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He so wished he could see Jamie’s dreams for himself. He knew that wouldn’t be enough to help Jamie, but as an objective outside observer, maybe Jesse could pick up clues Jamie couldn’t. After all, there was no doubt his nightmares held the key to finally uncovering his identity .

Jesse couldn’t help his thoughts drifting off as his hand continued to trace over Jamie’s trembling frame.

They still didn’t know any more about Jamie than they had the day they found him.

And until he remembered more than his first name, it was nearly impossible to learn anything else.

The media hadn’t ever reported a fire; not in in their area, not when Jamie had been found.

But there was no doubt that Jamie had been in an actual fire.

If his nightmares weren’t proof enough, the fancy, soot-covered robe he’d been wearing that day had clearly confirmed it.

And had raised even more questions after they’d washed it.

The robe was, in fact, more than just ‘fancy.’ Jesse hadn’t realized until it was clean how expensive it clearly had to be.

The seams all looked to be hand-sewn, the fabric was fine silk, and the embroidery that covered it was as ornate as it was beautiful.

And then there was the belt. Covered in gold embroidery, and tied together by gold braids, it made it seem to be Japanese in origin (while Jamie clearly was not).

And more than that, it wasn’t a belt that men usually wore.

“I… hate this…” Jamie suddenly whispered, snapping Jesse out of his thoughts. “I hate it.”

No kidding.

Jamie’s nightmares had grown more and more intense the longer time went on.

“I know,” Jesse whispered back, releasing Jamie from the hug. He reached up to place his hands on Jamie’s damp face, and leaned in to kiss his forehead. “What did you see?”

“…Just… what I always see,” Jamie muttered, his voice even quieter than before. “Can – can I…” Jamie trailed off, lowering his head as if unsure whether to finish his thought.

“Hm?” Jesse gently lifted Jamie’s head to meet his gaze once more. “Just ask.”

“Can I… come under your blanket?”

Oh God.

Jesse felt a sudden heat spike in his cheeks as he gulped heavily.

He couldn’t just say no, could he! ?

…No, he couldn’t. Not when Jamie was in desperate need of safety and assurance.

“Uh… s-sure…” Jesse made himself say. He slowly laid back down, lifting his blanket up to let Jamie in—realizing too late that he should’ve put his shirt back on first.

He was so going to regret this. His heart pounded as Jamie slid closer; the mattress dipping slightly with his weight as he settled in, his back pressed against Jesse’s chest.

Fuck. The intimate contact made him insanely aware of every inch of Jamie’s body that was now connected to his own—skin to skin.

Carefully, slowly, Jesse lowered the blanket down over them and his arm around Jamie, trying not to move any other muscle.

If he did, there was no telling what might happen next.

The room was charged with silence, broken only by the soft, steady breaths of the two men.

After a while, Jesse could feel the tension in Jamie’s body slowly begin to ease, the aftermath of his nightmare gradually subsiding.

But… the more Jamie relaxed into his embrace, the tighter Jesse’s muscles became.

He knew he had to be here for Jamie, and he wanted to be the support that Jamie so clearly needed. But the physical closeness and intimacy of the situation made him feel so damn vulnerable and conflicted, stirring dangerous feelings and making him feel utterly weak.

While they laid there, Jamie’s breathing grew deeper and more even, signaling that he was drifting back to sleep.

A soothing warmth started to spread through Jesse.

Somehow, it got a little easier to be here.

As much as he wanted something more, he found he was content just to lie here, as long as Jamie was in his arms.

As Jamie’s hair turned white again, revealing that he had just fallen back asleep, Jesse couldn’t help but smile. “I love you,” he whispered, placing a soft kiss to the back of Jamie’s head. The color change seemed to get more beautiful every time he saw it.

* * *

“Why aren’t you making love to me?” Jamie asked not even a week later.

Jesse choked on his water, completely caught off guard by the sudden question. He tried to catch his breath, but he’d barely managed to lower his glass onto the kitchen counter before he was wracked with a round of hoarse coughs, his face burning as tears welled in his eyes.

What the hell kind of question was that!?

How had Jamie even found out about it so fast!?

“Are you – are you okay?” Jamie asked, his eyes wide as he moved to help.

“Don’t—” Jesse cut himself off with another cough, backing away from Jamie and feeling even more flustered than ever at his touch. “Don’t worry, I’m – I’m alright.” He coughed again. “Just give me… a second.”

