Page 73

When you can’t be with them, it’s torture…

Jamie was gone, and the apartment had never felt more empty.

He hadn’t taken any of his things when he’d left.

His bags had been ready and waiting by the door; right next to Jesse’s bags, where they’d put them when they’d both thought they could leave the world together.

And they were still sitting there now, even almost two weeks later.

Jesse hadn’t had the heart to unpack, and it had made him burst into tears for the hundredth time because Jamie was gone.

His only solace was that Jamie had at least taken his hoodie to remember him by.

Austin had been staying at the apartment about as often as he could, clearly trying to make sure Jesse was okay.

That first day, when he’d shown up thinking he would find an empty apartment and had found Jesse crying instead, he had been angry at Jamie for leaving him behind—but as soon as Jesse explained things, he’d just been sorry for them both.

And when he had read his letter, he had started crying too.

Jesse didn’t know what Jamie had written in it, and Austin hadn’t told him.

It had been helpful to have his best friend hanging around, but he eventually had to go back to his own apartment, and now Jesse was alone once more.

It was so hard to accept that he would never see Jamie again.

Every single thing in the house reminded him of what he had lost. It wasn’t just the bags by the front door.

It was the candy bar lying discarded on the kitchen counter.

It was the painting supplies in the living room.

It was the second pillow on the bed. It was the bed.

How was Jesse supposed to move on, with Jamie’s ghost haunting every single room?

He couldn’t feel any joy anymore .

At least he didn’t feel physical pain any longer—the seal was holding perfectly well—although that wasn’t much of a consolation.

Of course, the lack of pain didn’t mean Jamie hadn’t left his mark on Jesse’s body.

As Jesse stood in the bathroom, looking at his reflection in the mirror, he traced his fingers across the new scar on his chest. It reminded him of the scar that had been on Jamie’s head, only that this one was much, much bigger.

It was a deep, dark blue, almost black—more like a bruise than a scar, really—and it stretched across his chest, starting at his heart and spreading out like growing roots.

He found that he kind of liked it, if he were honest with himself.

The skin was cold around it, like it was covered by a thin layer of ice.

He rested his hand on it, just over his heart, and closed his eyes—trying to hold the aching feeling of closeness he still felt for Jamie.

But when he opened his eyes again, he was met by his own reflection, standing alone in the empty room.

He couldn’t stand it.

Listless as he left the bathroom, he found himself drifting into the bedroom and over to the dresser, where the robe Jamie had been wearing the day he found him remained, folded neatly in Jamie’s drawer.

He hadn’t packed it with the rest of the things they’d intended to take on their journey, having said there would probably be others available when they arrived; so the limited space they had in their bags had been devoted to the things he treasured that couldn’t be replaced in the other world—namely, the clothes that Jesse had bought for him.

And now, more than ever, Jesse treasured the blue robe instead.

He ran his hands over the fine silk, feeling every stitch of the embroidery and taking in the cool colors of the dye.

Bringing it up, he buried his face in the fabric, breathing in the scent.

He knew it was only a matter of time before it faded away; that eventually Jamie’s smell would vanish.

But he would never forget it, and relished every lingering whiff of it now .

Jamie had needed to go, but he would never truly leave him.

Jesse knew that he would carry the memories every day for the rest of his life, and would see Jamie in every drop of rain, every shining lake, every wave on the ocean.

And with all the photos and videos of him safely stored on Jesse’s phone, even time wouldn’t steal the sound of Jamie’s voice, the exact color of his eyes, or the way he smiled when he thought no one was looking.

Thank God Jesse had let go of that old flip phone back when Jamie had first come into his life. If he hadn’t, all he’d have now would be blurry pictures and distant echoes.

It took him far too long to realize his phone was ringing in the other room.

With a deep sigh, he set the robe back in the drawer and closed it, and then made his way out to the living room, where he’d left his device. He moved more slowly than he knew he should, and the call went to voicemail before he reached it.

It didn’t matter much, anyway. It was probably just Austin, calling to check on him again. He’d text that he was fine and then he would just… sit down and stare at the ceiling for a while.

But then the phone started ringing again right away. As if whoever was calling him wasn’t satisfied with a voicemail, and would call until he picked up.

Jesse reached the coffee table and grabbed the device—and his heart stopped at the sight of the caller ID.

Jamie!

Shock and disbelief collided within him, the sudden rush of emotion sending a violent tremor through his entire body. In an instant, he slammed his thumb against the green button, gasping as he pressed the phone to his ear, as if he could crawl inside it. “Jamie! Jamie, is that really you?!”

There was a shuddering exhale on the other end, followed by a low, unsteady sound—half a groan, half a whimper—a raw, involuntary noise Jesse couldn’t quite interpret .

All he knew was that he would recognize that voice anywhere .

A sudden seriousness took hold of Jesse, overriding everything else as his instincts surged to the forefront. He ran a trembling hand through his hair, sinking onto the couch and shifting the phone to his other ear.

“Jamie, what’s wrong?”

To be continued…