Page 23

Chapter Twenty

Ashland

The next day when I leave to go to work there’s a set of keys on the counter with a note.

Take your car back.

We leave the door unlocked all of the time. It’s not a shock he came in here. I expected him to.

A few months ago, I would have at least had the decency to try to reject the car or just walked anyways to prove a point. This time I’m going to fucking fight dirty. I smile to myself and grab the keys. Outside, the sports car is waiting. I snap a picture and send it to Penny. Last time I definitely mistreated it, but this time I’m going to take advantage of it. If it ends up wrapped around a light pole then so fucking be it.

The engine roars to life. I pump the pedal, shift it into first, and put my foot to the floor. I fly down the street. I hope Koda is staring at my location, and that he’s annoyed that I’m speeding. The tires screech as I whip into the lot behind the tattoo shop. I don’t bother locking it and leave the keys sitting in the ignition. Oops.

“Hey girl,” Angel smiles, her pointed teeth poking out.

“Hey,” I answer with excitement.

“You’re booked for the day.”

I start to walk past her. “Really? Hm, okay.”

People usually aren’t trying to get tattooed on a Monday, but I won’t refuse.

“Oh.” She sucks down an iced coffee as I open the door to the private chair. “Your boyfriend is here.”

“What?” I look into the studio, and Koda is spread out in one of the waiting chairs with a smirk on his face.

“Took you long enough. Brought you coffee.” He nods to the tray.

It isn’t from The Roost but some other place that’s way off campus. The good stuff. I almost get angry, then I remember this is a game. So I level my gaze and flash him a winning smile.

“Awe, look at you. Begging for my attention. It’s cute.” I grab the coffee and start to organize my stuff. “I know you’re obsessed with me, but this is work. I’ve got a full schedule today, and you can’t sit there while I’ve got clients.”

He’s silent; unmoving.

“Are you deaf?” I ask him, shoving my hand on my hip.

“Nope.” He sticks the straw of a smoothie into his mouth and takes a sip.

The bell over the shop door chimes. “You gotta go.”

He just looks at me with innocent sage green eyes, and I know something bad is about to happen. Shouts erupt in the lobby, and I shut my eyes and take a deep breath.

“Ashy!” Alexi calls out. “Where is she?”

His face appears around the door frame along with Smith’s. I don’t fucking look away from Koda. I’m booked because Koda made it so.

“The entire team?” I ask him.

“Nah, you don’t have time to do it all today. That’s why you’re booked for the next two months.”

“Hmph.” I grit my teeth. “Good. More for my portfolio.”

Alexi grabs me around my shoulders and forces me to hug him. I inwardly growl. I don’t want to be touched. Not unless I initiate. It’s a sign of regression. Only Penny can touch me when I’m like this. I didn’t freak out when Koda did it, but that just seems different.

Alexi looks around, releasing me. “Damn, Ashy. This place is sick.”

“Thanks.”

“Fits your vibe and shit,” Smith adds.

“Whose going first?” I start to set up.

“Me.” Alexi slides into the chair.

“You ever gotten a tattoo before?”

“Nah,” Alexi chuckles. “My dad isn’t a fan.”

“You know this is permanent, right?”

“Yeah, Koda mentioned that a few times.”

“Did they fill out the paperwork?” I call out to Angel.

She appears in the doorway, ready to watch this all unfold. “Got it all right here.”

I roll up my chair. “You got a design in mind? Where?”

“I was thinking my shoulder. I know you’re the expert. So I figured you could do your own take on this.” He pulls out his phone and hands it over.

Angel shakes her head. “Oh, you don’t want to put that power in her hands."

It’s a photo of a vase with Hedylogos, one of the seven Erotes in Greek Mythology. The god of sweet-talk and flattery.

“Fitting,” I sigh. I grab my marker and clean his skin before I start marking it. I set the phone on my stand and loosely draw.

“Aren’t you supposed to stencil or something?” Alexi asks nervously.

“Sweetheart doesn’t do that,” Angel giggles. “She’s a freehander.”

