Page 39 of Sweet Hate (If You Dare #1)

AXEL

I ’ll admit I didn’t think about how obvious following Haven to the bathroom would look. I acted on pure instinct, wanting to help my girl relax. And looking over at her, she does look relaxed—her shoulders aren’t around her ears anymore, and her smile looks more natural, not forced like before.

Shit. At least it was. She’s glaring at her phone now, so I slip mine out of my pocket and check the group chat.

“For God’s sake, Lucas. Did you have to do that?” If looks could kill, Haven would have slayed him right here.

“Hey, I didn’t tell them anything they wouldn’t have seen if they were sitting here with us.

You know, being inclusive . Besides, if it were a secret, why the hell would you disappear at the same time, leaving me to my own devices?

I’m pretty, not stupid. This place only has one bathroom.

” He quirks a brow, looking from her to me.

I should probably try and tone down the grin stretching across my face, but it’s impossible. The damn thing won’t disappear.

I do feel a little bad about it. I know everyone knowing makes Haven uncomfortable, but they’ll find out eventually if I get my way.

And this time, I’ll make sure she knows it’s official too, because I wanted to yank those pants down and tan her ass for declaring we were never together in the first place.

Fine, technically, we didn’t officially label shit. That was probably my first mistake.

I’m sure as shit not making the same mistake twice.

She’s not ready to hear it yet, but she’ll get there. And once she does, she won’t ever question what we are again.

Our breakfast finally arrives, and we eat in relative silence, Haven’s full attention now on her pancakes instead of shooting death glares at Lucas.

I could probably do without Lucas dropping sly winks at me across the table while he chews his burrito, but with the taste of my girl fresh on my tongue, I really can’t bring myself to care.

“Hey, after this, could one of you drive me back to my place really quick?” Haven asks us. “You can leave me and head back to the bakery. I just want to change, then I’ll walk to Jett’s and do some baking.” As if I’d let her walk anywhere if I can help it.

“Sure thing babe, I’ll wait for you. Although you look great to me. Good enough to eat.”

Oh shit, I don’t think she likes me toying with her. She’s turned her sharp aqua gaze my way trying to kill me with one of her death glares.

“Where did my relaxed kitty go?” I keep my tone low, quiet, so Lucas doesn’t hear me.

I flash her a smirk while sliding my hand into my pocket.

I tug out her panties, bunching them in my hand to bring them up to my mouth.

I love the shock that flickers across her face as I make a big show of sniffing the pink lace.

I’m addicted to seeing that pink flush creep across her cheeks and I intend to take full advantage while Lucas is occupied looking at his phone.

“Axel.” Her stern tone shouldn’t be cute, but it really is.

“Course, Sprinks, I’ll give you whatever you need,” I purr out as I tuck them safely back into my pocket with Lucas none the wiser. Teasing her in public might just be my new favorite thing.

I’m so damn glad she let me into that new kink of hers.

My mind races with all the different possibilities we could explore.

Today was just the tip if you get my drift.

Will I get the chance to fuck her in my office?

Now I know my girl likes a little danger, that she gets off on the thrill of getting caught, I can’t stop my mind from thinking up crazy new places to visit with her.

Dammit, I’m getting a boner again. My dumbass will never learn.

As much as I wish I could keep toying with her, it’s probably smart she spends some time at Jett’s.

It’s only our first day in this new dynamic, but let’s be honest, I’m already perma-hard and her naughty panties are burning a hole in my pocket.

If she’s around, I’m going to keep wanting to play with her.

And I really need to focus and firm up the plan that’s started forming in my brain, instead of just firming up my dick.

“So, you and Haven?” Lucas side-eyes me as we install a piece of drywall.

I’m amazed he’s kept his mouth shut for this long. We’ve made it almost to the end of the day, which for Lucas is shocking considering how eager he was to spill all our business in the chat.

