Page 63 of Seduction

Reluctant to break up their little party, I watch them from the doorway. I was a bitch to Jon. All he wants to do is help me, and I keep lashing out at him. He doesn’t deserve it. What he deserves is a woman much better than me; one who can give him everything he needs. A woman who is free to love him, not one so broken she feels like she’s cheating on her dead boyfriend.

When he left my house earlier, I thought about everything he said; all the things I needed to hear. He was right about it all. I just can’t seem to get past the block in my mind. Eddie… I always thought he died a meaningless death. Knowing he died saving my brother doesn’t hurt any less, but at least I know the reason.

“Darlin’!”

I give Daddy a weak smile as he approaches, Millie not far behind. I heard he’d been spending time with her, but never thought anything of it. She owns the local diner and is probably a few years younger than Daddy. Her tight top and short skirt don’t say it, though. Don’t even get me started on her blood-red hair and lipstick. But she’s a good woman. Daddy could do a lot worse.

“Hi, Daddy.” I nod to his companion. “Millie.”

“Hi, sweetheart. I’d love to catch up, but I gotta get back to the diner.” She kisses my cheek, then hurries out the door.

“You here for Mikey?” Daddy asks.

“Yeah, but he seems a little busy.”

“Step into my office.” He gestures to the kitchen. “Let’s talk.”

He places his hand at the small of my back, nudging me along. Once there, I lean on the counter, folding my arms.

“What’s up?”

“How are things going with you and Einstein?”

“I don’t know.” I stare at the floor, not knowing what else to say.

“What do you mean you don’t know? He didn’t seem too happy when he walked in here. I tried to find out what was going on, but he told me to ask you.”

“I’m so confused, Daddy.” I close my eyes, trying to control my emotions. I’ve shed enough tears today to last me at least a couple months.

“Open your heart, baby girl.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I know you loved Eddie. Still do… that’s the problem. He loved you, too. This MC was his life until you got together. Losing either one would have devastated him. Einstein? He’s a good brother, loyal… but he has a life outside of the club. He can survive without it. If you take this leap with him, thenyou’llbe the thing he can’t live without.”

“Daddy….”

He takes my hand, pulling me into his arms. “I won’t be around forever, Ellen. Hell, I don’t know if I’ll be around much longer. Your brother has his own family now. Einstein can take care of you and Mikey. More importantly,I trust himto take care of you.”

I cling to him, trying to draw from his strength. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. Mom died when I was a baby, so it’s not like I had much of a choice. While Gage was being groomed to take over, Daddy made sure I had a “normal” life. Sure, growing up, I heard rumors about what they did and what went on at the clubhouse, but I never saw anything until much later. I wasn’t allowed to go to club parties, just the family events.

I always wanted a man just like Daddy. Eddie had the same qualities and that’s part of the reason he appealed to me. Daddy never thought anyone was good enough for me, not until Eddie. He gave me his blessing then, and he’s doing it now. Deep down I know Jon could make me happy. My guilt just won’t let me accept it.

“I know your heart is broken, baby girl. Moving on doesn’t mean you’re forgetting about Eddie. You just can’t let it control your life forever.”

“Okay.” I nod against his chest. He’s right. Everyone’s right. My mind knows it; my heart just sucks at playing catch up.

“Come on.”

I pull back, raising my eyes to his. With his thumbs, he wipes away my tears, then presses a kiss to my forehead before we leave the kitchen. Mikey finally spots me when we walk back into the bar.

“Hi, Momma!”

He waves excitedly but doesn’t run to me like he usually does. Instead, his attention returns to the TV screen. I do, however, have Jon’s attention. He doesn’t seem angry with me. In fact, I don’t know what to make of his expression. It’s so… neutral.

Sighing in resignation, I make my way to them.

“Come on, baby. Time to go home.”