Page 17 of Santino (The Camboy Network #4)

CHAPTER

FIFTEEN

HAYDEN

Santino is hot and tight and as I hold him against me, I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams.

God, the sounds he makes. Better than the sounds he makes when he eats and those are already so fucking good. I’m not sure he even knows he’s making them. His head lolls back and forth and his eyes are wild with lust. He sounds primal and animalistic. They’re pure instinct and reaction. No thought.

But he’s not really this sex-crazed creature.

There’s so much kindness and consideration underneath it all.

I nearly cried at how tender he was earlier, helping me get hard.

It felt like he was worshiping me, carefully blessing every inch of my skin.

I’ve never felt so cared for while performing for the camera.

Like it wasn’t just about what looks good for the audience, but that it matters how I feel.

I did take the pill before we started. But I doubt it would’ve helped if it wasn’t for Santino taking the time to bring me all the way there.

I don’t know why he did it. I don’t know why he cares. I’m no one special. I’m not a super competent leader like Sebastian. I’m not a bad boy like Noel. I’m not super sensual like Rhys. I’m just a regular dude who happens to be above average in looks with a big cock.

But from the very first day we met, Santino’s always seen me as more than that. He’s always seen what no one else has.

Santino is strangely taut and yet lax as I hold him in my arms. I can feel every twitch of muscle in his body—inside his body. He keeps clenching down on me, as if he’s testing the size and shape of my cock. He lets out a sobbing gasp every time, like he can’t believe I’m all the way in there.

But I am. I’m seated to the hilt. Every single inch, hard as a rock, buried in the heat of his body. I’d go deeper if I could. Hell, I’d crawl right inside him and take up residence. I’d live here if I could.

Sebastian gives me the signal to continue, but I kind of don’t want to. I want to stay right here and savor Santino on my cock, in my arms. I don’t want to pull out, even just to thrust back in. I don’t want this moment to end.

I can’t actually get much leverage while we’re connected like this, with me holding most of Santino’s weight.

So I rock my hips, pushing in more than pulling out.

Santino whimpers and turns his face toward me.

I press my cheek against his. His stubble is scratchy and it sends tingles across my skin.

He smells all warm and spicy, the scent of cinnamon wrapping around me until I feel like I’m surrounded by him.

He reaches one arm back to bury his fingers into my hair. We kiss. Lazy. Messy. Sweet. It makes my head spin. It sinks deep into my bones, into my marrow. It unravels me.

My eyes sting a little bit and tears start welling up. It’s all just so much. Dealing with the darkness on my own for so long. Having Santino walk into my life and peel back all my protective layers. Finding out it’s not so terrible when I let someone in.

Fuck. I break the kiss and bury my face into the crook of his neck. I can’t think about any of that right now. I need to pull myself together. We’re on camera. It’s not sexy when a camboy suddenly bursts into tears in the middle of a scene.

“Hayden.” Santino’s voice is husky with arousal, but there’s also a hint of awareness, like he knows what’s going on in my head. He tilts his ass up and I sink in just a little bit deeper, then he clenches around my cock.

I gasp at the tightness and my breath comes out in a stuttered exhale. I can do this. I can finish this scene.

Santino reaches out to brace himself with one hand on the edge of the counter. I reluctantly loosen my hold on him so he can lean forward, giving me more leverage to thrust into his body. I take hold of his hips, pull myself out until only the head of my cock is inside, then I slam myself home.

“Yes!” Santino cries out. He throws his head back and reaches down to jerk himself with his free hand.

I set a grueling pace, fucking him hard and fast. Sweat gathers in the deep valley that runs down the middle of his back, glistening under the set lights. The scent of his arousal—of us combined—fills my nose. The sound of my hips slapping against his ass rings through the air.

“Yes! Right there! Right there! Just like that! I’m going to come! Fuck, I’m coming!” Santino shouts right before his whole body seizes up.

I keep pounding into him, fucking him through his orgasm. I wish I could see his face right now. I wish I could see what he looks like when he hits that high. I’ll bet he’s beautiful, gorgeous, angelic.

Next time. Next time we’ll do this face-to-face. So I can gaze into his warm brown eyes, so I can see what ecstasy looks like on him.

The thought of doing this again sends me right over the edge. I’m still inside him when my orgasm first crests and I have to force myself to pull out so I can come on his ass and back for the camera.

Next time I’ll come inside him. I’ll fill him up with my cum. I’ll shoot so deep a part of me stays with him forever.

As my balls empty, I stumble backward, my knees not quite able to keep me upright. I collapse against the opposite counter, chest heaving while I catch my breath. Fuck, I don’t remember the last time I came so hard.

A few feet away, Santino starts shivering. He wraps his arms around himself and his shoulders hunch forward. “Jesus Christ, it’s cold in here.”

Sebastian glances at me. “Hayden?”

But I’m already moving, pushing away from the counter and closing the distance between us. “Come here.” I curl myself around him and he melts into me.

“Was it this cold the entire time?” Santino asks.

“It’s not actually cold,” I explain, rubbing my hands up and down his back. “Your body chemistry is all out of whack after the scene. It’s basically an adrenaline crash.”

“Oh, shit.” Santino tilts his head back to look at me. “Are you crashing too?”

I shake my head. “Doesn’t happen with everyone. I’m usually okay.”