“Technically, there is no me and Haven.” The lie rolls off my tongue automatically but judging by the incredulous look he’s giving me right now, he doesn’t believe me anymore then Beckett did .

“Come on, bro. What the hell was that this morning if there’s no you and Haven? Jesus, I was born at night, but not last night.”

He laughs, shaking his head, his eyes not leaving mine.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here.

Haven doesn’t want anyone to know, but all our friends are assuming anyway.

Do I flat out deny and lie to another of my best friends?

I don’t even see the point in lying to them.

They wouldn’t judge us. There isn’t even anything to judge. Would it be so bad to be linked to me?

Brushing my hands on my jeans, I move back to lean against the island counter in the center of the kitchen and sigh.

I’m not used to spilling feelings, and so far since my girl’s been back, apparently all I do is word vomit to either Lucas or Beckett about her like a teenage girl but screw it.

“We’re not in a relationship,” Lucas opens his mouth to protest but I hold up a finger to silence him before continuing. “We are technically in a six-week friends with benefits situationship.”

His brows slowly crawl to his hairline. “Is that how long we have her back for? Six weeks?”

“Well, here’s the thing. From what she’s told me, there’s a chance she might stay,” I try to tamp down on the hope that swells in my chest as I say it out loud.

“She might stay? Permanently?” Surprise laces Lucas’s tone, and let’s be real, if his brows could jump in the air like cartoon ones, they’d be up there now.

“Apparently.” His face breaks into a blinding smile, his excitement at the prospect of my girl sticking around as obvious as the fire damage this kitchen suffered.

“Well shit bro, so what’s the problem? Why are you screwing around instead of locking her down? We both know the real reason you’ve been single this whole time is because you’ve always been in love with her.”

My mouth opens in denial, but I can’t bring myself to go there. The words taste like ash on my tongue. He knows they’d be a lie anyway, and now that I’ve stopped kidding myself, I know it too. I do love her. I’m not sure I ever stopped, even in the dark days that followed her leaving town.

I heave out a sigh. “It’s what she wants. After six weeks, she wants us to go back to being friends. Bro, she didn’t even want to tell any of you. She wanted it to stay between us and came up with a whole bunch of bullshit rules too.”

“Rules?”

“Lucas, if I tell you this shit, you better not put it in the chat. You’ve done enough damage with that already.”

“Scout’s honor.” He stands with his hand raised like a Boy Scout, a serious expression on his face.

“Good. Basically, there can be no sleepovers. It’s six weeks and we’re done, but we’re exclusive during that time.

We keep it between us, and there’s no funny business at the bakery because she wants to keep it professional here.

” Lucas laughs, no doubt thinking about this morning. “And yeah, no catching feelings.”

Her rules are burned in my brain, a constant reminder of what I’m up against to convince my girl to take a chance on loving me back.

“Well, damn. That’s a bummer.”

“No shit.” We stand there in silence for a second, I’m not sure there’s anything else left to say.

“That’s it? You're just gonna follow her rules and let her go again? For a second time?” Disgust creeps onto his face, his stare intense.

“Hell no! But I need to be smart about this. I can’t just turn around and tell her I’ve loved her since we were eighteen, maybe even longer than that. She’d bolt and run for the hills.”

“How do you know she’d bolt?”

“It’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”

“OK, so what’s our plan here?”

“ Our plan?” His answering grin borders on a little maniacal but it’s Lucas, not Freddy Krueger, it’s fine.

“Well, if you think I’m going to let your dumbass mess this shit up a second time, you’ve got another thing coming.”

I laugh, but he’s not wrong. It wouldn’t hurt to have him clued in on the plan to help. Or throw one of his Lucas theatric distractions. That could actually work.

I still can’t believe I spent half my life thinking this guy had feelings for my girl, when all along he was rooting for me, but I’m not about to dwell on that shit. It feels damn good to have Lucas in my corner.

“Here’s what I’m thinking…”