Page 24 of The Cancer I Chose (BLP Signs of Love #4)

I turned over in the bed, feeling Nuri pressed up against me.

Her thick leg was tossed over mine, causing my hand to slide up the length of it.

She was so soft that I pulled her closer to me.

Whenever she was in my arms, I felt whole.

I knew Nuri accepted me flaws and all, giving me permission to sink into the goodness I felt when she was around.

When someone grabbed my shoulder, I was snatched from the memory in my mind to the waiting room of the hospital.

I was so deep in my thoughts that my body was pacing on autopilot.

I only stopped because Jah stood there looking like a raging bull.

Behind him, all my family was gathered with facial expressions that matched everything I was feeling.

I wanted to fall apart because this shit was killing me, but I couldn’t.

I was always Nuri’s strength, and I would continue to be even while my heart was fucking breaking.

“What do you need us to do?” Jah asked, somehow already knowing speaking would be too much for me right now.

I dropped my chin to my chest and sniffled.

I was so keyed up with anger that my body wouldn’t stop moving.

I kept twitching or cracking my neck. Getting ready for what was to come because when I said I was going to fuck the city up, I meant it literally.

A black cloud was about to descend on the city, and it wasn’t lifting until all my enemies were left leaking.

Before I could respond, a doctor came through the swinging doors. My head snapped in his direction as I rushed over. “Any news?”

He sighed, and I swear my heart stopped beating. “Mrs. St. James-Walker suffered severe blood loss due to the bullet nicking a very important artery in her stomach?—”

I lifted my hand, cutting him off. “With all due respect, Doc, save me all that medical bullshit because you’re wasting my time.” My voice was so hoarse from the rage I was feeling, but I managed to rein it in. “Give it to me straight. Is my wife going to be okay?”

He gave me an awkward smile as I glared at him. I could tell he was uncomfortable with my presence. He kept pulling at his collar, and sweat was forming on his beady old forehead.

“Um, I hope so. We removed the bullet and reversed the damage done to her body, but she is currently still unresponsive.” The look I gave him made him gulp. “Sh-shhhh-she’s in a coma,” he corrected himself quickly.

I felt a hand on my back and knew it was my mother. It was confirmed by her floral perfume before her voice came. “Is it because of the anesthesia?”

The doctor shook his head. “No. We weaned her off the anesthesia an hour ago. For now, it’s a waiting game. Her body will begin to heal, but until she wakes up, we won’t know the extent of her injuries.” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “I can take you back to see her now.”

I had tunnel vision as I motioned for the doctor to lead the way. He was quiet and kept looking over his shoulder to smile at me. I guess his intention was to comfort me or something, but he was creeping me the fuck out.

“Aye, stop fucking smiling at me and take me to my wife before I knock all your fucking teeth out.”

The man damn near took off running down the hallway.

If I weren’t so pissed off, I probably would’ve laughed at the fear I was able to instill in him by merely existing.

Finally, he disappeared into a room two doors down.

I paused in the doorway, trying to prepare myself, but nothing could’ve prepared me to see my baby lying in the hospital.

The steady beep of the machines she was hooked up to had me breathing funny. I squeezed my fists into a tight ball as I stood at the foot of her bed. The doctor started to say something to me, but he saw the look on my face and left the room quickly.

I walked over to the side of Nuri. I couldn’t stop my finger from trailing along her face.

Not that long ago, she’d been so full of life, literally stealing my breath every time she smiled.

I was so ready to fly her to get that Cuban sandwich before I slutted her out on a balcony overlooking the ocean.

I needed to see that smile right now to know everything would be okay.

Knowing that she couldn’t give me that and that there was nothing I could do about it had my body temperature rising.

I took her hand in mine and bent down to kiss her forehead.

“Come back to me, Nuri Symone. I can’t do this shit without you.” My voice cracked at the end of my confession, causing me to drop my head seconds before the tears began to pour.

I couldn’t tell you the last time I’d cried, but not knowing if my baby was going to pull through this had me scared as fuck.

I dropped to my knees against my will and sobbed.

Nuri didn’t deserve to be laid up suffering a gunshot wound.

She wasn’t even a part of that world but had gotten caught in the crossfire because of her bitch ass brother.

I made the promise to myself that the next time I saw that nigga I was ending him.

I didn’t care when or where the murder took place as long as it did.

Since I was already down here, I folded my hands together and then sat my elbows on the bed. I took a minute to gather myself, then I let God have it.

“Man, I’on even know what to say. It’s been a while since I’ve come to you for help, but this situation is bigger than me.

I need her, Big G, and you know that, so why are we even playing right now?

Is it because you want me to handle the niggas who did this?

Because if you bring her back to me, I promise to take care of her, to protect her heart and mind, and to be the protection she hasn’t received in a long time.

I failed her today, but I’ll never do that shit again.

You know how un-un-unworthy... I f-feeel of love.

” I began to stutter, and my pride almost kept me from finishing my prayer, but this was for Nuri.

“For the first time, I feel like there’s hope for me after all.

If you’re going to take that away from me, then you might as well take me too, because I’m not going to make it without her.

This woman is my world. I don’t even deserve her, but I want her.

I need her. Do me this solid, and as ungodly as it sounds, I promise to make them niggas suffer for ever touching her. ”

I stood to my feet, allowing my eyes to fall on my beautiful Legacy. She was going to pull through this. I believed it in my heart. Bending down, I placed a kiss on her lips. I figured my family was still in the waiting room, so I was going to update them so they could head home.

The walk back to the waiting room was quicker than my walk to Nuri’s room because I was ready to get back to her. When the double doors of the waiting room swung open, something dark and inky began to swirl in the pit of my stomach.

Azani was sitting down with her face in her hands, crying hysterically, while Jiah and Je tried to calm her down.

Jah stood in the middle of the floor with his head hung, phone pressed to his ear, while Man Man sat in a seat bouncing his leg up and down.

Lazer was leaning against the wall with a solemn expression.

My eyes floated over to my parents last. My father was consoling my mother, who was visibly upset.

For some reason, I knew it wasn’t about Nuri.

I’d just left them, and they were all fine for the most part.

When Jah saw me, he lowered the phone from his ear.

“What is it?” I asked.

I couldn’t read his expression and wondered if this was how people felt when they talked to me.

“The big house is on fire,” he croaked out, and only then could I see the sadness in his eyes.

I froze in place, trying to make sense of what he’d just told me. Glancing over my shoulder, I looked to where I’d left Nuri all alone. I only turned around when I felt a hand on my chest. I’m sure my mother could feel my thumping heart.

“Your sisters and I will stay here with Nuri while y’all go check out the damage,” my mother softly reassured me. I simply nodded because I couldn’t speak right now. She pulled me into her arms for a hug. “It’s going to all be okay, my sweet boy.”

When I separated from my mother, Jiah was there next. “If anything changes, I’ll call you.” She stepped a little closer to whisper whatever else was on her mind. “Make them niggas pay for taking away our home, Sekai.”

I gave a simple nod, then turned my attention to my brothers and father.

“We gone,” I alerted them. I could feel the heat radiating off all our bodies as we made our way out of the emergency room as a unit.

The only reason we broke off from each other was to hop in our cars, but when we hit the streets again, we drove down the block together.

Dominating the streets and allowing no room for any cars to break us apart, all that could be heard was screeching tires, humming engines, and the promise of violence when we got to where we were going.