Alexi yanks himself away and turns to me. “A what?”

“Freehand. Ya know, I do it as I tattoo and see it in my head.” Alexi sucks in a breath. “Ready to turn back?”

He glances between us. “No.”

“This isn’t peer pressure, Alexi. No one will think you’re being a bitch,” I say earnestly.

“That definitely makes it sound like I’m being a bitch.”

“If you leave, we will all plead the Seventh Seal of Silence.” I look at them all forcefully.

Smith holds his hands up. “I won’t say shit.”

“How about all of you give us a second,” I suggest. Koda immediately gets up and shoves Smith out of the room, followed by Angel, who shuts the door behind her.

Alexi looks around at the walls. “Are these yours?”

I realize he’s never seen my work. Not really. The one I did on Prince, sure, but usually people are here to get whatever bullshit they like. Not something original.

“It is.”

He stands up and runs his fingers along one of them. “This is really fucking good.”

“That’s what they say.”

“Koda was right.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before break I decided I wanted to get tatted. He said I should come to you, so I booked the appointment.”

“Wait, you didn’t book this today?”

“No." He shakes his head vehemently. “Like a month ago. I wasn’t sure I would follow through. Koda asked me six times this morning if I was sure. He said you were fucking talented, and I’ve seen those little ancient drawings, but shit, Ashy. This is, like, fucking talent.”

“It’s a plague, but I’ll take the compliment.”

“I’m ready.” He sits back down in the chair and puts his back to me. “Just don’t draw a dick.”

“Oh, there will be dicks,” I snicker. There’s a knock on the door as I pull on my gloves and let them slap my wrists.

“Can we come in?” Smith timidly asks.

Alexi grins. “Yeah, let’s make it a party."

I make him lay down, and Koda stands over me. “Can you give me some space, weirdo?”

He dangles the keys to the car in front of me. “Just wanted to know where you want them.”

“In the ignition, like I left them.” I shove him aside with my hip and dip the gun into the ink. The buzzing starts, causing Alexi to wince. “I haven’t even touched you.”

“Yeah, just preparing myself.”

I tap the needles to his skin, and he grips the leather.

“Want Koda to hold your hand?” I laugh. Koda balks at the thought and crosses his arms, leaning back in his seat.

“I’ll distract him,” Angel offers, pulling up a chair. I flip on my music and get lost in my head.

I don’t know how much time passes, but my back is aching. I look, and I shade. I stand, look at it from different angles, and sit back down. No one says anything to me, but they all chit chat. Alexi is in pain by the time I finish. I can tell.

“All done.” I finally sit back and stretch, tossing the gun onto the tray. Smith left at some point.

“Only took five hours,” he mumbles. Angel helps him sit up, and takes him into the lobby to look into the mirror.

“Holy shit, Ashy!” Alexi runs into the room. “It’s fucking perfect. It’s perfect.”

“Let me see,” Koda says.

Alexi turns around and shows us the winged god of love. I can admit that it’s fucking good.

“You like it?” I tried to hide my smile.

“I fucking love it.”

“Come here. Let me clean it and cover it.”

“You’re gonna help me take care of this, right?”

“Duh. Can’t have you fucking up five hours of work.” Alexi muses for a while and has Angel take pictures while he poses. I start to clean up. I almost forget that Koda is there.

Koda nods toward the door. “It’s really good, Ash.”

“Thanks.” I give him a tired smile. “You could have said Alexi already had the appointment.”

“It was more fun this way. Need help?”

I shove ink at him. “Put this away.”

He doesn’t argue, just takes it out of my hands and faces the wall. I expect them to be shoved anywhere and I’ll just have to deal with it later, but he has his hands hovering over it, speculating the placement. He puts everything exactly where I like it. I don’t know how he did it.

Koda catches me staring at him. “What?”

“How did you know?”

He’s confused at first, then realizes I’m talking about the wall. “You organize them by their vibes or whatever bullshit you would say.”

He’s right. I do. I place the last few things in my drawer as Alexi settles with Angel.

