Page 41 of Santino (The Camboy Network #4)

CHAPTER

THIRTY-EIGHT

SANTINO

In the end, Bellamy managed to convince Noel not to hold their wedding at that hideous mansion we went to on the first day of shooting.

Instead, they charter a massive yacht. The thing is like a fucking cruise ship, with a pool on board and everything.

It’s so big, I’ve already gotten lost on it a few times.

We boarded the ship yesterday afternoon and spent the evening lounging in the sun on one of the half dozen outdoor decks. Dinner was served in a formal dining room and then we had a movie night in the salon.

Hayden and I were assigned to a VIP guest room that is by far the nicest bedroom I’ve ever set foot in. Like, I’m kind of afraid to touch anything in case I break it.

The wedding this morning is on the bow of the yacht. It’s a wide, open area with the Atlantic Ocean surrounding us on all sides and the sun shining down on us from above.

Rhys, Angel, Christian, and Hayden are already out there with the yacht’s captain, who will officiate, while Bellamy, Noel, Sebastian, and I are waiting in a couple state rooms. The cameras have all been set up, and since we’re all supposed to be in the wedding, Sebastian hired a couple of his filmmaker friends to be the camera crew.

I’m actually kind of nervous. I’ve never been in a wedding before, never mind a wedding on a fancy yacht where we might get hit by a wave and tossed into the ocean.

But I’m also kind of nervous that Hayden’s out there and I’m in here. I know it’s not my wedding. I’m not the one getting married, but he’ll still be standing there watching me walk down the aisle, so to speak.

“You guys ready?” Sebastian asks, poking his head into the room where Bellamy and I are waiting.

Bellamy takes a deep breath, rubs his hands together, then lets his breath out in one fast exhale. “Uh, yeah, I think so?”

I clap a hand on his shoulder. “You totally got this, bro.”

He gives me a slightly wild look and for a second, I wonder if he’s going to jump off the side of the boat. But then he blinks and he’s back to the cool, calm Bellamy I know.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It’s fine. It’s just Noel. I know Noel. He’s an asshole.”

Oookay. That’s a weird way to reassure himself, but then I’ve never really understood their dynamic, so what the hell do I know?

“Alright, the order is Santino, then me, then Bellamy, then Noel,” Sebastian reminds us. “Santino, you’re with me now. Bellamy, you wait for my friend Connor with the camera to come get you, okay?”

Bellamy nods, then turns to me. “Hey man, thanks so much for everything.” He pulls me into a tight hug that I return.

“Dude, I should be thanking you. You’ve basically changed my life.”

We step back from each other and Bellamy gives me one of his signature smiles that catapulted him to the top of the industry. “You deserve it, man.”

With one last check in the mirror, I follow Sebastian out to the lounge at the front of the yacht. The sliding glass doors have been pulled open so it feels like one giant indoor-outdoor area. We wait in the shadows for the Connor guy to cue the music, then roll cameras, then call out action.

Sebastian gives me the signal to go.

I can’t really feel my feet as I walk. Actually, I’m not sure I can feel any part of my body except for the frantic beating of my heart.

My eyes are drawn immediately to Hayden, dressed in a perfectly form-fitting earthy green suit that shows off the broadness of his shoulders and the narrowness of his waist. His blond curls blow in the wind, looking golden under the bright summer sun.

He had his hands clasped in front of him as he waited with the rest of the guys. But then he turned and saw me. His hands fell to his sides, his lips parted with a silent gasp, and I swear to god, he almost took a step toward me before remembering he needed to stay where he was.

I take my time walking past the lounging area on the bow, my eyes locked on Hayden the entire time. It feels like there’s no one else in the world but the two of us, drawn together by forces way beyond our control.

I didn’t know it was possible to love someone as much as I love Hayden.

Like the entire fucking planet revolves around him.

Like I would die if I didn’t have him in my life.

I didn’t know I’d want to spend every waking moment with this one other person, fall asleep next to him at night, then wake up the next morning and want to do it all again.

With Hayden, I do. Every single day for the rest of my life.

I stop before I actually reach Hayden and my heart lurches at not being able to go to him. But I’ve been assigned to the opposite leg of the V-shape we’re arranged in.

I don’t really remember the other guys walking out to the bow or any of the words the captain says to officiate the wedding.

All of my attention is focused on Hayden, how much I love him, how much I want to drag him back to our state room and slowly peel off every piece of clothing he’s wearing.

I only snap out of my Hayden-trance when Bellamy nudges me on the arm.

“Rings,” he hisses at me.

Oh, shit. I dig into my pocket and pull out the box for him.

Bellamy and Noel exchange rings, kiss with a lot of tongue for the cameras, then we all erupt into applause. And all the while, my eyes never leave Hayden’s.

Later, after breaking for a light lunch and setting up the lounge for the evening reception, Hayden and I are in our state room, getting changed.

He comes out of the bathroom in a pair of beige linen pants and a white linen button-down shirt, open at the collar. His hair and skin are still a bit damp from the shower and the moisture is making the linen kind of see-through.

My breath catches in my chest as I watch him pad around the room.

