Page 20

CHAPTER 20

AMELIA

His long lashes are fluttering against his smooth skin. I would give anything to know what he’s dreaming, what he’s reliving. It doesn’t look good, not with the way his head is thrashing against the luxurious material of our sheets. Reaching out, I run my fingers along his forehead. It’s hot and wet with sweat. His eyes pop open as if he’s on high alert, and he sits straight up in the bed.

“It’s okay, Tris, it’s me.”

“Are you in trouble? Is someone here to hurt us?”

The fact that he’s worried about being safe in our home is terrifying. “We’re fine. You’re fine. Things are going to be okay.”

He grabs hold of my wrist, his fingers tightening in a circle around it. “I don’t know that, Lia. I’ve always assumed if you be the good, then you’ll get it back, but look at what’s happening around us. So many good people who had absolutely nothing to do with any of this are gone, and for what end? A piece of land that was never theirs to begin with?”

My heart hurts for him. He’s been on the leading edge of this shit show since the beginning. From the night we were fired upon, he’s worked day and night to ensure the people of his country are safe. Unfortunately, that hasn’t always been the case, and won’t always be, because of the world we live in. “We don’t always know the end. We just have to pray that the end will justify the means.”

He swallows roughly before glancing up at me. “It’s hell, Lia. Every single night. It’s hell. Hearing the screams, the cries of my men. Those who are in pain, both mental and physical. The ones who are missing their family members and their homes. I can’t bring them back, and it kills me.”

He tightens his hands into fists and beats against the bed.

“Stop.” I reach out, putting my hands over his to halt it. “If you have aggression, take it out on me.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking.” His voice is full of gravel and deeper than I’ve ever heard. “You don’t understand what I’m capable of anymore.”

My heart is pounding so loudly, I’m not sure how he can’t hear it. It’s a reverberation in my ears so strong that I want to reach up and cover them. Even when I know all it’s going to do is magnify the sound. “I trust you,” I whisper. “With everything I am, I trust you. I can take whatever it is you need or want to give me. Believe it or not, I want to be the person that you come to with those feelings. Use me and abuse me if that’s what you need.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, and that’s when he attacks me, pushing me backward onto the bed and covering my body with his. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me,” I assure him, reaching up to cup his cheek against my palm. “But if you need it rough, then I do too. Don’t be afraid to give me what you need.”

He growls like I’ve never heard, spreads my legs apart and dives deep into my core. He takes me in a way I never thought he’d be able to. Gone is the man who was more worried about my pleasure, and in his place is a man on a mission. What mission? I’m unsure, but I feel it as he thrusts in and then pulls back out with an intensity I’m not used to.

Hooking my legs around his waist, he holds on tight to my ass cheeks. “God, Tristan, this is so different than how you normally are.”

He buries his mouth in my neck as he lifts one hand and brings it down hard against my flesh. It makes a loud crack that causes me to groan loudly. “Feel good, baby?” he questions, pulling back and slapping my flesh again.

“Yes, do it more.”

I never realized I would like a little walk on the wild side, but with my husband, I’m willing to try anything. Part of it may be because we haven’t seen each other in a while, and the other part may be because he seems more virile than he ever has.

“Tristan,” I whisper, hoping he can hear me over the sounds of our bodies slapping together.

He bites at my jawline, bringing his hands up to mine, entwining our fingers and pressing them up above my head. “What?”

“Make me pregnant.” My voice breaks as I say these words.

He stops, his eyes meeting mine. “Do you know what you’re saying?”

“Yes.” I tighten my legs around his waist. “If you don’t come back to me, I want a reminder of you. Give me your baby.”

An absolutely feral sound erupts from his throat as he presses his knees into the bed and rides me hard. We’re straining against one another, both wanting the other to come. “You want me to fuck you and make you pregnant? Give you my seed?”

He’s never spoken like this before. It’s so fucking hot. “Yes, I’m here, I want it all. Come for me, Tristan. Come inside me.”

Opening my thighs wider, I undulate into him, taking every inch of his body. Sweat breaks out across both of our bodies. We slip and slide against one another. “You want it?” he asks, his voice full of passion and deep with gravel. “You want me to give you my child?”

“Yes, more than anything, I want that.”

He releases my hand, slapping his palm next to my head. “I wanna give that to you,” he grunts, his teeth gritted and his hips swinging into mine.

“Then do it.” I reach up, pressing my hand to his chest. “You’ve gotta come.”

“I’m trying,” he pants.

The hand pressing to his chest travels up, and I wrap my fingers around his throat, applying pressure. “I need you, Tristan. Come for me.”

“Tighter,” he pushes out between those gritted teeth.

I do as he asks, and he loses control. His rhythm is gone, and all of a sudden his body seizes up, his head thrown back as he comes deep inside me. When I feel his heat, I’m right there with him, dragging my fingers down his chest, hoping that I mark him so deeply he’ll remember my love while we’re apart.