Smith is rubbing his eyes. “Looks good, Ash. My appointment is next Monday.”

“What are you thinking?” I ask.

He pulls out his phone and shows me a tribal tattoo.

I look him over. “Are you native?”

“Cherokee. On my mom’s side.”

“Do you want the whole arm or a half sleeve?”

“I’m not sure.”

“We’ll start with half, and then you can always come back?” I offer.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s perfect,” Smith grins.

Koda interrupts us. “Already making plans?”

“You didn’t tell me your girlfriend is a fucking tattoo goddess.” Smith shakes his head.

“ Not his girlfriend,” I interject.

Koda ignores me. “It’s late. You two should go.”

“So should you." I squint at him as Alexi and Smith disappear out of the door.

“I’m going to walk you and Angel out.”

“It’s fine. Ash got rid of that car.” Angel sighs. “Gavin will come get me eventually.”

“Actually.” I grin. “In an interesting turn of events, I have it back.”

Koda rolls his eyes and holds up the keys. I snatch them. He walks us out, just like he said he would, and I practically burn rubber in his face.

This weekend is the last before classes start again. Since Penny is gone and I don’t talk to Cole anymore, Angel is my thread to society. She invited me to a party at Gavin’s when I took her home, and since Gavin is the worst and Koda is on my shit list, I immediately agreed. It’s the perfect opportunity to get my revenge on Koda. I pick her up at the shop and leave my phone behind. This is war.

It’s a thirty minute drive from campus to Gavin’s.

“So, you and Koda are together again?” Angel raises her dark arched eyebrow.

“No. We’re playing games.”

“Didn’t look like a game to me. He gave you the car again.”

“He’s just trying different angles to see what fits. It doesn’t mean shit.”

“Is that why you’re wearing his shirt?”

It’s true. I'm wearing one of his shirts, but I cut it off on the bottom, right underneath my boobs. I’m not wearing a bra either. It’s a nice fuck you. When he finds out I went somewhere like this and shook my ass on a table top, he’ll be angry and hopefully ashamed.

“Another game,” I dismiss her.

“Whatever. He’s sweet in that dark fuck boy way.”

“Yeah, so is Gavin.” I roll my eyes.

She smiles anxiously. “I think I’m going to break up with him.”

“No shit?!” I almost crash the car in my stupor.

“No shit. Tomorrow. I figured we should let him throw the party, and then go the cunty way like you and Penny are always saying.”

I pretend to swipe tears from my eyes, then reach over and grab her hand. “I’m so proud. My baby cunt is growing up.”

“Well,” she says haughtily. “This baby cunt is ready to act like a fucking fool and move on in his face. I mean, if you want. Having a ‘not’ boyfriend and everything kind of makes that complicated.”

“Key word. Not. I’d love to fuck shit up with you.”

Since none of my coworkers are college students, they don’t party like them either. I miss Penny terribly, but she’s knee deep in her internship already. We text all of the time and we’ve had a few phone calls, but we know how to prioritize. Angel is fun and sweet, and I don’t mind hanging out with her.

The front lawn doesn’t overflow with people like a football party, but it’s just large enough that it doesn't feel intimate. People I’ve met a few times hang out on the front porch with beers, and I recognize some other artists from different conventions. I pull up and park, and low and behold, Prince is standing there waiting. It’s been a few weeks since he moved. We’ve talked a little, but I didn’t realize he would actually come back to visit.

“Prince?” I step out of the car and slam the door.

He grasps me in a hug. “Angel showed me that Greek god you did last week. Fucking stellar, Sweetheart. Ya know I’m saving you a spot at my new shop for when you change your mind about pursuing a career in ink.”

“Still thinking about it,” I laugh. He hands us both beers, and I knock the cap off with the side mirror.

“Don’t do that,” he admonishes me. “It’s a nice car. You’re going to ruin the paint job.”

“Good. He can afford a new one.” I pull out two bottles of liquor from the trunk and hand one to Angel.

“Oh yeah? Back with Football Chance?”

