Page 29

CHAPTER 29

TRISTAN

The live feed from Crona is as if I’m watching a video game, and this isn’t real life. Did they do this when they dropped the bombs on us? Did they watch the people outside in the markets as they ran for their lives? Did they high-five and grin with glee as we scrambled to figure out what the hell was happening?

I’m so far away from that right now that I’m about to be sick. I hate that I had to make this decision. This kills me me—watching members of their cabinet and military—running for their lives. However, each of those people made a decision regarding who they would follow. No one forced them into it. Crona isn’t like Haldonia, where members are required to do military service. Their military is one hundred percent voluntary. These men and women? They decided, with their own brains and hearts, knowing what the leader of their country was like. Those members of the cabinet? They ran, knowing the kind of man they would serve under.

I don’t want to watch this any longer than I have to. “When do you think we should know something concrete?” I ask the head of our military.

He glances over at me, his nose flaring as he inhales. “Soon. We’ve taken out ninety-five percent of their base, which means they don’t have ammunition or vehicles with which to deliver a counterattack on us. This blitz has done exactly what we wanted it to. It’s over, King Tristan. We won’t allow them to have enough ammunition to put together any kind of answer to what we’ve done.”

Accomplishment makes my chest expand with pride. It shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be so proud of what I’ve just done, but I want this over. I want to go home to my wife. I want to sleep with her every night, talk to her about having children, live the life we were living before this hand was forced upon us.

Guilt threatens to suffocate me, as I realize there are people who have fought on both sides who will no longer have these options. I can’t say I enjoyed having to make this decision, because I didn’t. If there could’ve been any other way for me to protect my people, I would’ve. We were backed against the wall, and there was no other decision for me to make. If we want to live freely and in peace, then this was what I had to do.

More than anything, I want the country of Haldonia to prosper and thrive, to not have to worry that this will happen again. And the only way I will do that is by making a stand such as what we’ve just done. I’m exhausted, tired of it all. I don’t know how leaders of countries do this for years at a time. Maybe I’m not cut out for leading my people. Or maybe I need to cut myself a break and focus on what I’m able to do.

Either way, all I know is I can’t wait to go home, sleep in my own bed, hold my wife, and not think about any of this again. Parker taps my shoulder. “Let’s go get cleaned up and get a good night’s rest. We’ll know more once the sun comes up.”

The sun coming up is what worries me. People will see the destruction and the decision I’ve made. They’ll know I’m the one who did it. And if there is anyone mad about it, I’m the person they’re going to come to. That or they could come to Amelia.

I’m scared to death of her being the target of others because of what I’ve done. Parker taps his phone. “Did you see Amelia’s address? She did good. She’s going to make an amazing queen. Her words were poised, deflective, and sure. That’s all we ever could have asked for. The emotion she showed proved how she’s a leader of the people.”

Anger rises in my chest as I think about how she’s put herself in the middle of this. How she’s made herself a target. “Parker, with all due respect, fuck off. There’s nothing that will make me believe that having my wife emotional on a national telecast proves what kind of a leader she is. That’s bullshit and disgusting that others want to see her pain. I’m not as patient as I used to be, and if I see people making fun of her, I’m going to fly off the handle, Parker. That includes you.”

“I’m not making fun of her.” He holds his hands up. “I’m saying how good it was for the people to see her be as emotional as she was. It allows them to know that she cares deeply.”

“Why wouldn’t she care deeply? This is her country as well as ours. I don’t want others to force her to show emotions that she isn’t sure she wants to. I’m aware that I’m shooting the messenger, Parker. But I can’t stand it. I can’t. We’ve been through too much. You and I know what Crona is going to say about what we’ve done, and I’ll be damned if she gets caught in the middle of this.” My chest is pumping up and down as I finish talking to him.

He nods, dipping his chin into his chest. “We both know that, but they don’t. They see this as Haldonia being power hungry because of how we have grown in the past few decades.”

To the outside world, the Calders could spin this however they want to. It’s important the true narrative be exposed, and by us bombing them, putting an end to this, that’s what’s going to happen. We never wanted to harm them. They have always wanted to hurt us.

But the truth is I’m not sure of any of this, and I won’t be until we’re told that they’ve surrendered. Only then, and only after I have a signature and a promise, will I be able to relax and go home.