Page 122 of Saving Ren

“Gabe, no.” Lauren’s hand cups the side of my face as she holds it in place. Eyes on me, she shakes her head as she talks. “I know it’s not a word you want to hear, and I know it’s a word I’ve said I hate, but you were a victim, Gabe. . .”

“It’s not just what happened with Jackie, it’s the way I’ve lived the rest of my life. My marriage, the one-night stands.”

“But that’s all been influenced by what she did to you. If that hadn’t happened, you might’ve worked things out with Lena, or maybe just never been in the position of getting her pregnant in the first place.”

My eyes trail a path over every inch of Lauren’s face. This fucking woman. She has me talking about things I never discuss and feeling things I’ve never felt. And I’m not sure what those feelings are. What I do know is, they terrify me.

I nod because I don’t know what else to do. And then I kiss her.

“You took your boots off,” I say against her mouth. Deciding that we need to move things along and away from all the heavy shit, I trail a path of kisses to her ear.

She lets out a long slow breath, I think it’s because she’s enjoying my kisses, but then she says, “Well, I was either going to end up throwing one at you, or kicking you in the nuts while wearing them, so I thought it better to take them off.”

“Maybe now you’re calmer and not acting like a crazy redheaded Essex bird, you might wanna put them back on?”

“Maybe later, I’m actually starving. I’ve not eaten all day.”

“I could eat. Whadya fancy?” I ask.

“I really fancy fish and chips,” she says against my neck, her hot breath breathing life back into my dick which had shrivelled up and been hiding for most of the afternoon.

“I’ve had too much to drink, Ren, I can’t drive, and I don’t know anywhere that delivers.”

“I’ll go,” she adjusts her position, looks up at me, and says.

“You’re gonna drive my truck?” I question.

“I can drive a truck, babe. Can drive anything. You were eight when I got my license remember, so don’t even go there with that crap.”

“Ooooh, and the Essex is back.” That earns me an eye roll.

“Gimme your keys.” She holds out her hand. “Whadya fancy?”

“You,” I tell her as I slide my hand around and find her naked tit.

She wriggles out of my lap but continues to hold out her hand.

“They’re in there on the bench.” I gesture with my head. “Just get me fish and chips.”

She leans in, I open my legs and wrap my arms around her waist, bringing her down and flush against me.

“These last two days have been a shit show,” I look directly into her eyes and say. “But now you know it all.”

She nods.

“Everyone has a past, Gabe, and now I know what’s happened inyourpast, it’ll hopefully help me better understand you in the future. I’ve still got things to process and overthink, that’s just the way I am, but thank you for sharing it all with me, I know none of that could’ve been easy to talk about.”

I shrug.

“I’d like to say you’re welcome, but I hated every fucking minute of it,” I admit.

“Well, you hated doing that about as much as I hate doing what I’m about to do.”

Not knowing what she’s about to say, I feel myself tense and my gut pulls up tight.

“What?” I question.

“I don’t have any money to buy fish and chips with.”