Page 5

CHAPTER 5

AMELIA

Flashbulbs go off from each and every direction as we make another stop on the red carpet, turning to face the throng of reporters. This is where I feel the most out of my element. It’s never been the place where I’m comfortable, nor do I necessarily enjoy it. I do realize at some point I’ll have to get used to it because this is my life now, and I’ve signed up for the long haul. Tristan squeezes my hand as we greet everyone who’s gathered to see us tonight. People and cameras go as far as my eyes can see.

Tristan entwines his fingers with mine, his voice soft so that only I can hear. “Smile for me, Lia.”

Even if I didn’t feel like it at this moment, I’d do it for him because of the lilt of his voice. It’s got a boyish innocence to it. One I don’t hear often. At the same time, I have slight anxiety because I know if we don’t seem happy with one another, it will be the first thing on the front pages tomorrow morning. Looking over at my husband, I give the biggest smile, because I am happy we’re together and on the red carpet. No matter if we’ve just had a little tiff, this is still my favorite place to be.

Looking out among the crowd, I see a group of small children. They’re holding out a couple of bouquets. Glancing over at Parker and the detail he has for the night I nod to the group, asking quickly. “Is it okay for me to go get that?”

He glances over to where I’ve indicated. “Yes. Let me make sure someone goes with you.”

I lie back for a few moments until I see a member of the security detail walking toward me. Letting go of Tristan’s hand, I quickly make my way over to them.

The kids run to me, all smiling as they see me bending down. The littlest one grins the biggest. “You are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” I grab the flowers they are holding out to me.

“Queen Amelia!” Their voices are full of excitement. “We brought this for you!”

“Thank you so much! This is my favorite thing all night,” I tell them as I hold the flowers tightly in my fingers. “Are your parents letting you stay up late?”

“Yes, they’re keeping us home from school tomorrow since we’re up past our bedtimes tonight.”

A memory of my mom letting me do the same thing when we would come to events like this, to meet the king and queen, plays back in my head. I only met her once, and it was as if she was larger than life. All the glitter on her dresses and the sparkling of the diamonds. The bright colors of the jewels and her crown, the rings on her hands. The dark, rich hues of her dress. It was some of the most magical memories I’ve ever had. Once I learned who I would be and what my destiny was, I thought about the colors of the jewels and dresses I would wear, and I would wonder if I would appear to be as beautiful as she was. I can only hope that I am half the person she was.

Tristan comes over, gently grabbing my elbow, letting me know that it’s time for us to leave. Parker is already standing at the entrance waiting for us. I glance back down at the children, sorry that I have to leave. “You all be good for your parents now, and thank you so much for the flowers.”

They smile brightly, promising to do what their mother asks before Tristan and I make our way inside the ballroom. I feel the gazes on me as we enter.

This is still something I’m not used to, being the center of attention, people wondering what dress I’m wearing, what jewels I have on. Who did my hair and makeup? Wanting to have a duplicate of all my clothing. I can feel them looking me up and down, judging how I appear, more than likely seeing the doubt in my eyes. The doubt is something I haven’t been able to overcome. Instead of it not bothering me as much as it did in the beginning, it’s started to bother me more. I haven’t told Tristan about it, or anyone else for that matter.

It’s my little secret.

Or not so little.

“Are you ready?” he asks as he escorts me to our table.

Neither one of us has to give a speech tonight, which is a blessing. We can enjoy the night out and be ourselves.

When we’re seated, I don’t recognize the people sitting with us, but Tristan seems to. He goes around the table introducing me to members of the cabinet that vote on the issues for Haldonia. I do my best to keep their names in my mind, but I know I’ll never remember them all.

He leans into my ear, whispering softly. I can feel the breath move the hair, and it causes a shiver to work its way down my back. “Don’t worry, Lia. You won’t have to say a word to these people. They’re just happy to sit at the same table with you.”

“And I’m just happy to sit with you,” I answer, an impish smirk on my face.