Angel gives me a shit eating grin. “He’s back. He’s real back.”

“Just teaching him a lesson.” I chug the beer, snap the cap on the whiskey, and pour some in my mouth.

Prince winces. “This looks like a woman scorned, not a lesson.” He pulls out a few blunts, passing them out to us.

“Angel is scorned. I’m a cunt. Time to start the party.” I light it and tuck another behind my ear, marching into the party. It doesn’t take long before we're taking the place over. Gavin is standing in the corner absolutely livid as we stand on the kitchen counter shaking our asses like we were born in a strip club.

I jump down, grabbing Jell-O shots from the fridge and handing them out to the group we've accumulated.

“To Gavin!” I scream. Everyone cheers, and Angel flicks him off. If he hadn’t figured it out, he has now. I can’t stop fucking laughing. I grab a cup and put it up to the water cooler filled with some mixture of god only knows what.

“…and boys are obviously stupid, so it was easy to get him naked,” I laugh. Angel’s eyes widen, and Prince looks like he’s nervous. “What?”

I follow their gazes behind me. Towering over me with wet hair is Koda, and goddamn do I love to see him when he’s freshly showered and angry.

“Go on, Ash. Don’t let me interrupt,” he clips.

“Did you invite him?” I ask Angel. She shakes her head no. “This is a private party, Ko-duh.” I have to work to enunciate my words.

“You left your phone. Don’t leave your fucking phone.”

“Bleh. Phones connect us to society. It’s unhealthy how they force us to watch people in their fake lives and make us compare ourselves and feel insignificant.” I wave my hand. “And the government.”

He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks to the side, trying to keep his cool. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Obviously not enough, dad.”

He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes narrow, but I see the glint in them as leans down and tucks my hair behind my ear. I hold my breath as the scent of cedarwood and pepper overwhelms me. “Is this the game you want to play tonight?”

That should not make me as wet as it does. “I-I…”

“Go ahead, Ash. Enjoy yourself. Take as long as you want. You can call me daddy later when we’re done here.”

Koda said when we're done here. We . He forcefully turns me around.

Angel bites her lip. “Do you have to go?”

“Not at all.” Koda releases me, addressing her.

Prince looks at him warily, gives me a questioning glance that lasts all of one second, and holds his fist out. “Good to see you, man.”

Koda bumps it. “How’s Texas?”

I take my drink and put it to my lips. Stupid suck up Koda. When I try to bring it away from my mouth, I can’t. Someone is holding it up, forcing me to gulp it down.

“Drink it all, Ashland. You wanted to party. Don’t let me stop you,” Koda says quietly in my ear.

When I finish, he finally gives me reprieve. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I'm in no position to play actual games. I wanted to get drunk, aggravate Koda, and deal with him tomorrow. At this rate, I’ll be wasted, and he’ll have the upper hand. Again. As soon as I’m finished I feel his presence disappear, leaving cold air in his wake. I look around, searching for him, but he’s nowhere in sight.

“You’re in trouble,” Angel sings.

Prince smirks. “You didn’t have to piss him off."

“Oh, but she did,” Koda says, reappearing behind me.

“Yo, look who it is! The fucking trifecta!” Gavin finally decides to say hello for the first time tonight. Fucking jackass.

“Who the fuck is that?” Koda growls. Gavin does that to people. Everyone, honestly. I flip around, and Koda is over me, around me; he’s basically everywhere but inside of me.

“Don’t be a dick,” I warn him.

“I’m not,” he says nonchalant.

“I’m being serious,” I hiss as Angel and Prince talk to Gavin. “Angel is going to break up with Gavin tomorrow.”

“Good. He seems like a douche. Guess you’ll both need a ride home them.” He reaches around me and lines up four shots, pouring liquor into them.

“I thought you weren’t drinking?”

“I’m not. You are. Are you gonna take the shots or not?” Koda smirks, the picture of charm. Fuck, he's charming.

“What do ya say, Gav?” He hates it when I call him that. “Wanna take shots with us?”

