Page 10 of The Cancer I Chose (BLP Signs of Love #4)

The setting sun cast a beautiful golden glow across the land.

I sat on the porch of the big house with a notepad and pen in my hand.

My headphones were plugged in as I listened to the beat my producer had sent to me.

The piano notes had really transformed the beat into something else, something that shifted things around inside of me.

“Damn, nigga, I thought I was never going to see your face around here again!” Jah hollered after snatching my headphones out and pushing me.

I chuckled. “Man, chill out.”

“Nah, fakin’ ass nigga. Getting married and shit just to disappear like you’re not needed.” He folded his arms across his chest. “I’on like that shit.”

Jah was really over there, pouting, looking like his eight-year-old self at twenty-six. Back then, he was mad because I wouldn’t let him run the streets with me. Today, it was because I’d gone and gotten married, which required a little distance.

“Aww. If you miss me, you could just say that, pussy,” I teased as I stood up. “I am about to head out of here though. It’s getting late, and I need to get back to the estate. Nuri doesn’t like to be there alone.” She never had to say it either. I could just tell.

He eyed me suspiciously. “What is that girl doing to you over there? You don’t even want to leave her fucking side. You fucking her in the ass or something? She got pussy that molds around you like gorilla glue?”

I didn’t mean to, but I cackled at the fool. “Shut the fuck up. It’s not like that with us. She just trusts me.”

“Mmhm. I bet she do if you fuckin’ the living daylights out of her. I can’t even be mad ’cause y’all married.” He shook his head disappointedly.

I knew Jah had reservations about my decision, but he was my brother. He was going to ride for me despite any differences we may have.

After we dapped up, I walked down the steps.

Turning around, I glanced back up at the house I’d revered for so long.

I remember feeling so proud the day I was able to buy it with my cash advance.

Our home was lived in and cared for, but it was far from perfect.

I’d built a beautiful home for me and my siblings because even though all of us had our own shit going on, when you were in the big house, you never went to bed hungry or had to be alone if you didn’t want to be.

As I looked at the crooked door and hand-painted sign, I was proud.

It wasn’t as picturesque as the St. James estate, but it was my own version of building a legacy.

Where I came from, if you lived on Prosper Ave, then you’d made it in life.

Meeting Nuri helped me see I hadn’t truly made it yet, but I had faith that one day I would.

“Hey, hubby,” Nuri greeted me with the most genuine smile as she maneuvered around the kitchen.

Even though she was joking, the way she greeted me damn near made my heart stop. I’d never felt so proud to have a title in my life. I couldn’t understand how something so simple made me lift my head a little higher.

I hadn’t spoken to her since the day she confessed how much she loved my music, and I stumbled on my words.

I was too embarrassed to let her see me like that.

It was childish, but I didn’t want her to see me as damaged.

To understand why I stuttered in the first place, I would have to share my darkness.

So far, I’d only been able to do that in my music.

I didn’t know if I could handle telling Nuri everything to find pity in her eyes.

I didn’t need that shit because I was good.

“Wassup, wifey,” I replied, walking deeper into the kitchen. I watched her create a wine pasta sauce with expertise. Judging from how amazing it smelled, I knew it had to taste twice as good.

I couldn’t stop my eyes from admiring Nuri’s shapely frame.

She wore a crop top, leaving her rolls on display, and they looked more appetizing than a hot, fresh batch of rolls from Texas Roadhouse.

I licked my lips, wishing I were the cotton of her leggings so I could cling to her legs like a second skin.

Nuri didn’t have the fattest ass I’d ever seen, but it was poking.

And I’d noticed on more than one occasion that when she bent over, it doubled in size.

She blushed, trailing her sweet fragrance from one area in the kitchen to another. “You’re right on time. Dinner is ready.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. Although my stomach rumbled, I said, “You know you don’t have to cook for me, right?”

She waved me off as she went about fixing two plates of her pasta. “I’m going to do what I want, and if I want to cook for you, then that’s what I’m going to do.” She nodded toward the island. “Sit down.”

The tone in her voice made me feel like I didn’t have a choice.

I mean, she’d already put in all this effort, and that pasta damn near had my mouth watering, so without another word, I sat my ass down.

I felt little bursts of happiness while I waited for her to slide my food in front of me.

As a Cancer, nurturing was second nature for Nuri, and she was good at it.

I hadn’t noticed the way I looked forward to coming home to her.

The serene environment she’d created in the estate was my peace.

My own little sanctuary away from the world and a demanding career in the public’s eye.

She placed the plate down with a can of Old Soul ginger ale. She had already noticed it was my favorite beverage. It wasn’t like those trendy carbonated brands at all. This ginger ale burned a little, which I liked.

Nuri took a seat beside me with a glass of white wine. “Let’s eat.”

She seemed satisfied with herself and my presence beside her. That settled me in place as we prayed, then began to dig in.

“How was your day?” I asked, breaking the silence.

We both knew that was not something I usually did. She always did all the talking and engaging. I wanted to try something a little different tonight though.

Nuri nearly choked on her food in surprise. I couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from lifting a little. She patted her chest and then smiled sheepishly.

