Page 28

CHAPTER 28

AMELIA

I’ve never been so nervous and proud at the same time. Tristan has made one of the hardest decisions anyone has ever had to make in this monarchy. Which is why I want to support him in the best way I can, and since I’ve gotten a following with the broadcasts, this is how I’m going to do it. My lips are dry, so I reach over and grab the bottle of water sitting next to me.

I try to ignore the shaking of my hand as I bring the bottle to my mouth. A large gulp wets my throat and gives me the kick in the ass I need.

Shannon is standing behind the cell phone, waiting to give me my cue. “You’re going to do great,” she says. “I’m sure the residents of Haldonia are waiting to hear from you. It’s like you’ve become their best friend through all of this. You’re the person they can count on every single day. I know you don’t see it, but they count on you. The little bit they get on social media, they talk about how they look forward to your daily addresses. They know at three in the afternoon, they can connect to the feed, and there you are.”

That’s so much pressure. More than I ever anticipated. When I started having these talks every day, I never expected for them to be the battle cry of a country, but that’s what they appear to be. This one is the most important I have ever given, and I have to make it count.

Shannon makes the motion to let me know that I am being broadcast out to the citizens of Haldonia, and I take a moment to stare at them even though I can’t see them. I want them to know that I understand everything that’s happened here. It’s nothing to take lightly. We have changed the trajectory of our history, and it’s important that we acknowledge it.

Licking my lips, I start. “Good evening, people of Haldonia. I’ve made it a habit of coming to you every afternoon and giving you an update on what’s going on. By now, you will have heard that Haldonia has attacked our neighbors. This was not unprovoked. King Tristan himself was targeted over the past few days, and late last night, early this morning, he was injured by Crona forces.”

Here is the part I want to reiterate. It’s important for the people to know that Tristan made this decision because he felt as if it were the right one.

“What King Tristan decided to do was not taken lightly, ever. This was his decision and his decision alone. I stand by it. He chose to aim missiles at targets that were military and members of the Calder family. He purposely decided to stay away from parts where civilians would be, as he does not want to harm them, unlike the Calder family who bombed a market here three days ago. There were fifteen civilian deaths. Fifteen! And then they have the gall to come after your king? After my husband? They’re never going to stop unless we stop them.”

I take a moment to center myself and breathe deeply in order to keep my emotions in check. Knowing Tristan could’ve been easily killed still bothers me. There are times when I catch myself thinking about what my life would be like without him. It doesn’t feel good, and the one thing I’ve learned is I never want to experience it. He means more to me than anyone else in my life.

He is my life.

The present, the future, and everything in between. So I need the members of our country to know we must trust him. He has nothing but our best interests at heart.

“I hope you realize that this was not an easy decision for Tristan. He never wanted violence, but his hand was forced. I hope that you all stand by him, understand the difficult decisions he’s had to make, and agree with what he ultimately decided to do. He will take responsibility for any of the blowback. I know him. I love him. He is a good man—a great man—who has high integrity, and if anyone has to answer for what he’s done, it will be him.”

Inhaling deeply, I place the onus on Tristan to answer any questions that citizens of our country may have. It’s not easy to make these decisions, but it’s imperative we listen to any concern that anyone may have. At the same time, I want everyone to know we have the same end game. As long as we’re strong together, no one is going to stop us.

“I hope you all join me in a prayer tonight for the people that we’ve lost and for the decisions we’ve had forced upon us by someone else.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and lick my dry lips. “We pray that this is the end, that we can go on and live our lives peacefully, and that we don’t have to deal with this again. No one deserves it. No one wanted it except for the people who started this. All we want is for it to end, and hopefully this is where it does.”

It’s my greatest hope, and I know that Tristan believes the same. All we want is to live in peace, like we were before.

“We will rebuild no matter how long it takes. Haldonia will come out on top, and we will be stronger than we ever were. My love is with you all tonight, and I hope that you’re all hugging your loved ones. I pray I’ll be able to hug mine soon, and while we won’t be back to normal ever again after the things we’ve seen and what we’ve had to do, we will be united with love, empathy, and the desire to live our lives the way we want to.”

Tears have pooled in my eyes, and while I’ve been reluctant to show my emotions previously, now is the time for me to drop that rigid hold I have on myself, and let the people of this country see it all. They start out silent, just streaming and gathering at the edge of my cheeks. My chin collecting them until they spill over, like raindrops on the edge of a bucket. Once they get there, and spill over onto my neck, the sobs start in earnest.

I’m not even sure what I’m crying for. Is it because I miss my husband? I’m scared because I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, or just because of the emotion dump I’m experiencing. Although we haven’t been in this situation for years like some countries, it’s still been stressful. The stress, the not knowing what’s going to happen, and not having my husband by my side has been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.

Shannon hands me a tissue from where she’s standing, and it makes me cry harder. My face falls into my hands, along with the tissue. She does something she’s never done before. She steps out from behind the camera and comes over to where I sit, wrapping her arms around me.

“Are you okay?” she whispers, rubbing up and down my back.

“Yeah,” I whisper back. “Just give me a few seconds.”

The sobs work through me, my breath hitching as I try to calm myself down enough to continue to speak. It takes a few times for me to not feel shaky. She walks back behind the camera. I close my eyes and wipe at the tears before opening them and staring back at the camera. “I love you all. I’m praying for you all, and we will come out of this together. We are strong, and we’ve got this.”

I nod slightly at Shannon to let her know to cut the feed. When she tells me that she has, I ball in upon myself, letting out great sobs full of anxiousness and desperation. The only thing I want right now is to hug my husband, but because of this situation we’ve been forced into, I can’t.

Steadying my chin, I give her a sad smile. “I don’t know about you, but I need to go to bed.”

It’s early, but I need peace and quiet. All I want to do is look out the window, toward the ocean, and let it soothe my soul. I trudge up the stairs knowing I’m going to bed alone and realize just how much I fucking hate it.