Page 57 of Sweet Hate (If You Dare #1)
AXEL
“ F ire department, call out.”
Thick, dark smoke billows out above us as Max and I conduct a primary search. Crouching down to retain some visibility, we call out over and over.
“In here,” a shrill voice shouts from the last apartment on this floor.
“Max, got one!”
I smash open the door to the apartment, the heat and smoke so thick it’s becoming unbearable even with our fire gear. The boys outside work to vent the ceiling, but we need to get out of here fast. This isn’t a fire we want to be messing with.
And that’s when we spot an injured woman collapsed on the floor through the haze.
“My baby, my baby,” she wails over and over.
“Where’s your baby, ma’am?”
She points to a doorway blocked by fallen debris just as Cap’s voice sounds over the radio.
“Squad, pull out. This place is going down.”
Fuck.
I need to get this kid and get the hell out of here.
“Max, take her. I’ll get the kid.”
Ripping through the rubble, I make my way into the room where a toddler, no more than two or three lies silently in the crib.
No. No, no, no.
I take off my glove to check his pulse, my hand massive next to his tiny neck.
I find the beat, but it’s weak.
Too weak.
Grabbing the oxygen mask, I hold it over his little face as I search the surrounding area and work out our next move.
Making our way back out of the burning apartment block will take too long, and there’s a chance he won’t make it.
No way in hell I’m letting a kid die on my watch.
There’s a window, but it’s tiny. The one in the living room is a little bigger, and I can see the aerial ladder from there.
Closing the distance with his still body tucked in my arms, I shove open the window and call out to my crew.
Liam comes down the aerial, leaning toward me at a precarious angle, as far as his harness allows. Gently maneuvering the unconscious boy, I manage to hand him off.
“His pulse is weak. Get him to Beck now!”
Mask back on, I navigate back through the smoke-filled living room. Flames are licking through the ceiling above me now.
“Axel, get out of there.”
“Affirmative, Cap. On my way.”
Crouching, I hustle double time through the narrow hallway and down the staircase, a crack sounds above me and before I can react a beam comes crashing down, taking out the staircase and me with it.
Smashing straight through to the ground floor, pain radiates through my head and back from the impact.
Angry, orange flames engulf every inch of the roof overhead. Fire curls around the edge of the hole they’ve formed, relentlessly eating away at the structure, weakening it by the second.
So this is how I die.
Haven’s face flashes before my eyes. Her smile and joy from just yesterday. My elation at finally getting to hold her in my arms all night, that beautiful pink hair splayed across my chest as she slept.
I lay awake for hours, just staring at her, trying to burn that moment to memory. How the hell was that only hours ago?
As if I knew it would be my only chance.
No.
I can’t die.
I haven’t told her I love her. I need to say the words before I go.
Pain rips through my heart.
I can’t breathe and it has nothing to do with the smoke or my injuries.
The lead weight crushing my chest has everything to do with this morning.
Everything I left unsaid.
I didn’t even kiss her goodbye. Instead I withheld it as some sort of punishment.
I force myself onto my hands and knees, pain searing through my chest as I fight to stay on all fours.
“Lieutenant, what’s your status?”
“Stairs collapsed, Cap—” I swallow, trying to get the words out past the burning in my throat.
“I’m hurt but mobile. Keep everyone out.”
Is that my voice? Shit, it’s so weak, it sounds more like a death rattle.
Fighting for every breath, I shove away the pain searing through my bones and focus.
I hear Cap’s muttered curse through the radio and Max arguing to come back in .
No Max.
“Stay out. That’s an order.”
Curt words, but my oxygen is starting to run low.
But I think of my girl again.
If things go sideways, and it sure as shit looks like they might, I can’t leave things unsaid—truths I was too chickenshit to bring up. My heart shatters at the thought.
Goddamn, if I could do things differently, I’d open my stupid mouth. Talk things through. Kneel at her feet and beg to go with her. I’ll go anywhere she wants to go so long as we’re together. I hate that it’s taken this bullshit to show me that, and now I might not get the chance.
She needs to know. I can’t let this morning’s words be the final ones I say to her. I just…I can't.
Breathing ragged now, my lungs rattle, burning with mounting pain, but I have to get the words out.
“Cap—” A cough rattles out of me, attempting to silence the most important message I’ll ever need to deliver.
“If things go south…te—Tell Haven I love her.” Emotion chokes me, and my voice cracks. Heartbreak burning as badly as the fire coursing through my lungs.
He mutters a curse down the radio.
“Son—No. Get the fuck out here and tell her yourself.”
The throbbing in my head intensifies as his command forces me to my feet, my sides screaming in agony.
I suck in oxygen, eyes straining as I focus on the layout. Collapsed beams and debris already changing it wildly from before.
Straight ahead I spot a doorway with rails through it.
The shop. Its still intact—for now.
There was a shop on the ground floor leading to the street. If I can drag myself out there, I might just stand a chance.
My feet crunch on the broken wood as I make my way through a step at a time. Smoke fills the room, but so far the fire hasn’t broken through here.
“Help! Help!”
Dammit. No.
I spin, pain searing through me as I try to locate the voice.
Come on, kid. Where are you?
“Fire department, call out.” I use all my strength to project my voice as far as I can.
“Over here.” A shrill, panicked voice cries out.
When I reach his location, I find a teen with his leg trapped beneath a collapsed shelving unit.
Shit. This is gonna hurt.
Bracing myself for the agony to come, I force myself through the pain. “I’m going to move it. As soon as you feel the pressure lift, you pull yourself out. Got it?”
“Yes Sir.” He nods frantically as I crouch, ignoring the screaming in my chest, and grip the metal railings.
I roar, using every last ounce of strength on lifting the shelves off the kid. Thank fuck, the minute the pressure eases, he scrambles free.
Black seeps into my vision and the room tilts. Shooting an arm out I brace myself on the wall, dragging in small, shallow breaths.
If I don’t get out of here now?—
I picture my girl's face again, her beautiful eyes staring up at me, teeth biting into her plush bottom lip. I remember the feel of her wrapped around me on the back of my Harley.
My nirvana.
Need to get out.
To prove I’ve changed by fixing what I broke this morning. I should have talked to her about the letter and my feelings like a grown ass man.
Now I might never get that chance. If I survive I’m never running from her again. Not now I know the pain of leaving anything unsaid. The pain tearing through my heart right now, hurts most of all.
The kid scrambles to his feet with a definite limp. He must see my pain because he wraps an arm around me.
“Thank you, sir. I’m so sorry. Let me help.”
Nodding I brace an arm around his shoulders, and he does the same to me.
As we stagger toward the doors my squad's shouts reach us. Seconds later, they’re running in our direction.
The blue sky above fills me with crushing relief as I stagger forward. My entire body screams, every single part of me in torturous pain.
Max grabs me, braces me against his body, and steers me toward Beckett, carrying the bulk of my body weight. Just as we manage to clear the immediate area, an almighty crash tears through the air as the building behind us collapses entirely.
That would have been it.
I’ve had close calls in the past, but nothing like this. We barely made it out before the fire swallowed it whole. My vision fades under a tidal wave of suffocating agony and still I force one foot forward, and the next after that.
I need to get home.
I need to get to Haven.
Beckett’s worried expression is the last thing I see before everything goes black for the last time.