He nestles into me again. “Good,” he says.

Suddenly, I feel like a puppy who’s been told he’s a good boy. I hold him closer. “Skin-to-skin contact helps the body adjust more quickly,” I explain, nuzzling his hair.

“Mmm, I dunno.” Santino slips his arms out from where they were pinned between us and slides them around my waist, plastering himself to me. “I think I’m gonna need a couple more hours of this before I feel adjusted.”

My eyes close, a spark of something I haven’t felt in a long time igniting inside me. Something that feels like peace, like contentment.

Eventually, we get cleaned up and put our clothes on. But we’re never more than an arm’s length away from each other. A hand on the waist, resting a chin on a shoulder, pressing into each other’s sides—every touch feels essential to my very existence.

Sebastian catches us before we leave and my stomach sinks. But instead of trying to interrogate me again, he simply claps me on the shoulder. “You did a good job today.”

I nod, not trusting my voice as big, unwieldy emotions well up inside me.

Santino and I cuddle on the car ride back to my apartment and we awkwardly squeeze in side-by-side as we walk up the stairs.

When we get home, we head straight to the couch as if this is something we’ve been doing with each other every single day for the past decade.

We lie down and curl up together, arms and legs tangled, faces so close our noses brush.

That’s how we fall asleep.

It’s dark when I wake up again. For a moment, I don’t remember what day it is or where I am. Then it all comes back to me. The shoot. Santino. The couch.

Santino’s sitting on the floor next to me, back against the couch.

His face is illuminated by his phone screen as he scrolls through social media.

I don’t recognize the people in the photos, but a few of them look kind of like Santino.

There’s an older couple that could be his parents.

Then two women in their late thirties with partners and children. Santino’s in a few of the photos too.

Is that his family? Does he miss them? Is he homesick?

Guilt lodges itself in the middle of my chest. It dawns on me suddenly that I know next to nothing about Santino’s life before he showed up in my apartment. I don’t know if he’s close to his family or if he’s got friends waiting for him back home. Maybe he even has a boyfriend he hasn’t mentioned.

All I’ve cared about is me, me, me. What can Santino do for me? How can he help me? I’ve never once stopped to consider he might have stuff he’s dealing with. He might be going through his own shit too.

You’re such a selfish prick.

I flinch at the voice and the movement catches Santino’s attention. He looks over his shoulder and a soft smile graces his lips when he sees I’m awake. “You good?”

As good as I can be with the darkness always lingering at the edges of my mind. “Yeah.” I nod toward his phone. “Is that your family?”

He glances at his phone again before dropping it into his lap. “Yeah, it is.”

“Do you miss them?”

He chuckles dryly. “More like I feel guilty.”

Defensiveness rises up in me at the thought of Santino feeling guilty about anything. “Why?”

He gives me a sheepish look. “They don’t know I’m here. I never told them.”

I turn onto my side to get more comfortable. Santino takes my hand and lifts it to his cheek. His stubble is scratchy against the back of my hand as he nuzzles it. The intimate touch pushes the voice back momentarily. “Why didn’t you tell them?”

Santino scoffs lightly. “They would’ve freaked out and tried to stop me from coming.”

“Why would they do that?”

He hesitates and when he speaks again, there’s a wistfulness to his voice.

“I’m the baby in the family. Like, literally the youngest cousin in my generation.

My two older sisters are ten and twelve years older than me.

My whole family is really overprotective, but my mom is the worst. She almost disowned me for moving to San Francisco and that’s only a few hours away.

She would actually disown me if I told her I was coming to New York.

That or she’d fly out here and drag me back herself. ”

I blink in the darkness. I have no idea what that would feel like.

My family couldn’t care less where I live.

I haven’t spoken to them in years and I don’t think anyone misses anyone else.

“But you’re only here for a few weeks. It’s not like you’re moving to New York.

” I nearly choke on the words as I say them.

Santino’s only here temporarily. Then he’ll be leaving.

“Yeah,” he says with a sigh. Although I think there’s a silent “but” in there somewhere.

His voice grows small and vulnerable. “My life isn’t really going anywhere back home.

That’s why I jumped on the documentary thing when Bellamy called.

It’s why I asked Sebastian if I could do more while I’m here. ”

What does that mean? Does he want to stay in New York after he’s finished these projects? Seeds of hope plant themselves inside me before I can smother them. It's not a good idea to dream about Santino staying here permanently. It’ll only end in disappointment and hurt.

Nobody stays. Everyone leaves.

Then I’ll be all alone again.

I swallow around the tightness in my throat.

“Do you think…” He sounds vulnerable in a way I haven’t heard from him before. “Do you think our video will do well?”

I don’t usually keep tabs on that type of stuff. Sebastian handles the business end of things. I just do what he says will work. But this time, I really, really want our video to do well. I want it to outperform every other video The Camboy Network has ever made. “I hope so.”

“Do you think Sebastian will let me join The Camboy Network if it does?” Santino asks with his eyes downcast. His fingers grip my hand tightly, like he’s bracing himself for my answer. But he doesn’t need to worry.

“He will.” I haven’t been confident in myself for a while now—in my ability to perform, in my value to my friends. But I am absolutely certain about this: if Santino wants to join The Camboy Network, I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen.