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Chapter Twenty-Seven

Koda

Witness security. I know it’s a real thing because my dad is a senator and my mom has worked with some really fucked up foster kids, but to be this close to it makes you wonder. How many people have I met that have been given a new life?

Now it all makes fucking sense. Ashland constantly being elusive. Every picture being candid. Pinning her down is impossible. Getting answers is worse than pulling teeth. The scars. The screaming. It’s all because of Damien, a man that I am only vaguely aware is a fucking psycho. It takes a lot to have your entire life replaced by the fucking government. Damien can’t be just some ordinary stalker jackass. This guy is a monster.

A strange silence settles over the emergency waiting room. The place is empty, and everyone is gone, including the nurse from the front desk.

A man whose hair is half black with the other half bleached white enters the emergency room lobby, looking around wildly until his gaze lands on Penny. He has two hooped lip piercings on one side of his mouth and one in his septum. An upside down cross dangles from his ear. His entire body is covered in tattoos, and he has chipped black-painted nails. He’s wearing torn black jeans and a cutoff black shirt that has holes all over it. Is this Jeremy?

“Sinclair!” Penny jumps up and rushes him, colliding into his open arms. After a few moments of gripping each other into a hug he finally looks at us. This was the guy she called first.

“Who are these wankers?” he asks in a British accent.

“Oh,” Penny says. “That’s Alexi, and that’s Koda.”

“Why are they covered in blood?” he growls.

“They…They found her,” she quietly answers.

His stance turns rigid, ready to kill me. “They were there?”

“They saved her,” Penny says indignantly.

“How? She’s fucking dying!” he argues.

“The longer they take the longer she’s alive,” Alexi repeats the goddamn mantra he has been saying to himself every five minutes.

“What are you? A fucking self-help book?” Sinclair sneers. “What happened?”

Something about this man is familiar. I’ve seen him in some of her sketches.

The question comes out even though I don’t mean for it to. “How do you know Ashland?”

“What makes you think you have any fucking right to ask me questions?”

“They’re just trying to help,” Penny defends us.

It’s like the man doesn’t even hear her. Rage and anguish boils over. “What happened to my fucking sister?”

Sister? I see it now. The same teal eyes as Ashland glare at me. He might be exuding anger, but his eyes are full of fear. They look similar, only enough to tell that they’re related if they’re standing next to each other. I didn’t know Ashland had any siblings. Add it to the list of things I don’t know about her.

“Sinclair,” she says tersely. “You’re not helping.” She turns to us. “This is Sinclair. Ashland’s baby brother.”

“I’m not a fucking baby,” Sinclair mutters.

“Where is Jeremy?” Penny interrupts.

As if on cue, another man strides in. He’s wearing military cargo pants, a nice button down shirt, and a fucking bulletproof vest. His men clear the hospital lobby in moments, looking like a swat team. He comes straight over to Penny and straps a vest onto her without a word.

“They’re the ones who found her?” he asks.

She nods, biting her nails.

“Sinclair, why don’t you take Penny to get something to eat?”

He nods, jaw flexing, and wraps an arm around her. They head in the direction that must be the cafeteria. The moment they disappear the man is on us. He has an unsettling ease in his stance, and the smile on his face it too friendly. He's trying to lure us into a false sense of security. I’ve met men like this before when my parents died.

He sticks out his hand to Alexi. “My name is Jeremy Pilsner, and you are?” His brown hair has been slicked back with a short brown beard to match. A badge sits on his belt.

“Alexi Daemon.” He shakes his hand.

“And you?” Jeremy asks.

The last twenty-four hours have been so traumatic that instead of calling my dad and asking him what to do, I shake his hand. “Koda Armory.”

Jeremy sits next to Alexi, across from me, without asking. “So you two have been posted up here with Penny, huh?”

“I picked her up from the airport,” Alexi offers.

“You did? That was nice of you.”

“We’re friends. It’s what you do,” he murmurs, a faraway look in his eyes. I wouldn’t be shocked if he was dissociating. I’m too present in my body right now between everything Penny just told us and this government asshole looking at us like we’re predators.

“Friends? That’s nice to hear.” Jeremy hooks his ankle over his knee, spreading himself out despite the awkward vest. “Pretty dedicated friends to be sitting here.”

I stare at him with a tight jaw. I’m not giving in to whatever he is trying to make us admit. Alexi isn’t an idiot. He looks stoic, too.

“How did you meet Ashland?” Jeremy asks.

“We went to brunch at this place called Sunny’s, and we met her there,” Alexi answers.

Jeremy stares at me, looking deep inside. “What about you, Koda?” I hate the way he casually says my first name like we’re fucking friends.

“Yeah, he was there.” Alexi leans back and crosses his arms.

“That wasn’t the first time,” I admit.

Alexi raises his eyebrows in complete and total confusion. “Do you have a concussion? I was there.”

“No. The first time I met Ashland was last year at the weekender. You, too.”

It looks like he’s struggling to put the pieces together, and Jeremy watches with a look that’s impossible to discern by design.

“At the weekender?”

“After you blacked out. We played beer pong with her and Penny. They were winning by a long shot, but a fight broke out and some guys smashed into the table. Cole was there, too.”

Jeremy sits forward, intertwining his fingers with his forearms on his knees. Something about that has caught his interest.

“Woah.” Alexi sits up with realization. “It’s fuzzy. I barely remember the fight. They were there?”

“Yup. Kept cheersing to the Cunts of the Century. I forgot until that football party you invited her to.”

“Who is Cole?” Jeremy feigns disinterest, but there’s glaring curiosity in his gaze.

“This guy they were friends with.”

“Were?”

“Were,” Alexi confirms.

“What do you know about him?”

“Works at The Roost, a coffee shop on campus. The girls said they met him Freshman year in their dorm. He had a massive crush on Ashland. Has.” I won’t talk about her like she’s dead. Even if she is, I never could. “He was her personal doormat.”

“So they dated?”

“No,” I scoff. “He wishes.”

“Why would he do all of that if they were just friends?”

“He was waiting for her to see him.”

“What gave you that impression?”

“He just…Would try to wait on her all of the time. He’d bring her coffee and food. Walk her from classes. I mean, the guy was practically her personal assistant. She stepped all over him, and he was happy to do it. He thought if he was the last man standing that she would see him and fall for him.”

“What was your impression of him?”

“He's a nice guy,” Alexi answers. “But he was definitely biding his time.”

I get a sour taste in my mouth. “I don't like him, and he definitely doesn't like me.”

“Because you took Ashland from him,” Alexi points out.

“We weren’t dating,” I argue. “And neither were they.”

“You punched him in the fucking face,” Alexi bites back.

Jeremy quirks a brow. “You hit Cole?”

“There was a party,” I admit. This is hard. That night was hard. Not just our split, but knowing someone had tried to hurt her in such an intimate way. “Over Thanksgiving. I came home early because something felt off. I didn’t like Cole hanging around, and she knew it. Like I said, I wasn't a fan of his. They got into an argument, and he left her alone. When I found her she wasn’t conscious. She had been drugged. The next day we ended up fighting about what he said and breaking it off.”

“You hit Cole at this party?”

I shake my head. “I saw him at another party with her and hit him there. I ended up going to jail. Ashland bailed me out.”

“So Cole had an argument with Ashland at a party where she was drugged, you argued and broke it off, Cole goes to another party with her where you fight and go to jail, and Ashland bails you out. Is that correct?”

“Yeah.”

“How does that warrant you attacking him?”

“He had insinuated that she owed him sex, too. That she owed him a relationship. Any man with dignity would hit him. Women don’t owe you shit, and he said it to Ashland, which pissed me off.”

“What charges were filed?”

“None. Cole dropped them after she bailed me out.”

“Do you find that odd?”

“Nah, she only bailed me out to yell at me,” I sigh.

“I mean Cole not pressing charges.”

“I think he was just embarrassed.”

“So your family didn’t pay him off?”

“No way. My dad would have left me there.”

“I was pissed,” Alexi adds. “I wasn’t bailing him out. I guess it’s weird he didn’t press charges, but I think he just wanted to appease Ashy. She stopped being friends with him anyways.”

“Hm,” Jeremy hums. “Who are her other friends? Where does she generally hang out?”

“She knows a lot of people. She goes to the library. Any place Penny goes. Late Night Pizza. The tattoo shop she works at, and the bar beneath. Sometimes parties.”

“Do you and Ashland drink a lot? Any drugs?”

“Not really. We socially drink, but when it’s just us it’s pretty rare. I’m not a drinker. She smokes weed, but we don’t do drugs. She hates them, and I’m not interested in them.”

“When she drinks does she get out of hand?”

“Well, she and Penny are wild in general, but I would say it’s more about them having fun with each other. All they really want to do is dance for a little bit, get some pizza, then go home.”

“So much pizza,” Alexi laughs. “They do movie nights on Fridays at their house, but we’ve only been to one. It was Ashland’s birthday.”

“And when would that be?”

“November seventeenth,” I say automatically. “Cuntsgiving.”

“Interesting,” Jeremy says in thought. “And you two are dating?”

“She’s…was…my girlfriend. We broke up.”

“When?”

I wince. “Right before she was shot. We broke up, and I…” My voice cracks. “I left her there. Then she called me and I ignored it, but she left a voicemail. It sounded like she fought someone, and he said she was shot. So we went to her house, saw it all, and Alexi called the police while I…I tried to keep her alive.”

Jeremy doesn’t bat an eye. “Why did you break up?”

I don’t want to fucking go over this again. “Because of Damien. I found a letter in a book in her room from him. I thought he was her husband and that she’d been lying to me.”

“So it was a lover’s quarrel then?”

My body goes rigid. Maybe I should have asked for a lawyer. “Are you insinuating I did something to Ashland?”

“No,” he says. “Should I think that you have?”

I lean my forearms on my knees, shoving my face into my hands and pressing my eyes until I see stars. “I love her, and I never got to tell her.”

“Listen, Mr. Pilsner, I understand that you’re here to help Ashland, but my brother is going through it right now.”

“Where were you when these events occurred, Alexi?”

“I fell asleep playing video games and woke up when Koda called me.” He doesn’t say it defensively, but I know he’s feeling the underlying accusations.

“Very good. Well, if you don’t mind, I’d like to speak with your brother a little longer. Why don’t you go home and get a shower?”

Alexi looks like he’s going to protest, but I intervene. This isn’t optional.

“I’ll be fine,” I assure him. “Take my phone.”

“The one with the voicemail?” Jeremy raises a brow.

“I presume you’ll be taking it?”

Jeremy smirks. “Of course. You’ll get it back. I’ll need Ashland’s, too. It wasn’t at the scene.”

I dig into my pockets and hand them both over. Doubt I’ll get them back.

“Koda.” Alexi chews on his lip.

“I’ll be fine. Seriously. I’ll have Penny call you or something.”

He nods unwillingly and some of Jeremy’s men escort him out of the front doors.

“Go ahead,” I huff.

“With what?”

“Ask me the personal questions.”

Jeremy sits back, pulling a notepad from his belt. I notice his badge says US Marshal. It’s not that I thought Penny was lying, but it’s all happening so fast.

“What are your habits, Koda?”

“I go to football practice, play in the games, go to the gym, and then anything Ashland does.” I sound just like a psycho who would kill his girlfriend after finding out she had someone else.

“Does Ashland go to the games?”

“No,” I snort. “She hates football.”

“Does that annoy you?”

“No. I honestly like it. It means I get a break from it.”

“I see. Aren’t you trying to go pro? They say you’re highly sought after.”

“I think I’ll probably go pro, yeah.”

This guy has already run background checks on us. I’m sure he knows everything there is to know, and it makes me uneasy. He wants to see if we’re lying.

