Page 116 of Saving Ren

A triple salto is added to my insides’ handsprings and backflips as he moves confidently towards me.

“How’d ya go?” he asks quietly, kissing my cheek and taking my hand.

“Good,” I respond. “There’s a lot of work, it’s a big place, and some rooms haven’t been touched since it was built in the seventies. I’d really like to keep some of that vibe. Kind of hippy, boho, meets log cabin type of feel,” I talk as I pull him into the entryway.

We stop, and both stare up at the ceiling. Gabe whistles between his teeth.

“Sorry, Lauren. I had to take that. . .”

Silence.

“Karen, sorry. Gabe’s the builder I was telling you about. He’s local and was able to come straight up to take a look around.”

Her eyes are on Gabe but slice to where our hands are joined. My fingers twitch as, for a split second, I think about letting go, but Gabe’s grip is now so tight, I wouldn’t be able to do that without making a scene.

I look from Karen to Gabe, confused for a moment as to why he’s not introducing himself. Why the silence?

“Gabe,” I almost whisper his name. “This is. . .”

“Gabe?” Karen interrupts my introduction.

They know each other?

Gabe turns his head towards me, and when his eyes meet mine, he shakes it. It’s so slow, so subtle, but it changes everything, making my own head spin.

“Karen, how are you?”

From where Gabe and I stand just inside the front door, I look to where she’s still standing in the middle of the room. She’s so still for so long, I start to think she didn’t hear him.

My scalp begins to prickle, and my mouth has gone completely dry as realisation washes over me. I wonder if Karen’s mouth has done the same as I watch her lick her lips, nod her head slightly and let out a short, sharp breath. In a heartbeat, it’s gone. She pulls herself together and gives us both a perfectly composed smile.

But it’s fake. It doesn’t look fake. But I know, Ijust knowit’s fake.

“I’m good. Very good. I didn’t realise you knew Lauren.” Her eyes flash to where Gabe’s still holding my hand before darting between me and him, then turning her back on us.

“Well, let’s have a walk through the place, I’ll tell you my thoughts, and you can tell me if it’s doable,” she calls out as she walks away from us.

I attempt to pull my hand from his, but Gabe’s grip tightens as he leans in and whispers into my ear.

“Don’t.”

* * *

Almost two torturous hours later,we pull out of Karen’s drive.

“We need. . .”

“You need to drive,” I interrupt whatever he’s going to say.

I’ve spent the last couple of hours going over in my head what I would say to him. I had it clear and concise, and now it’s just a jumbled mess.

I can accept that he’s had a past. He’s thirty-five, he’s been married, has a child, none of that is an issue for me. I can accept that he’s only been interested in casual hook ups for most of his adult life. I’ve been confused but becoming convinced it was the truth as to why that’s all changed, and he now wants to start something permanent with me.

But what I’m struggling with is if my suspicions are right, he has a past that involves Karen McAlister, and my brain is about to burst as I attempt to work out how and when that could’ve happened at a time Karen wasn’t married.

“I was eighteen. . .”

“Just drive the fucking car, Gabe,” I again interrupt him, not ready to hear what he has to say while I’m in such a confined space, one that puts me in such close proximity to him.