He chuckles darkly. “Words can’t express how badly I wish tonight was just the two of us.”

I’ve had that same wish lately. Everything has been pushed onto us. Appearances here, appearances there. No time together and trying to make everything work. It’s hard, especially when you’re newlyweds. Harder when the eyes of a nation are upon you. Instead of telling him I understand, I lean into his arm. “Don’t worry. It’ll be just the two of us soon.”

He’s about to say something else when someone takes the podium at the front of the room. I settle in, ready for a night of long speeches. Trying to pretend like I’m interested when really all I can think about is the man sitting next to me and when exactly we can leave for the beach.

It feels like hours until the speeches come to an end and dinner is put in front of us. Small talk is the name of the game as I try to keep up with everything everyone says to my husband. Sometimes I wonder how he does it all, how he knows what to say and when to say it. How to schmooze and when to leave it alone.

It’s so much to remember. Such a fine line to walk. One wrong word and you’ve pissed off a nation. A right one and you’ve made them happy for years to come. It’s pressure, pressure that I don’t know either one of us was prepared to deal with.

When there’s a lag in conversation, I signal to Parker that I need to go to the women’s restroom. He responds back that he understands what I’m asking for. There’s a woman standing next to him who I’m sure is my detail for the night. She comes over, pulling my chair out. It’s then that Tristan notices I’m ready to get up.

“Do you need help?” he asks.

“No,” I answer, shaking my head. “Just a trip to the ladies’ room. I have my shadow, and I’ll be back in a moment.”

He nods, his eyes looking anxious, which is odd. I’m protected, and there’s no reason for him to be uneasy. Again, it reminds me to ask him later if something is going on.

He drops a kiss to the back of my hand. “Please be careful.”

“Always.” I give it a squeeze.

My detail and I—I’ve learned not to ask anything about them. I have a different one each time I go to the women’s restroom. Another thing I’ve learned is to wait until they tell me it’s okay to proceed. She looks under all the stalls and does a cursory check. “You’re good to go, ma’am.”

“Thank you.” I smile at her because it’s still in me to be polite. “I’ll try not to take too long, but this dress is a little tricky.”

She smiles back. “Trust me, I understand. Normally during my days I’m wearing pants and a button-down shirt. It was hard for me to get into this for tonight.”

We share a laugh, understanding as only women can do before I quickly go inside.

As I’m doing my business, I hear her turning people away. Another thing I’ll never get used to. No one is allowed to be in the bathroom when I am. When we’re in public like this, I originally tried to hold it. In the beginning I held it until we got back to the castle, but now I understand that sometimes I need a moment from the public’s eye. Surprisingly, it’s not hard to get the dress off and back on. When I come out, she’s waiting for me. She helps me wash my hands, and as I’m drying them off, I look at her. “Can you check to make sure I’ve got everything in its place.”

“No problem. Turn around for me.”

I do as asked. She gives me two thumbs up to let me know I’ve done well on my own. Hands washed, dried, and clothes in place, I tell her I’m ready to go back out.

She holds her finger up to advise me to hang on for a moment. When I nod that I understand, she goes out and presumably takes a look around. Seconds later, she’s back inside, motioning for me to come on.

When we’re back in the corridor, there are a few people milling around. I give them my most serene smile and nod. As we enter the ballroom, someone comes out at the same time, accidentally hitting me in the shoulder. My detail immediately stops them.

“I’m so sorry,” the man says as he bows. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“It’s okay,” I tell him. “No harm, no foul.” But when he looks back up at me, his blue eyes are ice cold, and for once, I know exactly what the expression means about someone walking all over your grave. Our gazes hold as my detail turns me back toward my husband.

And as I sit down, I can feel his eyes on me, sending a shiver through my body.

Tristan looks over at me. “Are you cold?”

“No.” I shake my head slightly. “Just a chill.” But somehow this innocent meeting seems so much more than that.