“I had a beautiful day. I have two moms who will be giving birth any day now, so I always get excited when it’s almost time.”

I could see the joy in her eyes as she spoke about her work. It was the same light I felt when music was the topic. It was clear Nuri was walking in her purpose.

“How did you get into doing that kind of work?”

I couldn’t lie, like I wasn’t curious about the woman I’d married.

It was hard not to be when she floated around the house like a fairy.

However, there were times when I’d catch her in a still moment.

When maybe she’d be staring off into space before a tear cascaded down her cheek.

Or even listening to music as she cooked or cleaned, then a certain song would change her entire mood.

Because I didn’t speak much, I was very good at watching.

To date, Nuri Symone was my favorite thing to watch.

She twirled a forkful of pasta around her spoon before lifting it to her mouth. The way her lips wrapped around the noodles made me shift in my seat. And don’t get me started on that slurping sound that followed. Nuri could make the simplest actions erotic. It was one of her superpowers as a woman.

“My best friend Samara got pregnant at fourteen. Many people turned their backs on her, but I refused to. I started learning as much as I could to help her prepare and fell in love with childbirth. During my research, I found many books on childbirth in the library. Some were written by women in my family, filled with remedies or birthing stories. It brought me genuine joy to hold her hand through her pregnancy, and I knew it was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”

I wanted to take that sparkle from her eye and hang it in the sky for the world to see.

It was hard to resist because it literally pulled me closer to her.

I wasn’t even sure gravity existed when Nuri and I were in the same room.

No matter how intensely I thought on it, I couldn’t understand my body’s reaction to this woman.

I’d promised not to fall for her and to set her free when the time came, but how could I when my heart did backflips every time I looked at her?

“That’s beautiful. You’re perfect for that kind of work. Where is your friend? You know you can invite her over.”

She beamed with a nod. “I think so too. Plus, I come from a long line of doulas. It’s in my blood like God chose the women in my family to help bring forth life.” She paused, then fell sad.

I could see the sorrow in her eyes, so I reached for her hand sitting on the island. I squeezed it comfortingly.

“I told Samara to stay away for her and my godson’s safety. I do not want them caught up in this.”

Nuri was such a sweetheart who wore her heart on her sleeve. Nuri wasn’t the type to beat around the bush about how she felt about you. She was bold and loud with her love. There was no room to question where she stood.

“That was very considerate of you. I’m sure you miss them both.”

She nodded. “I do, but we’ll be back together again when this is all over.”

The more Nuri talked, the deeper a trance I fell into. Out of nowhere, she dropped her spoon and clapped her hands excitedly.

“Ouu, I found something that you’re going to love.” Nuri hopped off her seat and rushed out of the kitchen before I could even respond.

When she returned, there was a childish grin on her face. Rushing over, she grabbed my hand and pulled me behind her. We ended up in the parlor room where a dusty old record player was lying on the mantle. My eyes jumped from crate to crate of records.

My breath was shaky as I walked closer. I glanced at Nuri over my shoulder to find her standing there looking like a proud parent when they knew they’d just given their child the most perfect gift ever.

I squatted down when I saw a piece of art that caught my attention.

I was gentle with the withered edges of the records while sifting for the one I wanted.

I pulled it out and whistled. “This is gold,” I whispered in awe.

Walking over to the record player, I pulled the vinyl from its sleeve and placed it on the spindle.

The needle dropped, releasing the most beautiful sound into the room.

Seconds later, the melodic piano intro to Donny Hathaway’s “A Song for You” spilled into the room, filling it with sweetness.

My chin dropped to my chest as I allowed the music to flow through my veins.

When Donny began to sing, I lifted my head and slowly turned to Nuri.

She stood in place with her eyes closed and swayed from side to side.

With slow, deliberate steps, I closed the distance between us.

I pushed one of her unruly curls from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Her eyes fluttered open before falling to my extended hand. I smiled when she accepted.

I pulled Nuri gently into my chest. The way her body molded to mine sent a chill down my spine.

My arms went to her waist as hers went around my neck.

Time and space slipped from our grasp as we began to float around the room as one.

I couldn’t look away from her eyes if I wanted to.

She seemed to feel the same way because she didn’t dare look away, lest she break this sacred connection between us.

There was this invisible tether between Nuri Symone and me from the moment I laid eyes on her, and it was strongest when we were together.

For the next few hours, Nuri and I got lost in soulful lyrics and melodies that sounded like heaven.

We listened to so many beautiful artists like Roberta Flack, Issac Hayes, Nina Simone, and The Isley Brothers.

I’d never known peace like I experienced dancing around the parlor room with Nuri, fluid and free in my arms. There were moments when I sat on the couch and watched as Nuri danced alone.

She was so graceful it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Her beauty was hard to deny, and I fought hard not to think too deeply about the way she made me feel.

Because trust, she was making me feel shit I never had before.

Things I had no intention of feeling when I came into this agreement with her.

I came into this thinking I needed to protect Nuri without realizing I needed protecting from her and her magnetic aura that continuously tugged me deeper into its swirl of goodness.

I never thought I’d have a woman like Nuri in my arms and was already afraid to think about the day I’d have to let her go.