“Of course I fucking do. So whose the new sex doll?” Gavin asks. He always seems to think pointing out that I have copious amounts of sex is going to upset me. At one point, he told Angel she shouldn’t be friends with me because I’m a slut.

“Gavin,” Angel admonishes him.

Koda practically growls. I reach back and grab his side in warning. Last time someone said some shit about me he ended up in jail. I don’t need that right now.

“This is Koda. Actually, you’ve probably heard of him. Koda Armory?”

Koda’s arm possessively wraps around my waist, pulling me into him.

“Well, gah damn, Slut heart. Look at you. Climbing dicks to the top.”

“Hey." Prince purses his lips. “Be respectful.”

They were friends, once. Until he started dating Angel.

“So sorry, I’m just drunk,” Gavin snickers.

I give a big fake smile. “It’s okay, Prince. I remember my first beer. Get our buddy, Gavin, here a baby shot. Maybe mix it with some water. Wouldn’t want him to get whiskey dick later.”

If looks could kill, Gavin’s would be slitting my throat. That’s right. I know. Koda fills another cup and scoots it across the counter.

“Extra strong.” He winks.

I almost choke because holy shit. For once, Koda and I are fully on the same page.

“To Gavin’s dick!” I hold the shot in the air. Gavin looks around pretending that he thinks it’s as funny as I do, but if he could choke me to death he definitely would.

We take the next round, but Koda pulls my back to his chest and puts another shot to my lips.

“Open,” he commands, feeding it to me before the others can recover. I instinctively do as he says.

“That’s a good little slut,” he purrs into my ear. The hair on my arms rise and goosebumps spread across my skin. I can’t help but to be turned on.

Gavin abandons us immediately to go say hi to someone who probably doesn’t exist. Koda takes the blunt from behind my ear and sticks it between my lips. He grabs a lighter from the counter and flicks it open. The end turns cherry red and crackles as I inhale. It’s a pretty good representation of what’s happening between us right now.

“Damn,” Angel slurs. “See, that’s what I’m looking for.”

“Koda Armory? Oh my gosh, it’s Koda Armory!” Some girl shouts. Her friends are flanking her, and they’re all clearly inebriated. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

Her skirt is almost baring her ass and her tits are hanging out. A fucking Stacy. Such a Gavin move. I bet he sent them over here.

“Neither did I."

I don’t look at him. I try not to acknowledge that he’s even there. I shove my ass into him forcing him away. Jealousy crawls up my back. I shouldn’t even be jealous. I don’t care what Koda does. We’re not even a thing. We’re at war, and this is all a game. He’s free to do whatever he wants. Although, he always seems to enjoy monopolizing my time when it suits him.

An artist named Bud that I met at the last convention is leaning against the wall. I take the opportunity to get away from Koda and drown out his conversation.

“Hey. I’m not sure if you remember me. You’re Bud, right?”

“How the hell could I forget?” he chuckles. “Sweetheart. Prince swears you’re the number one tattoo artist in the nation. After you won that award, I agree. I didn’t think you’d still be hanging around.”

“I’m still in school,” I giggle.

“Fuck school. You don’t need that shit. Prince told me I can’t have a chair at his new place because it’s for you.”

I chance a glance behind me. Koda is gone. So are the girls. A pang of hurt runs through me so I focus back on Bud.

“I don’t know about Texas. It’s so hot and dry. I think I could do it if it was the beach.”

“I’m gonna go check it out in a few weeks. You could tag along if you want. A few other artists are gonna go. Make it an ink-cation.” He leans in a fraction.

“That sounds like a hell of a time.” I’m not fucking going. If I’m going to visit Prince I’m taking Angel.

“Will your boyfriend be coming with you?” He’s digging for an answer.

“Don’t have one.” I give him a devious grin, and Bud bites his lip, his eyes darting to my tits.

“I’m sorry. I guess I just thought that big dude was your boyfriend. He was being all touchy and shit." He straightens. "Is he bothering you?”

“Oh, him? No. I think he left with those girls.”