He’s been going to his weekly therapy appointments, although he still comes out looking wrecked most of the time.

Dr. Tina suggested a really low dose of medication to ease him into it and he just started taking it a couple days ago.

It’s too early to tell if it’s working, but he seems optimistic about it.

Which is the important bit—that he’s hopeful about how things are going. He’s working really hard and doing all the things he’s supposed to, and like, yeah, there are no guarantees or anything, but he’s not giving up. That’s all I can ask for.

Hayden catches me staring at him from where I’m lounging on the bed. He pauses as he’s fastening a blingy gold watch on his wrist and meets my gaze through the mirror.

“Hey,” I say, trying to lower my voice into something seductive, but instead I end up sounding like a teenager going through puberty.

He snorts and breaks out into a brilliant smile. A calming peace settles inside me. Hayden’s going to be okay.

He turns and sets a knee on the foot of the bed. Warmth fills me as he crawls up the bed and lies down next to me. I turn toward him and hook my leg over his.

“Hey,” I whisper again.

“Hey.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We lay there, just soaking in each other’s presence until it’s time to go back out to the lounge.

The sun is at its golden hour, bathing everything in a warm glow.

Fairy lights are strung up around the lounge and giant burgundy flowers are scattered on every surface.

Next to the bar is a table filled with enough food to feed everyone on board for three days.

And next to that is a massive cake. They went with champagne and crème de cassis—good choice.

Upbeat music filters in through hidden speakers.

“When are you guys leaving for California?” Rhys asks, perched on the edge of a couch in the lounge, champagne glass in hand. He’s wearing a peach-colored flowy floor-length dress with his long hair curled into beachy waves.

“Next week,” I answer from the opposite couch. Hayden’s beside me, discussing the catered food with Angel, who’s sitting beside Rhys.

“That should be fun! Right?” I appreciate Rhys’s attempt at being encouraging and concerned at the same time.

“Yeah.” I’m excited to see my family again.

I’ve missed them more than I’m willing to admit.

It’ll be nice to actually say a proper goodbye to them this time rather than just running away without telling them.

But things with my mom are still… not great.

I did finally talk to her for longer than half a minute.

She’s still not thrilled about the whole situation, but we’re making progress.

“And how’s…” He tilts his head subtly in Hayden’s direction. “He feeling about the trip?”

I slide my hand onto Hayden’s thigh and he covers it with his own. “Nervous. But he doesn’t have to be. They’re going to love him.”

Rhys smiles and shoots a quick glance at him. “Oh, definitely. Everyone loves Hayden. I watched your videos, by the way.”

A tickle of nerves makes my stomach twist. “Yeah?” I want to ask what he thinks. But I’m scared. What if they’re bad? What if I’m terrible in them?

Rhys reaches across the low coffee table between us and grabs my hand.

He’s surprisingly strong for someone so petite.

“Girl, they’re fucking amazing. Like, seriously.

It’s so different from the stuff the rest of us do.

It’s so, like, fun! Not that the rest of us aren’t fun.

But you two make fucking look like you’re frolicking in the meadows or something. ”

I’m not sure what to say to that. I mean, sex with Hayden is definitely fun. It’s one of my favorite things to do. But frolicking in the meadows? Okay, I guess. “Thanks. I hope the videos do well. Sebastian thinks they will.”

Rhys nods eagerly. “Oh, they totally will. Be prepared. You’re going to be the next superstar.”

I don’t know about that, but I’ll take his vote of confidence.

Rhys drains the rest of his drink and sets it down on the table. He takes the half-eaten plate Angel’s holding and sets it down too. “Come on, I feel like dancing.” Grabbing Angel’s hand, he jumps to his feet and leads the way toward the open area that’s been designated the dance floor.

I settle back on the couch, cuddled next to Hayden. “Rhys asked how you’re feeling about meeting my family next week.”

He leans into me a little harder. “I just don’t want to… you know… while we’re there.”

Have a depressive episode, he means. “You haven’t had one in a bit.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, but it could happen again.”

I cup his cheek and turn his face toward me to plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Then we’ll deal with it. Just like we’ve done this whole time.”

He looks at me with so much love, it feels like I’m being physically swept off my feet. I forget to breathe. The world around us fades away. And I have to pinch myself to make sure this isn’t a dream.

The music changes to something slower and softer. “Want to dance?” Hayden asks.

I cast a look out toward the dance floor. “I don’t really know how.”

“Neither do I,” he says, standing up and holding out his hand. “But Rhys says all you have to do is sway side to side.”

I think I can do that. We take up a spot next to Rhys and Angel on the dance floor. Hayden’s arms wind around my waist, his hands settling warm and weighty on the small of my back. I slide my hands up around his neck so I can fiddle with the delicate hairs at his nape.

We gaze into each other’s eyes. It’s hard to believe we’re here. That only a couple short months ago, we were total strangers shoved together to share an apartment. And now… he’s the love of my life.

He’s someone I can have fun with. But he’s also someone I want to go through real-life shit with. Because neither of us will give up when it gets tough. We’ll just lean in closer and get stronger together.