“What does Ashland think about that?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it. We don’t talk about stuff like that. I’d be surprised if she could tell you I’m the quarterback.”

“What do you talk about then?”

I blow out air. “Stupid shit. Mostly her roasting me. The books she reads. The ancient civilization shit. Then stuff that she doesn’t like about the world.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Rich people ruining neighborhoods. Politicians and how they don’t do anything. Funding in schools.”

“But your father is a senator?”

“Read my Wikipedia page?” I ask. He doesn’t answer. “Yeah, he is. My adopted dad. I’ve never been involved in that part of his life. Not my thing. I focus on football. Always have.”

“Now, your birth father murdered your mother when you were eight, then committed suicide. Is that correct?”

I bristle. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

He gives me a smile telling me this is not optional. “But I do."

“Yeah. He did.”

“I suppose that was the official story.”

We stare at each other for a long time, waiting to see who will break the silence first. He’s got another thing coming if he thinks it'll be me. I see this for the power move that it is.

“Did Penny tell you anything about her situation?” he finally asks, sizing me up.

“I know she’s in Witness Security.”

“Did she tell you anything else?”

“That Damien is a psycho. That she’s going to disappear because of this.”

He takes a beat, mulling over what I’ve said. “I can’t say what will happen next, but is there a message you would like me to deliver?”

I run my tongue along my teeth. “That she’s in my life plan.”

“Alright.” He writes it down and flips his notepad shut. "Here's my card. If you have any questions or remember something significant, give me a call."

Anger surges through my body, rippling through the exhaustion. “Was it Damien? Did he try to kill her?" It’s a hope that I’m gripping onto.

“Actually, no. It was Cole.”

I should be in a stupor, completely shocked or surprised, and I am, but something about it seems typical. Obsessive guys do crazy things. I would do crazy things for Ashland. I have. He must have been watching, waiting, all of this time for me to leave her again. Why would he want her dead, though? Flashes of my mother and father blind me. Murder suicide. That’s what they say. Rage can make you do things that you’d never dream.

“And he’s dead, right?”

“Yes, deceased.”

“Can I be honest with you?”

“That’s the only sort of thing I like.”

“I don’t really give a fuck about Cole at this point. What’s happening with Ashland?”

Jeremy smiles, and this time it isn’t menacing. “She’s a fighter and a survivor. You should go home and shower. Get some rest. I’m sure Penny will call you if you’re needed.”

“I’ll shower, but I’m coming back.”

“You won’t get to see her,” he reasons. “It’s a moot point.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

He chuckles. “I appreciate your candor, Koda.”

“I don’t think I had a choice.”

“You always have a choice.” His words are ominous. “It was nice speaking with you. I’m sure we’ll do it again soon. My men can take you home.”

“What about Penny?”

“Penny is safe.” Jeremy stands and strides off out of the front doors, disappearing like he didn’t just grill me.

The SWAT team surrounds me, pulling me up, and giving me no time before shoving me out of the door into a blacked out SUV. They already know where I live, of course. Alexi is in the guest shower when I get inside. I head to my bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror.

I don’t look like the Golden Boy Ashland always accuses me of being anymore. I look fucking broken. Soulless. My mental state is in shambles. The world around me is out of control in a way that it hasn’t been in a very long time. Ashland’s insides are on my hands, and it’s not the kind that I live for. I tell myself that as long as Ashland lives I’ll be happy, but I won’t. If she really has to go, I want to see her one last time face to face. Just one moment. I’ll wait in that hospital until I get it, no matter how long it takes.

If she disappears, I will turn into an obsessive stalker and turn the world over just to get a glimpse. I won’t disrupt her life, but I want to see her, even if it’s fleeting. I’ll make sure everything goes just right to make her life easy. I don’t want her to live in fear. I don’t want her to ever struggle, and I’ll make sure she, nor Penny, ever want for anything. I’ll sell my kidney just to make sure they don’t. I’ll love her whether she knows it or not, because without her there is no me.