“Cool. Cool. Do you want another drink?” he offers.

“I would love one.” I drawl. I’m not drinking shit from anyone ever again, but that’s not the point.

He looks at me hungrily. “Don’t go anywhere."

If Koda can do what he wants, so can I. His comment about us doing anything later is an empty promise. I’m not going to come just because he tells me to. I’m going to come regardless of if he's there or not.

“Wow,” Angel comments, leaning into me.

“Wow, what?” I glower.

“Koda is here, all over you, and here you are with Bud ready to jump down your throat. You’re a stone cold bitch.”

“Koda went to go bang those Stacy’s.” I pretend not to care, because I don’t want to.

“I don’t think so,” she disagrees. “Pretty sure he went to the bathroom just to get rid of them.”

“Whatever,” I dismiss her. “He’s probably having a threesome in there.”

“Okay, but you’re delusional.” she giggles, then holds herself up against the wall. “Do you think Gavin’s pissed?”

I laugh. “Pissed is an understatement. Pretty sure he’d kill me if he knew where I lived. The whiskey dick really sent him to the grave.”

Angel spits out her drink onto some guy next to us. He turns, ready to fight, but sees that it’s us.

“You’re insane,” she screeches. “That was one of the top ten moments of my life.”

“Trust me. There will be better ones.”

“Ya know, your boyfriend really sold it. That was the icing on the cake. I wish a guy like Koda would be obsessed with me.”

“What? We just hate each other. That’s it.”

“That’s why he gave you a car, showed up unannounced, and has been like a dog bringing you bones all night. He’s practically begging for your attention.”

“He’s just being polite because I fucking hate it.”

“Politely asking to have sex with you,” she snorts. “Speaking of the devil.” Angel shoves her face into her cup.

“Drink,” Koda says from behind me.

Before I can react, a cup is back to my lips. It’s strong, burning as it travels down my throat. I flip around to glare at him, but he’s already disappearing into the crowd. Some girl who seems to know Angel interrupts, dragging her into a conversation. Prince saunters up and hands me water.

“What’s the deal with Koda?” he asks me directly.

“There is no deal.”

“Oh, there’s a deal.”

I give him a side glance. He’s watching Angel with amusement as he talks to me. “What would make you say that?”

“You’re not a good liar, Sweetheart.”

“You need to stop coming back to visit.”

He sips his beer. “Someone has to call you on your shit since Penny is gone."

“I liked it better when you were silent and stoic.” I elbow him.

“It’s not my business, but we’ve been friends long enough for me to be able to see when you’re aggravated.”

“I’m always aggravated,” I argue.

“You’re jealous,” he presses further.

“I’m not,” I scoff. “We just hate fuck. That’s it. I don’t care what he does.”

He gives me a skeptical look. “He cares what you do.”

Bud saves the day, passing me a shot and leaning into me. “Sorry it took me so long. Got sidetracked. What are we talking about?”

“Bud!” someone shouts. “Come here and show this guy that tattoo I did on that coaster at fuckin’ Disneyland.”

His eyes scan me hungrily one more time, and he turns around to address the group. I take the moment to try to shake the alcohol from my system and pour the shot into a fake plant. I’m drunk. Very drunk. I head to the bathroom and lock myself in. Looking into the mirror, I can see that I’m a sweating mess, so I splash cool water on my face and try to get a grip.

Bud is definitely interested. I decide I'm going to fuck him. It’s not like Koda can do anything about it, and he has practically given his blessing by getting me drunk and leaving me with him in the first place. Plus, that girl was ready to fuck him in front of everyone. I’m allowed to distract myself.

After a few fists on the door demanding I get out, I finally leave, breezing past the line that has accumulated. I notice the Stacy and her friends giggling in the hallway and avoid them entirely. I take a lap around the party, but I don't see Koda anywhere. When I finally make it back to where I last saw Angel, she’s gone. Shit.

“Where’d Angel go?” I ask the girl she had been talking to. She points at the front door, and I panic. I’ve seen Angel pretty drunk, but Prince is engrossed in some conversation and this is breakup drunk. That’s different.