Jesse took in a few deep breaths, his mind racing as he tried to get back on track.

He couldn’t stand anymore, dropping to sit at the small kitchen table and rubbing his face with both hands.

He couldn’t believe Jamie had actually asked this question now, and he had absolutely no idea how to reply to it.

“Where the hell did you get that from!?” he heard himself blurt out.

“Oh, um…” Jamie hesitated, obviously having picked up on Jesse’s displeasure. “Ayda was talking about it, at the dance studio.” He sat down at the table across from Jesse, biting his bottom lip in guilt and confusion. “Did I… say something wrong?”

The concerned look on his face was too much.

Jesse felt a stab of guilt at the sight of it, taking a deep breath and deciding to just try to get past his own discomfort, and carefully find out what exactly Jamie had heard.

Maybe there was still time for some kind of damage control—if that was even the right way to put it.

After all, Jesse had known this talk would come one day.

It felt just all too soon .

“No, you didn’t… say anything wrong, really,” he replied. “Do you…” He swallowed hard, forcing the words out softly. “Do you know what making love even means?”

“Oh, I do,” Jamie confirmed, his expression shifting to relief at Jesse’s calmer tone, as he pulled his phone from his pocket. “Look, here!” He held up his phone to Jesse, a glimpse of a steamy romance dancing across the screen. “Why aren’t you touching me like this?”

Jesse snatched the phone out of Jamie’s hand, caught off guard a second time as he stared down at the video. At once, he recognized the famous scene from Dirty Dancing that played out before him; of Baby and Johnny ‘dancing’ together as her clothes came off.

He had seen the film before, more than once. But never before had it made him feel so completely uncomfortable and bothered. Jamie had been watching this. Jamie had watched this, and he’d been thinking about Jesse as he did so!

“Where the fuck…” he rasped before he could help himself. “ Where did you find this!? ”

“Um… Ayda, she… sent it to me…” Jamie replied, his voice quiet and almost toneless now.

Startled by the strange sound in his voice, Jesse raised his head to look at him, wincing to see that the confusion and guilt on Jamie’s face had grown again.

He looked like he thought he was in trouble; like he expected Jesse to get angry and start yelling.

Jesse needed to calm down. Right now.

“Is this the only video Ayda showed you?” he asked, a little more collected now. “Or have you seen more?”

Jamie lowered his head and stared down at his hands, but he didn’t speak. He looked like he was afraid to answer. And that just made Jesse feel worse.

“You can tell me,” Jesse said, working to keep his tone soft and gentle, but with not as much success as he’d liked to. “I’m sorry I startled you, but I’m not angry. I just want to know.”

“…No,” Jamie finally admitted quietly. “Just this one. ”

That was a huge relief. Thinking about it for a moment, Jesse had to admit that it could be worse.

A lot worse. Dirty Dancing was certainly steamy, but it wasn’t exactly explicit.

Besides, it portrayed sex as something that was natural and beautiful and intimate, not something warped or filthy, like a lot of other things could have done.

For a moment, when he’d just caught a stray glimpse, he’d almost thought somebody had exposed Jamie to porn.

And considering Jamie had been confused by The Little Mermaid not too long ago, Jesse shuddered to think about what kind of impact that might have had on him.

All things considered, this was a fairly mild way for him to find out.

Jesse could work with this. He just had to get his bearings back, and then he could—

He heard a sniff and looked up at Jamie, just in time to see him wipe at the corner of his eye.

Oh shit, Jesse had made him cry!

“N-no, Jamie, don’t – please don’t cry! You didn’t—” Jesse stammered, reaching out over the table and grabbing Jamie’s hand, unable to take the guilt coursing through him. “Jamie, please don’t cry,” he pled again. “You didn’t do anything wrong!”

“But… why are you so upset with me then?” Jamie asked, sniffing again as he lifted his head to look at Jesse with glassy eyes.

“I’m not upset with you ,” Jesse tried to assure him. “I’m… just upset that this is how you found out about it. Ayda shouldn’t have sent you that video!”

“I… I don’t understand,” Jamie told him, starting to look frustrated and confused again as he wiped his eyes. “Ayda said that making love is something that people do when they love each other, she said that it’s a good thing. Was that… a lie?”

…Jesse was really doing a bad job of this, all over again.

He sighed as he moved his chair next to Jamie’s, holding Jamie’s hands again as he tried to figure out how to explain everything. “No, that was not a lie,” he admitted. “This is… what people really do.”