Page 49 of Sweet Hate (If You Dare #1)

AXEL

I slide the lasagna into the oven and lean against the wall, which puts Haven in my line of sight through the kitchen doorway.

Her pink topknot bobs as she reads snuggled under her sparkly pink blanket.

The strange looks I got buying that today were worth it just to see it wrapped around her, that’s for damn sure. The thank you kiss that followed still has my lips burning.

Haven’s the first woman in my apartment. Well, apart from my mother. But I don’t feel like she counts.

I’ve never wanted to bring anyone here. The thought of someone entering my inner sanctum had me breaking out in hives. I can’t think of anything worse than some woman poking around my place.

I thought that was just me. Eternal bachelor. No one sees inside the bat cave.

But apparently, that’s not quite the case. Because she’s here.

It should bother me that she is. That her coffee cup is sitting beside her on the seat instead of on the designated concrete coaster.

Or that my vintage tan leather couch now has a fluffy sparkly blanket draped over it that I’m pretty sure you can spot from space.

But not only does it not bother me, but I went out of my way to make it happen.

I want her here.

I want to smell her sweet caramel scent as soon as I walk through the door every day.

I want her face to be the last I see every night and the first I see every morning.

She’s the exception to my rule.

I can’t stay away anymore. A second chance with her has me taking my whole life plan and throwing it in the trash, ready to write a new one that revolves around her.

I finished working at the firehouse and headed straight into town to hunt down that damn blanket and make a total ass of myself at the local bookstore.

The ladies working there took great pleasure in telling me all about the books they recommended in explicit detail.

Although, it’s apparently frowned upon to refer to them as lady porn books, even though book boyfriends do it better , and the ones I selected come highly recommended on…

Tickbook? Booktick? Tockbook? Whatever the hell it was didn’t mean shit all to me, but they are pink.

And she loves pink.

I didn’t miss the surreptitious looks they were giving each other as they bagged them up, so I’m sure the whole town knows that the local lieutenant is picking up tips from firefighter romance novels.

That’s some bullshit.

In hindsight, I probably should have left that one behind, but if that dude gets a happy ending—not that kind of happy ending, you dirty fucker — maybe it'll plant a few seeds in her pretty little head about us. I’ll take all the help I can get at this point.

I drag my ass away from the wall and busy myself prepping the garlic bread instead of staring at the back of her head like a creeper. Even the thought of garlic breath doesn’t deter me. If Beckett could see me now, he would shit a brick.

Would candles be too much?

Shit, maybe I should have gotten some flowers for the table. Pink ones. She’d have been able to take them home if I had.

Could I text Lucas to pick some up for me—actually, no, that twat would barge right on in and make himself at home on purpose, and then my perfect plans go up in flames.

I’m nervous. I shouldn’t be nervous. My palms are sweaty, and I’m pretty sure I blushed like a schoolgirl out there earlier too. I have to get a handle on this shit for damn sure.

This is supposed to be an old school low key date. Well, I hope she knows it’s a date. I mean, to me it is.

I wanted to do what we loved doing as teens but show her how much better it is when she has a man by her side instead of a teenage boy.

The timer beeps on the oven.

Hell yes, lasagna’s done.

It’s go time.

Dinner was perfect. My girl loved it all. What’s even more perfect is the fact that she’s currently draped over me, curled up on my chest while she watches 10 Things I Hate About You , for what is probably the thousandth time.

The sequin monstrosity is over us, and her hand is tracing circles on my side. That shit tickles, but I’m not sure she’s aware she’s touching me. I don’t dare move because she might stop.

This feels right. Like home. Lying here like this, it’s like she never left.

But I can hear the ticking of the wall clock, making me all too aware that the night will eventually draw to a close and I’ll have to take her home.

Shoving that out of my mind, I snuggle her closer, watching her as she watches her arguably favorite Verona on the screen.

A pink curl falls across her forehead onto her glasses, so I brush it back and run my hand through her hair.

It’s loose now and spread all over my chest like a silky soft sea of cotton candy.

“Mmm, that feels nice,” she moans before turning to face me and giving me that megawatt smile.

I should probably worry about the fact that my heart just thumped so hard I might have cracked a rib, but I can’t. I’m too busy holding back the three little words that want to slip off my tongue.

Words that will probably screw this perfect moment up.

So, I unleash five instead.

“Spend the night with me?”

My voice sounds gruff, and I know I screwed it up when her smile dims and her eyes go sad.

“I can’t, Axel. The rules. We have them for a reason.”

Frustration spills out of me as she pushes up and away from me and grabs her phone.

“Fuck the rules, Haven. I don’t see why we need them. I just want to spend the night holding you. What’s so bad about that?”

I should shut the hell up, but I can’t hold it anymore. Why is this such a sticking point for her? It doesn’t even have to mean anything. People have one night stands and sleep over all the time.

Instead of answering, she types on her phone, pointedly avoiding any eye contact.

“Sprinks, look at me. Please.”

She faces me, her expression shuttered. She’s closing herself off to me. Even after the perfect night we just had, she still won’t stay .

“Axel, you really need to stop looking at me like you're mine.”

“I am fucking yours, Haven. That’s the whole fucking problem.”

Tears well in her eyes, and she stands up, yanking on her sparkly pink Converse.

I’ve really gone and fucked it now. Again.

Why the hell couldn’t I stick to the goddamn plan?

Walking over, she rests her hand on my cheek and strokes the stubble there.

“Thank you for dinner, Axel. Thank you for everything. Tonight’s been pretty perfect.” Her hand drops from my cheek to my chest, right above my rapidly breaking heart.

“But we need to be careful. This is supposed to be temporary. Neither of us can give any more. Those were your words too. If we blur the lines too much, I’m not sure we’ll come out the other side without one of us getting hurt.” She swipes at a tear and drops her eyes to her phone.

“I’m going to head home now.”

“No, wait. I’ll drive you home.” I scramble to claw back a few stolen minutes with her, even if it’s in the truck instead of cuddled up on my sofa.

“It’s fine. I have an Uber waiting outside.”

She plants a soft, chaste kiss on my lips, and then she’s gone.

All I’m left with is the sparkly pink blanket that still smells like her.