I shove my way through people and stumble outside. I hear someone retching. Low and behold, Angel is in the bushes, puking. I rush over, fall down in my drunken stupor, and grab her hair. We gotta go. I look around wildly trying to figure out what to do. I definitely can’t drive.

Would Koda really leave this party? I might be annoyed, but this isn’t about me. Angel will absolutely die if she wakes up tomorrow and remembers puking in front of Gavin. He’ll make her feel like shit, and she won’t break up with him. I go to pull my phone out of my pocket, but it’s not there. I left it at the shop. Fuck.

“I cannot be seen like this,” she frets, sitting down. I hand her my water, and she rinses her mouth out.

“You won’t be. I swear. I just gotta find Koda or something.”

It’s like he heard his fucking name. He appears in the doorway and sees us, analyzing the situation. He comes down the steps with sober ease. “Don’t fucking take off like that.”

“This isn’t the time.” I nod toward Angel.

His jaw tightens, but he reaches down and picks her up, then grabs me with his other hand. Without a word he stuffs her into the back of the car and then forces me into the passenger seat, pulling the keys out of his pocket.

“What were you going to do if the car was stolen?” he asks, the party disappearing behind us.

“I dunno. Figure it out.” I shrug.

“Wait, no, he’s drunk,” Angel whines from the backseat.

“He didn’t drink," I reassure her.

“Is she gonna throw up?” he asks.

“Nah, I’m good. Just need sleep,” she slurs, her eyes already closed. After a few moments of silence, Angel starts snoring.

“Where does she live?”

“Take the next exit and go left. First street on the right.” He nods, following my directions.

When we get to Angel’s house I dig her keys out of her purse, and Koda carries her inside. She lives in a little one bedroom apartment. It’s so cute inside, very much like her. I scribble a note quickly, telling her that we took her home and to call me when she wakes up. Then we tuck her into bed, leaving three bottles of water next to her. Koda and I are honestly a pretty good team.

“Put my number,” he mutters over my shoulder. “You don’t have your phone.”

“I don’t know your number.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs the pen, writing ‘Koda’s number because I’m being a nuisance’ then puts his number behind it. I want to deck him in the face, but I don’t have the energy to do anything except for frown. “I guess I’m not going home?”

“Not a chance.” He leads me out of the place and locks the door behind him, forcing me back into the car.

I stick my hand out. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?”

“What? Are you hiding something? Don’t worry. I won’t text Stacy and company.”

He laughs, pulling it from his pocket and handing it over. “I know we’re playing games, Ash. I’m only doing it because I know you like it. You don’t have sex with anyone except for me, and I don’t want anyone else. Stacy can fuck herself for all I care.”

I swallow. I’m still very very drunk, and when I’m this drunk I say shit I don’t want to say. “Why did you come out here? How did you even get out here?”

“Alexi." He relaxes into the seat and holds his hand out. We’ve never held hands before. It feels juvenile. I just stare at it.

“Ashland. I’m fucking tired. I understand affection is a foreign concept to you, but I just went to a party where I watched you flirt with some tattooed asshole and carried your drunk friend into her house so she wouldn’t embarrass herself in front of the smallest dick in America. You win this round, alright? Hold my fucking hand.”

I pick his up by his finger like it’s a used tissue. “What do I do with it?”

“Jesus Christ.” He rolls his eyes into the back of his head and snags my wrist, taking his hands off of the wheel and forcing my fingers to intertwine with his.

“Calm down. I’ve never held someone’s hand before.” I haven’t. The way he looks at me makes me feel stupid.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” I look out of the window. It feels weird; good and uncomfortable at the same time.

“Guess I got a first of something.”

I try to take my hand back, but he grips it until I concede. “It just wasn’t a thing.”

“Who the fuck did you date before me?” he scoffs.

“I’m not dating you, and he didn’t make me hold his fucking hand.”

“Sounds like an idiot.”

“Not a lot of hand holding when you’re fucking.”

