and into my body.

I appreciated her for it. Her affirmations grounded me.

Even empowered me to the point that all the nerves left my body.

She was right. I was a natural, and singing to her wasn’t going to be an issue at all.

She was my safe space. I was always my most authentic self around my sweet Nuri Symone.

A knock came on the door before Jah popped his head inside.

He was trying to leave the streets alone and was working as my manager these days.

Honestly, the nigga was pretty good at the shit, and I loved us working around each other.

He was another person I didn’t have to pretend with.

He also didn’t play about me, so nobody was fucking me over either.

“It’s time, baby boy.” He signed from the door. He looked at Nuri. “He ready?”

She nodded. “He is. He’s going to kill it.”

It warmed my heart to see them speaking to each other that way. This was why the people I loved could get anything from me. They knew I wasn’t the average person, but it never changed how they felt about me. And they never made me feel bad for communicating in the way that was best for me.

Nuri climbed off my lap so that I could stand. I held her hand on our way to the main stage. There was a lot of chatter in the halls, but I kept my head down, blocking it all out. I calmed my breathing as I got closer to the stage. When it was time for me to go on, Nuri squeezed my hand.

I looked down at her and smiled. “Love you, wifey.”

“Love you more, hubby. Kill shit.”

I winked, planning to do exactly that. We both did the Reaper pledge to each other.

At that moment, my deejay finished hyping up the crowd and dropped the intro to “St. James & Prosper”.

The crowd went crazy as I began talking into the mic before walking out on stage.

Jah, Man Man, Burg, and Lazer all trailed behind me.

Jiah stayed in the wings with Nuri and Nazje.

I would never get tired of the lights blinding me because the moment my eyes adjusted, and I saw the crowd, I always felt right at home.

Whenever I performed, I left it all on the stage.

No venue was too small because I’d come from humble beginnings, rapping in hole-in-the-wall spots, always knowing one day I’d be here.

When it came to the section of the concert that was dedicated to my girl, the gang left the stage. Jah returned but only to bring a wooden stool. I turned the microphone up to my lips as the deejay cut the music.

“Now, I’m about to switch shit up for a minute. I’m known in these streets as a Reaper, but when it comes to my wife, please know your boy is a simp.” I turned to the wings where I saw Nuri looking around curiously. I motioned for her to come to me. “Come here, baby.”