“I’m well aware of your history, Ashland. It doesn’t bother me like you think it does.”

“It should,” I mumble.

“What exactly was your goal tonight?”

“I didn’t think you'd find me, honestly.”

“That’s exactly what you wanted, and you know it. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have cut my shirt into a flimsy fucking bra and worn it to a party full of alternative inked up polite assholes.”

“What?” I glance down innocently. “It looks cute.”

“I didn’t say that I didn’t like it.” We pull into the parking lot of the condo, and he turns the car off but doesn’t make a move to let me out. He’s riled up. I can tell.

“You’re still mad I went to the party.”

“Not mad. Just…You fucking scared me.” He looks over at me with sage green eyes. “I don’t care if you go to a goddamn party. It’s all the other shit. If you don’t have your phone, you can’t fucking call me. If I’m not there, I can’t protect you. Any of those guys could have drugged you.”

I did scare him. I can see it on his face. He was terrified. That’s why he was so perturbed when he showed up.

“It really bothered you that much when you found me at that football party?”

“Yeah, it bothered me,” he laughs incredulously. “You were on the fucking floor, and I couldn’t wake you up.”

“So the whole Cole fight wasn’t a jealous thing?”

“Hell no. I mean…Maybe a little, but he fucking left you at that party after hurting your feelings. I don't like him, but I thought that he would've taken you home. He showed his true colors that night. So, yeah, when I saw him again I fucking hit him. I don’t regret it.”

“You hurt my feelings. Not Cole,” I argue. I try to take my hand back, but he holds on until I give up.

“I know that I hurt your fucking feelings, Ashland. Believe me. Penny called me Judas.”

That makes me laugh. “Good.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what my problem is, and I don’t know what yours is either. You’re impossible to read, and you speak this made up language that Penny only semi-understands. I want more, and I mean it. I’m not giving you a choice because every time I do, you don’t choose me. Yeah, I’m a fucking narcissist who doesn’t understand rejection or whatever. If you really really want me to leave you alone, I’ll try.”

I feel weird and flattered. Koda leaving me alone sends a sick feeling to my stomach. “I guess you can harass me.”

He looks relieved, like he thought I’d tell him to go away. “Good.”

He lets me out of the car and takes my hand again, dragging me up the stairs behind him.

“I’ve got like an hour max,” I yawn. “Then I’m gonna pass out, so you’ve got like thirty minutes.”

Koda tosses the keys onto the counter and leads me into the bedroom. “I’m not having sex with you. You can barely stand.”

“Then why am I here?” I sprawl out onto the bed. He steps in front of me, yanking my cloth of a shirt over my head, pulling off my jeans, then putting another one of his shirts over me.

“Because you need to go to sleep.” He kicks his jeans off and pulls on some sweatpants, then shoves me back onto the bed.

“Fine. I’ll just call a ride share.” I start trying to stand up, and he drags me backwards.

“You don’t have a phone. I’m not calling one. Stay.”

“No, I don’t do that. Only when I’m blackout.”

He huffs. “You already held my hand, and you don’t do that either.”

I sit crisscross and glare at him. “I don’t sleep.”

“Everyone sleeps.”

“Not me." I pick at the comforter. The truth is that I’m fucking embarrassed. I don't have dreams, only nightmares.

“I know you scream,” he says gently.

I bite my lip. “Are you going to ask me about it?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No.”

He grabs my hips and drags me into him, then throws the covers over me. “Fucking try it. If you hate it that much I won’t make you do it again.”

“Ugh.” I fall into the pillows, and he wraps his arm around me. “Only cause I’m trashed.”

“You know, I’ve never let someone stay either.”

He’s warm and it feels fucking nice as his finger traces my tattoos. “Really?” I murmur.

“You’re the first girl who actually ran out of the door. Usually, I’d have to kick them out, but you’re the only one I wanted to stay.”

“Gross.”

“Super gross.”

My lids are heavy, and my breaths even out. “If I wake up screaming, don’t say shit about it.”

For the first time in a long time, I don’t have any dreams at all.